Upside to weighing less than the Ethiopian you met at a Paramore concert? Horse cock status, from all angles. 1 suggestion tho: Take a blowtorch to that haircut before Tampax hires you as their new spokesperson. Trust me.
Date: 06/20/15 |
Views: 110259 |
1 part mystery, 13 parts WTF. Confusion starts with the Thor-like climax at 2:44. Said goober then begins to flop around like an adderall-deficient retard. WHY? Only his gyno and Shaquille O'Neal's wife have that answer.
Date: 06/19/15 |
Views: 128139 |
Juanita makes her man eject his muscle milk faster than middle-aged women at a Chris Pratt movie, all by simply lowering her Levis & counting to 60. A critical mistake, but one you will masturbate to first and then criticize.
Date: 06/18/15 |
Views: 111037 |
1 girl does in 3 minutes what Lebron James couldn't do for 8 years: seal the deal. Her secret? Sandpappering her genitals like a 2x4. Not impressed? Check 1:52 for a battlecry that would make William Wallace shit his kilt.
Date: 06/17/15 |
Views: 161950 |
It's all fun & games until you give a 27-year-old YOLO enthusiast a colossal erection. He was given 0 access to the fur burger, he went for the 2 finger handshake. Some call it sexual assault. I prefer "breaking the ice".
Date: 06/16/15 |
Views: 135936 |
A romp in the ol rusty bullet hole goes sour once this underachiever realizes she just accepted a check her starfish can't cash. But blinded by fame and $47, she forges on. Result? Porn that demands a mute button.
Date: 06/15/15 |
Views: 111857 |
FACT: 99.98% of YouTube prank videos are faker than every head of hair behind a Burger King cash register. But this
GF bitch puts legitimacy to the final test when she commits testicular revenge not yet documented.
Date: 06/14/15 |
Views: 104022 |
Lensless glasses, shorts agape & the kinda smirk that says I had my finger in chili powder earlier, but what's next? I haven't been left with this kind of cliffhanger since Jessie 86'd Gale at the end of Breaking Bad S3.
Date: 06/13/15 |
Views: 190858 |
Can't say it's the first time I've witnessed anti-gravity g-spot stimulation, but it is the most remarkable one. Perhaps she's preparing for a trip to the petting zoo?
Date: 06/12/15 |
Views: 63952 |
15 mins of dry rectal sodomy. Fun stuff. But I bet the smile fades quick when you hear the sounds that follow each thrust of this butthole boogie. I'd try to describe them, but my keyboard doesn't have letters for THIS
Date: 06/11/15 |
Views: 141845 |
This is called "nerds gone haywire". It happens when girls with elf-shaped body pillows get pissy and need further stimulation. So they cosplay & eventually find themselves here: sucking Pyramid Head's dick. Hilarious.
Date: 06/10/15 |
Views: 123445 |
Girl does the unthinkable: offers up her noodle bowl on Craigslist to anyone with a pulse, free of charge. But instead of spacing out the local unemployed, she hits 1 after another w/o as much as a minge bath in between.
Date: 06/09/15 |
Views: 172042 |
The eroticism of her Grade-A frog squatting, is instantly flatlined when K Quik decides now is the time to spit that fire. From there on out it's a flood of words and let me tell you... this mood breaker doesn't know many.
Date: 06/08/15 |
Views: 91981 |
Going mach-17 on your clitoris in order to produce your first non-Harry Potter related climax? Cool. Seizing up like you got tazed in the asshole with a car battery? Not so cool. What in the fuck did I just ejaculate to?
Date: 06/07/15 |
Views: 89508 |
Dude packing as much meat as a vegan dinner special, heads to the bar for a good time and finds out it's 2for1 night. $8 gets you Smirnoff and a Thai-grade BJ. Sadly, Stewart lacks the rigidness to enjoy the savings, HAHA.
Date: 06/06/15 |
Views: 110866 |
Lacy wants to spice up her P-hub page with a little public action. Problem is... Lacy ain't no basic bitch that flashes her gash at the DMV & calls it a day. What follows made me scratch both balls in bewilderment.
Date: 06/05/15 |
Views: 126337 |
Before today there were two
things I was certain of. 1: Corey Feldman
is the greatest entertainer of all time. And 2: We've seen the last of Chloes sexual endeavors. He
proved me wrong once, but there will be no repeat.
Date: 06/04/15 |
Views: 122961 |
Ever cram an entire box of freshly cooked macaroni & cheese into a sock, then stick your dick in it? Of course not, only an idiot would waste $0.99 of Kraft's finest. But that's the kind of audio we're missing out on here.
Date: 06/03/15 |
Views: 106369 |
Selena plops a double serving of guacamole right on the dance floor and straight up doesn't give a fuck. EDIT: Upon closer review it looks like she was trying to dunk into the garbage can, but missed a layup instead LOL
Date: 06/02/15 |
Views: 124729 |
Category: Poo Poo
Lezbo newb works feverishly to bring her BFF to climax, only to question/smell the sour cream that gets ejected out. Best of luck in the LGBT community gals. A sea of promising high school gym teacher careers awaits you.
Date: 06/01/15 |
Views: 171897 |