Nothing spells A-L-P-H-A like a man refusing direction. TEH FACTS: He has not and will not take "no" for an answer, sympathy is prohibited and lube... well, that's as foreign to him as vagina in a Portuguese bathhouse.

Date: 05/21/15 | Views: 148774 | Category: Anal

This is pretty damn awesome. And I don't mean 'haha awesome' like when Janice Dickinson claimed Bill Cosby anyone raped her. This woman is focused, talented and can wax the shaft like her mentor's last name is Miagi.

Date: 05/20/15 | Views: 127823 | Category: Impressive

Fuck whoever said money can't buy love. This fedora flipper's Hanukkah cash just rented him 17 minutes he'll never forget. After that cocky smile/dickslap2daface combo @ 7:00 I'd say life only goes downhill from here.

Date: 05/19/15 | Views: 89167 | Category: Fail

Aspiring English professor by day, MFC trainee by... mid-day. Apparently this is legit, but I have skepticism like Tom Cruise has homosexuality. Despite the location and her reasonably-priced cardigan I still call bullshit.

Date: 05/18/15 | Views: 198094 | Category: Busted!

In retrospect, her expected future of being sold into human trafficking would've been just as painful as this act of penis de resistance. But those deviants don't pay like the couch man. Make those quarters count.

Date: 05/17/15 | Views: 121389 | Category: Porn

Not since the days of blindly acquiring porn ala Limewire have I come across a female with such seminal apathy. She's got standards bro. You know who doesn't have standards? THIS CORPSE. Laugh at her -- fap to this.

Date: 05/16/15 | Views: 89173 | Category: Facials

My gut tells me this is about as real as the Ph.D they just gave to Kanye... but I do find their performance right on par with any Adam Sandler movie. Thoughts?

Date: 05/15/15 | Views: 94486 | Category: LMAO

Public oyster shucking. Doesn't try to hide it. Doesn't care that Hot Topic's day shift is spectating. This MILF couldn't give less than a shit about the world around her and I respect that. Neglect porn should be a thing.

Date: 05/14/15 | Views: 152302 | Category: Voyeur

WARNING: This banshee makes more unidentifiable noises than Iggy Azalea a cappella . But zone out those screams and you'll be gifted with a step-by-step guide to climax nirvana. Some positions are priceless.

Date: 05/13/15 | Views: 98071 | Category: Alphas

Protip for my evergrowing female fanbase: If you ever find yourself on the other side of that desk, don't think you're going home with a pristine chili ring. Watch as one dunce after another gets educated the hard way.

Date: 05/12/15 | Views: 152874 | Category: Compilations

This is from 5x2. Described as 5 stages in the romance between a woman and a man. aka 4 boring things and a buttr4pe scene. Prepare yourself. The level of agony in this clip is second only to feminists in journalism.

Date: 05/11/15 | Views: 131240 | Category: Anal

Decent taste in women, horrific camera work. I got two words for this gentleman: TRIPOD MOTHERFUCKER. Try keeping them in mind next time you travel cross-state for the Limp Bizkit reunion concert. I'm here to help.

Date: 05/10/15 | Views: 199934 | Category: Amateur

I've seen girls do a lot of desperate shit just to keep their MFC accounts submerged in tokens... but putting a price ($200 lol) on your dignity to keep buttsniffer69 entertained? That's a level of slut I hope I never meet.

Date: 05/09/15 | Views: 161138 | Category: Webcams

Getting casted with a 40-something usually sucks, but it's not void of perks. There's the experience gap, and an assortment of ointments comes in handy. But as far as legendary cumshots go, that's all up to this MILF.

Date: 05/08/15 | Views: 151928 | Category: Impressive

Today we learn 3 crucial things, so grab your protractor and pay attention: #1: Charity is still alive and well. #2: Language barriers can always be broken. And #3: Unwashed hobo cock tastes better than Pepsi Max.

Date: 05/07/15 | Views: 116400 | Category: Asians

She's pushing 200lbs and thinks NASCAR is entertaining. How can life possibly get any worse? If you guessed "getting tag teamed by guys that have less respect for the female body than Bill Cosby" you're a winner.

Date: 05/06/15 | Views: 94192 | Category: Fail

Face of a virgin and she knows her way around a Baby Gap. Rarely do I say it, but this chick is 1 hymen break away from being worthy of a Burger King value meal on my dime. Sadly, 3.4 inch penises just don't do it for her.

Date: 05/05/15 | Views: 155078 | Category: Virgins

Meet beryl18. Camwhore? Yes. Collector of anime? Probably. But make no mistake about it: I'd slurp the shrimp scampi out of her Oriental mud garden just to get a chance at upping the protein count in her diet.

Date: 05/04/15 | Views: 179164 | Category: Amateur

Take your average Dress Barn cashier and weaponize her with the greatest features of a girl from Detroit (6-layer deep ass and... yeah, small list) and this is the result. Apply all mayonnaise-based lubricants necessary

Date: 05/03/15 | Views: 142739 | Category: Webcams

Tupac loads up his Indominus Rex and lays waste to an orifice that's seen more wide load traffic than the GW Bridge. Better yet: Ever set off an M-80 in a zucchini? That's the kind of labia majora we're dealing with here.

Date: 05/02/15 | Views: 146474 | Category: Big Dicks