My open letter to Lilly Ford: I will donate all of the $12.75 I made off the sale of my Topanga Lawrence inflatable doll to a local soup kitchen in exchange for one night of your time and the power tool of your choosing. Hit me on the pager.
This ones starts off as a painal video. But much like me during a theatrical release that stars Nicholas Cage, that only lasts about 18 seconds. From there on it's all pleasure. And by pleasure I mean screaming for olive oil-based lubricants.
Snagging a girl off Tinder that can inhale an entire ballpark frank and doesn't look like she spent her last paycheck on a Costco-sized pack of them? that's #winning
After making a serious portfolio of ass-blaster sphincter punching videos with her boyfriend, this chick took her Pornhub channel down and vanished overnight. All the remains are boner confusing videos like this in the underbelly of adult sites.
What's that old saying again? You can lead a lesbian to the meat patch but you can't force her to fuck? That might be lost in translation. Maybe I should have paid more attention to Howard Stern during his 'exploit all the midgets' phase.
You don't have to be a Chad to experience double-fisted AIDS. But when I go STD Akimbo I seek out the discount bin for further savings. Ever get combo-blown by 2 girls with less teeth than a goldfish? Cause you can do it twice at these prices.
I originally thought this kind of situation wouldn't be a possibility outside of the family in Resident Evil 7. And then I remembered West Virginia exists. #justfacts
Most people see this and automatically assume the worse: Perma-trauma. I don't know man... somehow losing your v-card to Home Depot seems like an upgrade compared to whatever goblin is using his disability money to "tour europe".
Imagine having a slab of meat so heavy u dedicate an entire Pornhub account to marketing it. Barnum & Bailey will be in touch. Right after the Discovery channel.
13 straight minutes of girls that aren't allowed within 500 feet of a public library anymore. I'd suggest marathoning a jerk session but the amount of hype beast appearances might curb your erection until the Giants win another Superbowl.
The best part of keeping a travel-sized Thai-hole on your payroll? Budget banging no matter how "eco-friendly" your $17/night hotel room is for starters. Also AIDS.
Imagine that. A girl with 2 first names doing trailer park things and the footage coming back to bite her in the cornhole. Around these parts we refer to this phenomenon as "Monday Afternoon". But for Mary Beth "fornite dick" Haglin...
Arguable the hottest thing to crawl out of South America since Sofia Vergara's asshole on Cinco de Mayo. May your liquid artillery be plentiful and never-ending.
Good ole TikTok. It's like VINE, but more nudity and less dipshits that consider Call of Duty a rights of passage. Also it has Bree Louise's bare ass tit/vajee combo.
Next time that craving for a meat lovers thin crust hits you at 1:00AM, just think: This Becky could have been wrists-deep in your pepperoni. And then you wake up and have to wash the taste of Bangladesh out ur mouth. #sometimesitbelikethat
Probably just reached drinking age and is already setting the bar too high for the other Insta-THOTS to jump over. I don't know if I should be disgusted, or slide in those DM's and ask for group discounts. According to this footage, they do exist.
5+ minutes of implied family porn even Dr. Phil wouldn't touch. I think it's pretty safe to say 2020 has officially jumped the shark when it comes to sister swagging.
Blatant use of vaginas, Public shaming, High definition cameras -- this video is more well-rounded than the Grand Slam breakfast bill I ran out on this morning. The kicker is in the last video clip. Really brings me back to the glory (hole) days.
Think it's all freshman-year waistlines and Google Translating the cost of a Filipino corncobbing? Think again my stereotyped friend. Your sheckles would be better spent on your sister's braces. At least then you'd cum in under 24 hrs.
Book a 3-day trip to Thailand during any given season, and you're sure to end up face-to-clam with the kind of squash box a vending machine coin slot would be deathly jealous of. And this lady of the evening is no exception, except for...
Dare to browse the depths of publicly uploaded porn sites and this is the cesspool of shit you'll come across. The kind of footage that is not only questionable, but encouraged by the most degenerate hotdog connoisseur inside the Internet.
What's that old saying again? Once you go black you almost lose your uterus in a domestic street fight, get ejected from your tiki hut, and see the business end of a Ginsu knife? Because... that's exactly what happened here. Shit's fucked up yo.
![Rookie of the Year [for reals]](https://media.inhumanity.com/2020/01/rookie-of-the-year-f_1579697222_inhumanitycom-180x120.png)
