I can forgive the potato-grade video quality. I understand the lack of names to prevent Instagram stalking. But cutting off the girls @3:39 before they ran to use honey dijon as lubricant? ZERO/5 stars you simple-minded, incredulous fuck bag.
warning: the i'm close enough to smell the chic-fil-a polynesian sauce position is not approved for women over 35 or those with pre-existing vertebrae conditions.
Probably spends more time configuring Starbucks drinks than guarding her icloud act. But I gotta say; nice tits. Coming from me it's the compliment of a LIFETIME.
Almost feels like the b-roll footage out of a semi modern day slasher flick. He's gonna feel about as awkward as the brown dude every time Captain Planet came on screen begging for help once he realizes his cock is all over 3% of the Internet.
If this is peak of modern day problem solving, I'm just a tad bit worried about the future. As well as the egregious depreciation of dollar menu value. #uvotedforthis
I don't know what fucking science experiment we're witnessing here, but every time this specimen makes contact with her uterus his face morphs into Elon Musk's hairline in 1998: Disturbing, and unsalvageable w/o cosmic intervention.
1 part hypebeast, 14 parts herpes simplex two. Surely my user base doesn't need a PSA on the reasons not to raw dog a girl that considers Fruit Stripe gum a luxury item. But just in case I've given too much faith, do not try this one at home.
If anything at all you need to click this for the masterpiece around the 2:00 mark. Akuma's pressure game looks unstoppable in Street Fighter VI. #pickatoptier
Awesome tits. Outgoing personality. Decent depth perception. 9/10, would subject my sacred Taylor Swift edition cumsock to all 6 seconds of this again.
Just when you think it's safe to love again. edit: That isn't the fucking video I originally linked to. Listen champs, I don't need your help to be made a fool of. My lifetime ban from every Denny's handicap stall in the country does that for me.
The upside to being treated like the exhaust pipe of a Chevrolet El Dorado? Literally nothing. All you have to do is breath and the alpha male fantasy fan fiction will magnetize to you like a herpes outbreak at a Playboi Carti concert.
$20.00 and the last bite of my Cheeseburger Hamburger Helper says she uses dumbass phrases like "amazeballs and ""awesome sauce" and "i'll kill you if I find you hiding in my bushes with a camera again mother fucker". Typical millennial.
Sometimes you feel so awkward watching something, you actually want it to be fake. That dude with the coagulated cheeseburger locker gut says otherwise...
If you're the kind of person that enjoys peak sigma male behavior, then this is the video for you. I'm talking the kind of blueprint that guy who used to dress up as a latex demon and run into the woods to shove leaves up his ass couldn't follow.
It could be legit. This wouldn't be the first time a college bro agreed to sample some expired salami in exchange for living rent-free. Annnnd it won't be the last.
Need proof that that stiffing people in your twenties is dangerous? Look no further my credit-enhanced friends. Meet Natalie Brooks. A special kind of girl that clearly needs more than one demonstration to learn her fucking lesson.
Much like an over-hyped celebrity bitch slapping his martial troubles away in front of a confused audience, this specimen ran out of integrity a long time ago. Now wipe up the slime you left near the bagel bites, we have company coming over.
I was going to leave something pleasant here, then I came across one of the most porpospterous displays of OnlyFans shilling I've seen (this month). Sorry lady, I will be reserving my next post-clarity night of nutting for the Sears Catalogue.
Imagine putting trust in a man that has been through this disaster and lived to tell the tale. Time for Alyssa to pack up those meatballs and reassess the future.
Sometimes I ask myself, how exactly did we get this far as a society? Then I remember Reddit has 50 million active users and it all starts to make sense.
