Holy fuckin inverted shiitake mushroom. There's only 2 things capable of making a man's asshole look like that. One involves Wesley Snipes and a dimly lit room, the other is called Wienerschnitzel. May god have mercy.
Date July 29th, 2012
Views 144092
not what youre expecting.
Date July 20th, 2012
Views 201399
Two trashy fucks get caught fooling around on camera by an inarguably even trashier fuck - who generously provides play-by-play narration and some heartfelt commentary like "give him some head bitch".
Date July 6th, 2012
Views 135492
Only 2 things that can cause a woman's stomach to do that, and that is A.) the ejaculate of celebrity comedian Louie Anderson and B.) this dude's plump-ass penis head. Both uniquely different, yet equally fatal.
Date July 5th, 2012
Views 346810
At first I was like "damn, I wish that was my GF", but upon deeper contemplation I realized her talents would be completely wasted on my 5.4 inch penis. Cue 'Screaming Infidelities' by Dashboard Confessional.
Date July 5th, 2012
Views 273040
I've been beating off to this same video for 3 weeks now. It's actually becoming a problem. I haven't felt this unproductive since the time I got fired from U-Haul and spent the remainder of my day watching Weekend At Bernies 1 & 2.
Date June 21st, 2012
Views 220515
I refuse to laugh at this. I have a soul, & while it very well may be more withered than Richard Gere's asshole after an overnight stay at Petco, it still has a voice, & today that voice says faptime in fucking canceled.
Date June 14th, 2012
Views 226604
god damn.
Date June 13th, 2012
Views 219170
Kinda off-topic but holy fuckin frosted flakes, whenever this girl gets pissed (every 3 seconds), her face instantaneously scrunches up and transforms into Michael Cera. Proof @ the 6:59 mark. It's magical.
Date June 6th, 2012
Views 730442
My main man Karbulahammed the 3rd, (Mr. Carl for short), can run like the fucking wind. Unfortunately though, the bullets belonging to the 30mm cannon aimed at his dome are a wee bit faster. Adios Mr. Carl.
Date June 5th, 2012
Views 155142
BOOM. This girl has officially just replaced Blossom on my longstanding Fictional-Characters-I-Cant-Fuck-But-Want-To-Fuck-Anyway list. ADDED BONUS: she's not fictional. This be grounds for a trip to Yogurtland.
Date June 4th, 2012
Views 309997
Super cute face. Could almost pass for an Olsen twin. Unfortunately her fermenting twat looks like something out of an XXX remake of Harry & The Hendersons. I can smell the fuckin Wisconsin sharp cheddar from here.
Date June 3rd, 2012
Views 262205
There's a very thin line between making love and balls-deep cornholio slaughterage. Where that line lies, I do no know, but I can sure as fuck tell you this greasy Estonian faggot sure as fuck crossed it.
Date May 31st, 2012
Views 414649
Sorry Grams. Her titty growth spurt > your stage IV leukemia. Someone email me when the photo of her showing off her new clit ring at Grandma's funeral surfaces.
Date May 31st, 2012
Views 125052
63 minutes of painal. This shit is so faptastic I actually canceled my dinner date @ Del Taco just so I could watch the whole fuckin thing. PROTIP: I cancel Del Taco for no one. THAT'S how good this video is.
Date May 26th, 2012
Views 231952
Pleather choker, glow in the dark nail polish, and an occasional bitch slap weaker than the walls of Richard Simmons's rectum. I haven't seen this level of intensity since Leprechaun 4: In Space.
Date May 26th, 2012
Views 178733
Disappointing. Not as disappointing as season 2, episode 12 of the Walking Dead when Shane gets shanked by deputy douchebag. I'd say more along the lines of disappointing like when Michael Jackson died.
Date May 26th, 2012
Views 137297
This is incredibly erotic, yet so perverse. I haven't felt this conflicted since my chance encounter with Meredith Vieira at Souplantation in West Hollywood. On 1 hand I want to call her mom, on the other I wanna fuck the living pigment out of her asshole.
Date May 4th, 2012
Views 225765
Those tits look pretty weathered for a 19 year old. That aside, I give it a hearty 4 1/2 boners up. Pretty much the hottest thing I've seen since Welcome To The Rileys with that skanky delight Kristen Stewart.
Date May 4th, 2012
Views 334495
She sees the elephant penis. She knows the danger. And yet initially, she continues to approach. Why? It's almost as if his elephant penis has some sort of gravitational pull. I want an elephant penis.
Date May 4th, 2012
Views 272598
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