These stories have not been embellished, because - they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of the average degenerate human being sharing this planet with you. Except that last one. Oh yes, there will be blood.
The downside of dating girls w/ the libido of adderall addicted mongooses? She makes the rules. Both in sex & the all-asparagus diet you now have to abandon.
Becky Buttholowski has all her yappin instantly silenced when the official United States immigration policy shows up & has a word or 2 with her. No negotiations.
The primary drive train has definitely failed the Carfax report more than once, but whatever summer tires she's running on the back make up for it. I haven't seen grip that impressive since Holmes clutching Superbowl XLIII in the forth quarter.
You know, for a woman that has made a living documenting the abuse of her sour pickle pocket I must say it's still in pristine condition. It might need an alignment, but she obviously adheres to a very strict maintenance care plan.
tbf, the only thing more nauseating than playing Only Up in VR would be waking up to another family member dive bombing without getting the green light first.
This was definitely created before the boom of lobotomized TikTok actors made Steven Segal look like an Oscar contender. Respect for being visionaries I guess?
Daisy Haze. She never got big big and it's a mystery as to why. She had a unique look, chipper attitude and wasn't averse to maximum cringe. More [penetration]
Everything about that statement is true, except the "oops" part. Something tells me 'ole carrot top here has sabotaged these sweatshop dick ponchos before...
It may not be written in the rule book, but there's only one translation for the body language on the girl going Milli Vanilli on herself. And it lives somewhere in between "i need to pay taxes" & "the cowboys choked". Three of life's guarantees.
Impressive. Both her willingness to roleplay as a street corner fire hydrant, and his accuracy. It's a combination second only to Ted Nugent + Salvation Army camo.
wtf is with this ❝i'm not stopping until medicare qualifies her for a wheelchair❞ approach to slamming married women nowadays? Call me old fashioned, but I preferred when it was more romantic and hidden in Taco Bell bathroom stalls.
Ah the unexpected kiss of Country Time Lemonade. Sneaking one past the goalie might not end your relationship, but trust will be forever broken. Still worth it imo.
Time to meet your new idol. She's probably activated more STDs than a Sudanese prostitute, yet somehow still manages to be the most popular girl at the function.
Some people invest into their 401-K plans to insure a healthy retirement. Others, work until the grave. And then there's this marble garglin sonuvabitch who is going to burn every cent in the name of B tier semi-pornstar vaginal exploration.
Not sure what actually happened here, but it doesn't look like an unannounced serving of Jossepi's homemade alfredo sauce was the reason for a time out. If you listen closely, it sounds like a neighbor was tired of the female's mating calls.
The aftermath is key here. The same results could've been achieved by renting a John Deer tractor and filling her with Oxycontin. But where's the chivalry in that?
Imagine spending weeks convincing your corner store Karen to accept the 2vs1 handicap match, only to sideline her with a cock that gets cease and desist letters from Nike. Just flip that thing over & hit it with a snowmobile again, you'll be aite.
Severely malnourished, prefers being bulldozed on a bed of gas station weed crumbs and whimpers like a Packer's fan when they don't make the playoffs. I haven't seen a combination this destructive since Wendy's launching the 5 for $5.
In what I assume is an attempt to squeeze another $5/month out of her monthly sub price, Tanya Luanne Britnnay-Lynn has effectively turned herself into a tool for community service. Now everyone get in their '93 Honda Accords & go home.
I'm all for community building, but maybe this whole "bring your wife to work day" thing needs to be restructured. At least mandate a flea bath, cause... fuck.
