uhh forget the permeating aroma of sardines now trapped in mom's throw rug forever for a second; is that a mother fuckin Panasonic Gamecube behind her?
idk what the fuck else to call this, but the amount of naturally occurring meat on that page is too damn high. The look on the second to last girl is a familiar one though. Something that involves hermit crabs, and Bill Cosby's email address.
sry, can't verify more than 1% of these participants are married. But tomorrow is 3:16 day and I've had enough pre-gamed steveweisers to make that ninja turtle in the 1st pic look doable. All I'm sayin is, the garbanzo bean has been activated.
2 parts mystery, 18 parts boner food. The bafflement begins about halfway into scrolling downward, when you realize these cornholios are too polished to have experienced chimichanga nite after dancing with Jack Daniels and Jim Beam.
Unfuckinbelievable dimensions on some of these hog riders. Even pre-lockdown erections would be lined up around the block just to be in the same zip code as some of these high mileage spring loaded pudding hatches. A man needs names.
Nearly 50 forever moments in Bacardi-fueled whoring so unprecedented you'll have to rethink your entire post-Covid plan this summer. Don't be fooled by some of those smiling faces; Your dosage of Valtrex doubles from this point onward.
I believe the youngsters around the AOL chat rooms call this "going hard in the paint". Check my myspace for more kool memes & be sure 2 like and subscribing.
Looks like classic #stoya content, but I could be wrong. The cucked out army of millennials that have mainstreamed this behavior always makes you wonder...
big warning: not even dragging your penis through an orgy of churro-flavored hispanic hoochie will make the mental images you're about to endure go away.
Pic #5 is what you want. Half cause she has masterfully paired an outfit together. Half cause it's the face of a girl who knows the solution to the 3 seashells puzzle.
Nice collection. REAL nice. But it's girl 2 in the gallery that really wets my whistle. The kinda female that has wall-mounted awards for her swallow job philanthropy.
The ultimate collection (read: 20 images) of intoxicated and/or inebriated females soiling the utter fuck out of their clean images. Perhaps I'm alone on this one... but I'm seeing wife material across the board here.
A phat ass can make up for anything: bad skin, pubic lice, the initial stages of Chlamydia. But THIS vagrant? She's got booty meat like Tom Cruise has regressive Aspergers and I don't know exactly where to cram my quarters.
I wont bamboozle you: this trailer park starter kit is pretty uninspiring. But there's something about girl #2 that speaks to me in a she's sucked dick for chicken nuggets kind of way, and I think it should be shared with the world.
11-picture tutorial on how to secure your status as a registered sex offender. Specifically #9, which is miraculously not sporting a single visible skid mark.
The most offensive thing I've seen women do since accidentally loading buzzfeed.com. And much like that site, spending more than 5 minutes in the same room as one of these creatures will lead to ritual suicide. #GAG
There's only 2 things I value in life more than quilted toilet paper. One involves napalm and celebrity home tours. The other is sexually frustrated women giving less than a fuck in public. Today I get 1 wish granted.
My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her. - George Washington
Admittedly this is all pretty standard 'i drank two whole Coronas on spring break and jerked off your dog in the basement' syndrome... but girl in pic #11 is asking for trouble. Like, losing your bottle deposit kinda trouble.
I'm all for pushing the limits. But when you need two tickets to fly coach cause you're packing more weight than Tyrion Lannister under your nipples, we officially have a fucking problem. #4 I'm looking in your direction.
Had a fully torqued meat wrench going until I panned on down to #16. Looks like someone crossbred Aubrey Plaza with a chimpanzee then shit her out of Sarah Silverman. In other words: I only ejaculated twice.
Confirmation #92 that you're a fully fledged slutaroonie: The douchebag quartet (pic #5) whip their cocks out in the corner of a bar, and rather than go Kung Fu Panda on them, you snap photos for Instagram. #NOFILTER
