Only 2 people should never be caught doing the forbidden fox trot: Lindsay Lohan in her 'i'll snort Clorox' phase, and this girl. She's 19, anti-semen and dumber than a mailbox on Sunday. In other words: she was BORN for Efukt.
I once heard a female performer cover half the star spangled banner during a scene. That used to rank pretty high on my personal ist of 'random-as-fuck-videos-with-a-vagina-in-them'. And then I saw this.
The most offensive thing I've seen women do since accidentally loading buzzfeed.com. And much like that site, spending more than 5 minutes in the same room as one of these creatures will lead to ritual suicide. #GAG
Starts off as a BJ vid, but like me during The Mummy remake, it lasts about 27 seconds. From then on it's all pleasure. And by 'pleasure' I mean whiplash so violent u'll be amazed she can feed herself without FEMA gettin involved.
This lady has a condition known as 'high maintenance'. It's what happens when dad stops loving you before you get into college, so you seek the refuge of alpha males that tenderize you like a $4.00 shank of London Broil.
Easy on the eyes, but her attention whoring puts a Kardashian to shame. 1 dick? k. 2 I get after a round of wine spritzers - but in front of 1,200 people? Bitch, if I wanted to see livestock, I'd get my ban lifted from The Bronx Zoo.
2 things I value more than Arby's 5 for $5: One involves quilted toilet paper & pressure assisted toilets. The other is women so into their fantasies, they don't even need a costar to bring da squeeze. Today, 1 wish gets granted.
You can't recover from this. She'll forever been known as the poster girl for autism in porn. She's essentially a walking, twitching, Reddit activist, yet she stays in good spirit no matter the chromosomes. I like dat, but I dont love it.
What weighs 245lbs, has the lower body of a centaur, and enjoys turning female genitalia into mashed potatoes? This couple's hired gun... and he's not even at full power yet. More unidentifiable rectum sodomy HERE
After banging a good 85% of the Czech Republic's population, he finally broke unfamiliar ground: A mint condition hymen... and an uneducated one at that. She taps out quicker than me during the Baywatch movie.
How to make your absurd family tree porn 50x better: Cast actors that don't look like they crawled out of Danny Bonaduce's asshole after a 2 night stay in Tijuana. That's what people want: To FAP. Not FAP and instantly regret it.
Her claim to fame is deplorable, and that front seat probably smells like a Chinese cat house. But when the pants come off at 0:34 seconds, her hips look like they can survive giving birth to Danny Devito & its fuckin beautiful.
If there's 1 thing short-haired white wimmen are really good at, aside from demanding special treatment at discount clothing stores, it's living out depraved sexual fantasies. And this one just boggles my fucking mind.
44 fucking minutes of footage, and I still don't know if this girl is a dwarf or I'm getting hoodwinked my creative camera angles again. Luckily, my family-sized jug of coconut oil has run dry and I've already stopped caring.
So what do we have here? Stunned by the feels of reverse birth, or the start of a snuff film? Dunno, but 1 thing's certain: if anal is in her future, she best have a solid insurance plan. I'm talkin rectal trauma, of the prolapse variety.
This is actually standard British "I can't be arsed to dig up 17£ for my own hooker, so I'm gonna watch you do it for free" syndrome. Fortunately, this time we have a gentleman showing us the ropes. u da man Sebastian
Much like the Fast and Furious franchise, this went from mildly amusing to, "it's time to stop" pretty damn quickly. Tipping point involves an ass to mouth audible plan B rejection after failing to fly the dick ship to Uranus.