The one time incestual storylines involve a believable girl... and she's getting fondled by a real life version of Shrek. p.s. welcome back NothingToxic.com. My 2004 AOL away messages have missed your beautiful face. #nostalgia
Only 60 seconds into her movie debut, and this DTF-GF is already 86'ing the entire thing. Undoubtedly to keep her name credible in the community and around all things pumpkin spice-flavored. Talk about high-maintenance.
FFS: if you're gonna pay top dollar to rent desperate college girls, you might as well get a finger wet. Then again... when Home Depot is the source of your libido, maybe you've already done all the cummin you can do. Carry on.
Meet 22-year-old Serenity. She has a knack for rejecting everything and anything resembling sexual contact during a porn scene. This video is an example of what happens to producers when The Cuntinator gets her way.
This is called Taking a Swedish Bike Ride. It happens when those dudes with above-average girth fail lubrication preparation. So they pump harder... til a breaking point hits. Somewhere between the 3rd & 4th second degree burn.
The long anticipated sequel to this gem, or gang initiation? I don't know, but maybe my logic is flawed to begin with: If it's not going in through the top, it probably has no business going in through the bottom ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
She's got Maybelline's bolt-on tits and doesn't give a fuck. They flirt, they grope, they jerk off like the Titanic is going down. Shit's goin good... till u realize it's just some Buzzfeed journalist living out a feminist wet dream.
She may be short on words, but those facial expressions definitely tell a story. Specifically 'this is my life now', 'i hope i get Instagram followers' and my favorite: 'why do i fuck like a piece of expired celery?'. P.S. NICE ASS
It's all fun n' games until your pre-planned window of jack off time gets commandeered. Humiliation hits these tards like a sac of Power Rangers VHS tapes, but some of them refuse to quit. Essentially redefining 'integrity'.
Want indisputable proof that Americans are all about philanthropy? Look no further my skeptical friends. Our boy wheels gets the handout of a lifetime, effectively erecting all jealous boners in a quarter mile radius.
Everybody has a gift. His is convincing solid 7's to double up on his bald headed field mouse while simultaneously crossing sexual orientation lines. A beautiful moment before being dropkicked back to the strawberry fields.
2 rules: Don't touch the ink. And don't beat the shit out of her face. Talk about high standards. But this fire-eyed hose hog isn't fucking around . One costar decides to test her anyway, resulting in a brief but epic departure.
Contrary to stereotypes, gOiNg wILd isn't really this ones specialty. She has sex like a confused chihuahua. Calling her back for a sequel is out of the question... but that's all okay when you look like 2003 Scarlett Johansson.
Watching girls live off the pocket change of degenerates usually sucks, but it's not without perks. I once saw a girl single-handedly stop the rise of the machines. But as far as precious memories go thats all up to these Jezebels.
Local miscreant suffering from the combo of anorexia & Fresh Prince of Bel Air fashion sense seeks out the easiest way to make tree fiddy: The leading role in a skin flick that even Kevin Spacey wouldn't be caught jacking off to.
I said it once, I'll say it again: sweet fuckin Mr. Bean, not even a Vietnamese plastic surgeon could Ctrl+Alt+Del the Clydesdale from this face. Decent body though. I shall dub u " fugliest ho i'd still go down on ". Run with that.
Technique can redeem just about anything - bad hygiene, irregular tits, liking The Big Bang Theory. But HER? She's got skills like a Chinese flutist & all I can think about is pairing her up with up with this genetic jackhammer.
Becky gets the frappuccinos fucked out of her, generating one throbbing orgasm after another. I'm guessing the end result isn't too aesthetically pleasing. An hour of this is how things end up on the Arby's value menu.
3 A.M. hookup goes from erotic to i'll kill u motherfucker as Ivan Ivanovitch Ivanovsky starts sticking his custard musket into enemy territory. The hate in her eyes is real. Him promising to keep this home movie a secret is not.