From this camera angle it looks like our dude is having sex with an eggplant. But after hearing this chunker bitch up more of a storm than an African American lady getting short changed at Golden Corral, I have been convinced otherwise.
Could this be a genuine proposition? Maybe. But what you should really be asking is: If Amy Schumer was to crowbar open her whisker biscuit, would the walls be comparable to the consistency of pulling apart a peanut butter sandwich?
Notiously known for general lewdness and defiling every piece of porcelain Wendy's makes available to the it's customers, #delightfulhug is a chameleon of many colors. But today's adventure reminds us when it was safe to flush in public.
Quite possibly the most reposted public nudity photo on the Internet finally has a source video. And yet, I'm still softer than ice cream on a Floridian summer day.
Never before have I seen a man do something so disrespectful with such finesse. Where there's shame, he shows confidence. Where there's shock, he brings warmth. And where there's romance, well... he really doesn't give a flying fuck.
If only he put in as much effort into technique, as he does masking his insecurity with low-testosterone rage, we might have a video worth filling a tube sock with.
Symptom #293 you need to end the all-turnip and MDMA diet: You develop the sex drive of a cinder block followed by a speech impediment that could end a marriage in Alabama. But rather than seek Dr. Phil's help, you do this instead.
Have you ever seen a professional cocksmith go from smiling to disgusted this quickly before? She's pretty good at hiding it but lemme tell you... it's all fun and games until you're face-to-gut with a man that has the endurance of a sloth.
"She used to advertise her services as "An Experience with Dani Daniels". After you made a deposit of $500 she would deem whether or not you are worth a "date" with her. If she liked you -- you were then required to pay a further $2000"
Apparently in 2019 you can maintain the body type of a commercial meat freezer and still drown in A-tier hooch. Remember when women had standards? i memba
and by "real" I mean the kind of on-demand tears that could snag an Emmy nomination right next to Captain Marvel. Or equally as interesting: "What I Flushed Down My Toilet Last Night" (that one was an independent documentary)
Another one of those videos where erections are left with more questions than answers. Why would they do this? How could they do this? And how many times has this public service been traded for pinto beans? I need closure mother fucker.
A night of Malibu Rum and bands that consider wind chimes an instrument can only end 1 of 2 ways. And while tits hanging off your family tree seems like a clear winner, I implore you to consider going Randy Savage on a bitch as an alternative.
There's something captivating about a woman that approaches seduction the same way Brock Lesnar intimates his wife before F5'ing her cornholio. It screams "i cum battery acid if you sledgehammer my clitoris just right". *wedding bells*
big warning: not even dragging your penis through an orgy of churro-flavored hispanic hoochie will make the mental images you're about to endure go away.
Is it real? Is it staged? Nobody ever really knows in the land of modern social media. Not only that, but you can expect your curiosity of who the fuck is cheating on who to peak before the video is over. Today is a learning day.
solid proof HERE edit: Seems it was temporary. But how this girl remains sexually aroused is beyond me. Multiple 8 hour days of being molested by a Menudo cover band seems like it would dry out the sandbox pretty fucking quick, ya feel me?
Women nowadays are scared to coast through a Dunkin Donuts drivethru without glazing their faces in 20 minute Youtube makeup tutorials. And then there's these girls... who run out of fucks to give after three Shirley Temples.
Coors Light connoisseur zones out her surroundings just long enough to focus on better things. I.E. getting a faceful of Kentucky's finest directly into her minge. I'm waiting for the sequel. The one where Lester makes a b-line for that b-whole.
Meet your new unreachable standard. Probably seen more transferable disease than a California protest crowd, yet she's still able to erect a nation of erections without trying. Don't be fooled by his lack of intensity - this is A+ tier flib flab.
