Personally, I prefer masturbating to the original. Not a fan of these pornographic remakes.

Date July 5th, 2009 Views 101230

HUMILIATING DEFEAT! More pics HERE and HERE and HERE.

Date July 5th, 2009 Views 103049

Date rape? Let the color of his skin guide you to your own conclusions.

Date July 5th, 2009 Views 152160

Apparently abducting a 50 pound toddler isn't as easy as CSI:NY makes it out to be.

Date July 2nd, 2009 Views 118466

Fat people just can't resist being on television. The second they see a camera they pursue it like Wienerschnitzel chili dog. Makes me sick.

Date July 2nd, 2009 Views 98096

Personally, I'd retaliate. Something involving poo exiting my asshole and landing in an unfavorable location. Defecate on a man once and he'll never fuck with you again. Take my word for it.

Date July 1st, 2009 Views 123684

It's semen. Not hydrochloric acid, ya dumb cunt.

Date June 30th, 2009 Views 125006

Neat trick but I fear that might void the warranty. Play it safe and stick with stick 2 liter Mountain Dew bottles. Always feels good to recycle.

Date June 30th, 2009 Views 104216

Zoey Zane... what a hot piece of ass. I tried to fap but I got cock-blocked by my own conscious. Apparently it's bad karma to masturbate to dead people.

Date June 27th, 2009 Views 147272

You guys should see my Myspace head shots. I beat these bitches at their own game. Thanks to the blend tool, I look like one of the Jonas brothers and I'm pulling in 300 friend requests a day. Mostly older men but I'm not one too complain.

Date June 25th, 2009 Views 120639

I wonder what it's like to fuck a girl 80 years younger than you? Senior citizenship ain't looking so bad fellas.

Date June 25th, 2009 Views 115065

I'm thinking Arbys.

Date June 23rd, 2009 Views 101196

For a minute there I figured this was the opening to a rape-porn. That fucking keyboard cat has killed my erection one too many times.

Date June 19th, 2009 Views 120065

Cute video. Unfortunately it's creator is currently serving a federal prison sentence on an obscenity conviction. He's likely getting butt raped by a black man right as I type this. Just something to think about as you commence fappage :P

Date June 19th, 2009 Views 146020

Oh cool, another way to pleasure a woman. Lemme get my notebook out! Just kidding. Pleasuring women is for pussies. Inducing pain and discomfort is where it's really at.

Date June 16th, 2009 Views 105555

Look at the screenshot. Download it to your desktop and zoom in. Looks like a bite-size snickers bar. Not something you'd expect from a male stripper right? I mean his income is practically dependent on the size of his cock and even I got him beat LOLOLOL.

Date June 15th, 2009 Views 136272

I'm just now realizing how irrelevant the 'celebrity' section is on here. Unless pictures of Paris Hilton busting a prolapse show up on the web in the near future, this category is getting shit-canned.

Date June 14th, 2009 Views 114577

Lucky her. She'll never know the pains of constipation.

Date June 9th, 2009 Views 126410

I dig the ass, but I think her money would've been better spent on facial reconstruction. She's got that whole chipmunk thing going on.

Date June 9th, 2009 Views 102455

Looks exhilarating but not worth the risk of penile decapitation. That bitch is just aching to clamp down.

Date June 9th, 2009 Views 128898