Date: 08/10/15 | Views: 113443 | Category: Surprise

The excitement of having to tuck your cock into a sock must fade quick when your average run time is less than a Pizza Hut commercial. Unless that thing can lip sync, I'd say his time in front of a camera is done son.

Date: 08/09/15 | Views: 114654 | Category: Premature

READ: The device she's squatting on is controlled by the amount of tips she gets in real time. More they pay, the harder it goes. I call it one step closer to Skynet. Timothy Sykes calls it getting a return on investment.

Date: 08/08/15 | Views: 70624 | Category: Squirting

I like how he goes for the cheek kiss after straight up sexually assaulting them pro bono, effectively changing their 'gurls nite out' from a ✔- to a ✔+. Polite, civilized and the genitals of an aging cocker spaniel all-in-one.

Date: 08/07/15 | Views: 166511 | Category: Teen

DOMINO EFFECT: she goes 2fast2furious on her clitoris > sound alerts boss > surprise confrontation almost makes her give birth to a Hershey's special dark bar. Find her HERE where she bills herself as a cool 55lbs.

Date: 08/06/15 | Views: 111217 | Category: Webcams

If only the planet of ham from this classic were here today, we could get his approval. Or h8 since his only documented contact is with Ralph Macchio. Point is: Karate Kid is a good movie and deserves our respect.

Date: 08/05/15 | Views: 153143 | Category: Alphas

Things I won't do: #1 - Skin-on-skin w/ a public toilet. #2 - Lie to the viewers. Therefore, this is pretty lame. But it is the first time I've ejaculated to a fully clothed girl since Kelly Kapowski circa 1995. So... there's that.

Date: 08/04/15 | Views: 133331 | Category: Fappers

Bruno gets a reality check after a housewife jumps the gun, and yanks his towel off before maximum stiffness is achieved. He deals with humiliation the same way I deal with Mongolian food: legs crossed, anus puckered.

Date: 08/03/15 | Views: 104461 | Category: LMAO

How many times have I said "sweet mother of Hulk fucking Hogan, this Asian girl just turned me off to the entire female gender"? Ninety seven. How many times did I actually mean it? ZERO. Until today. #TRIGGERED

Date: 08/02/15 | Views: 116741 | Category: Asians

JinJang and Co. drop their porkbuns and head to the streets for some good ol' fashioned Shanghai fun: Going berserker barrage on a defenseless girls undergarments. It's like watching Bill Cosby in 1983. Too soon? Too bad.

Date: 08/01/15 | Views: 110235 | Category: Stripped

One time something Japanese-related decides not to censor genitalia... it involves a love doll built for Verne Troyer. But the key phrase today is: LOVE STORY. This has one that would make Twilight shit it's pants in envy.

Date: 07/30/15 | Views: 92447 | Category: WTF

I'm all for asserting control by refusing to spend $15 at Motel6 but for real, if he doesn't start scouting better venues, eventually he's gonna end up with bullet holes and then it's "MISSION FAILED" a la Metal Gear Solid.

Date: 07/29/15 | Views: 97230 | Category: Public

Noobie gets plundered by French Robert de Niro with an agenda consisting solely of her coal hole and how to pillage it. But apparently this shitter was built by Nokia, cause despite his wrath.. she walks away with a smile.

Date: 07/28/15 | Views: 151252 | Category: Cringe

5:35 is the mark. He starts off strong, only to have his erection look like something off the Wienerschnitzel menu. And yet he presses on, braving the vagina that literally turned his cocoa puff into the number seven.

Date: 07/27/15 | Views: 133773 | Category: Big Dicks

00:05 - FEAR
02:37 - PAIN
04:16 - HATE
11:43 - LOVE

Date: 07/26/15 | Views: 170567 | Category: Anal

Pina Colada aficionado zones out her surroundings just long enough to focus on more important things. I.E. getting power-fucked by Travis Barker. I vote sequel. 1 where Pedro & Co. go CARNAVAL on dat cinnamon ring.

Date: 07/25/15 | Views: 117962 | Category: Busted!

Another MFC slag airing out the flaps for guys cruising on the poverty line. She thinks raising erections at the Krusty Krab gives a competitive edge, but it's just an act of desperation even Dustin Diamond would laugh at.

Date: 07/24/15 | Views: 158726 | Category: Asians

3 groups of degenerates that have truly mastered the art of public debauchery. Blondie doing the 24 dong taste test may be a (worthy) repost, but Mr. Bean's sidewalk slam and the camel sliders sure as shit aren't.

Date: 07/23/15 | Views: 147703 | Category: Voyeur

Our main man Amjad is a master of two things: Taxi cab navigation and cooking up the meanest tikka masala this side of the prime meridian. Unfortunately neither of these abilities aid in correct condom usage. RIP Amjad.

Date: 07/22/15 | Views: 91167 | Category: Fail

An eight minute crash course on how to squeeze every shekel out of your favorite vagrant - as illustrated by a guy that barks out more instructions than a fucking ride at 6 Flags. It's priceless information really. Trust me.

Date: 07/21/15 | Views: 115271 | Category: Hookers