I can forgive the potato-grade video quality. I understand the lack of names to prevent Instagram stalking. But cutting off the girls @3:39 before they ran to use honey dijon as lubricant? ZERO/5 stars you simple-minded, incredulous fuck bag.
"ex fiancé sucking cock on the phone with mom" - Title alone leaves us with more questions than it does answers. Why would such an outgoing girl become an ex? How big are mom's tits? And most importantly; Are toothbrushes that expensive?
Only time I've seen self-harming determination this strong was in the /terraluna subreddit. And much like her ability to hold in a solid shit, I think it's time to pack it up and admit defeat boys. disclaimer: This is not financial advice [you retard].
Inflation near 9% and you're burning through c-notes so you can Rube Goldberg machine your way into the Guinness Book of Degenerate Orgasms? Someone send this to Dave Ramsey, I want to see him shit his economically priced pants.
If you're able to crank one out after hearing this guy struggle his way through the Tommy Wiseau School of Acting, then more power to you. 2 sentences into this cringe fest and I had to fire up a pot of chamomile tea as an apology to my penis.
Oh... it's this degenerate again. It's been over 8 years of this gimmick and I'm still questioning the driving force here. Can all 3 people that actually get off on semi-retired geriatrics doused in Mop & Glow contact me with explanations? preciate it.
Probably spends more time configuring Starbucks drinks than guarding her icloud account. But I gotta say; nice tits. I haven't seen a pair that symmetrical since the time I got caught w/ a VHS rip of Fast Times at Ridgemont High & mom's last jar of Smuckers Sweet Orange Marmalade. Thanksgiving hasn't been the same since.
Dude looks like he got kicked out of a Fortnite clan for chewing too many hot dogs on voice chat, and she was out of his league about 10 Xanex's ago. This conclusion was going to happen no matter how hard FarTGuy72 tried to stop it.
Almost feels like the b-roll footage out of a semi modern day slasher flick. Dude's gonna feel about as awkward as the brown dude every time Captain Planet came on screen begging for help once he realizes his cock is all over 3% of the Internet.
Too bad this had worse actors than every episode of "2 Broke Girls" combined. Otherwise I might have been able to ejaculate to something other than the back of my Cap'n Crunch Oops All Berries box today. The world is full of selfish people.
I don't know what fucking science experiment we're witnessing here, but every time this specimen makes contact with her uterus his face morphs into Elon Musk's hairline in 1998: Disturbing, and unsalvageable w/o cosmic intervention.
1 part hypebeast, 14 parts herpes simplex two. Surely my user base doesn't need a PSA on the reasons not to raw dog a girl that considers Fruit Stripe gum a luxury item. But just in case I've given too much faith, do not try this one at home.
Looks like this episode was shot somewhere between 2006 and 2011. A time when surprising unwilling minimum wage workers with your unwashed taint was considered ground breaking entertainment. Now we call it twitch.tv. #evolution
Training your girlfriend to spray the walls like like you just taught her Hydro Pump is a very crucial skill. Almost as important as not looking like your entire diet consists of the Paramore discography and kale burgers. Eat a carb. Be a man.
Just when you think it's safe to love again. edit: That isn't the fucking video I originally linked to. Listen champs, I don't need your help to be made a fool of. My lifetime ban from every Denny's handicap stall in the country does that for me.