This is called "being in over your head". It happens when a Fortnite player realizes he can legally pay for hookers as long as he tells them it's for a porn shoot & films the entire thing. So he cashes in his v-bucks and raises all kinds of heck. #ninja
Want proof that brains can literally be fucked out? Look no further my lactose-intolerant friends. Meet Sky Avery. A special kind of girl that clearly needs more than one demonstration to learn her lesson. There's no coming back from this.
Call me old fashioned... but the idea of idling a Chaturbate room for hours on the off chance a Turkish call center employee will donate 16 cents to get another guy jerked off just seems counter-productive. Clearly social media was a mistake.
Infuckincredible. Unfortunately the Cheeto dust left in the comments under her videos must've scared her off from porn for good because this is her only known appearance. Around here we like to refer to that as pretending dignity exists.
Easy on the eyes, but her attention whoring could put a checkmarked Twitter account to shame. 1 dick? Expected. 2? Maybe after a round of wine spritzers - but in front of 1,200 strangers? A new personal best for Karen "Becky" Karenstein.
Most threesomes flatline before u can get the finally syllable out of your mouth. Not today. Side note: Anyone know if she has other vids? Specifically w/o Borat's cousin whose idea of teh nice sexy time is a penis softer than a bowl of yogurt?
Well, here it is. The Citizen Kane of "i watched a man more deteriorated than Mick Jagger's asshole fuck my mentally ill sister" videos. Actually... I'm not entire sure Mick Jagger is dead or not, but I'm positive he hasn't been alive since the '87 tour.
Less than 10 seconds of footage, yet so much to unpack here. Why is that guy's arm broken? What zoo animal is the guy in the background jacking off? Where is the health certificate being displayed to the public? Enhance, we must go deeper.
This is pretty damn cool. And I don't mean 'haha cool' like when Rosie O'Donnell claimed to be a female. This woman is focused, disciplined and can grease the shaft like she's doing a double shift at Jiffy Lube. #KEEPER
This is called Taking a Turkish Bike Ride. It happens when those dudes with above-average girth fail lubrication preparation. So they pump harder... til a breaking point hits. Somewhere between the 3rd & 4th second degree burns.
The ultimate persuasion (see: 40+ reasons) to get you down to the clinic and tested for everything from butt crabs to wiener warts. Seriously, if doctors hung photos like this on the wall I would predict a 37% decline in controllable STDs.
I'm a simple man. I can only imagine the sex life of an active farmersonly.com only has one dynamic to it. And we're fucking looking at it right now. #help
Maybe you've already seen this video? Anything teacher-sex related seems to spreads around the Internet faster than ranch dressing at a feminist rally. Just don't be bamboozled by the reasonably-priced outfit... this one might be legit AF.
She's got a White Claw hangover and doesn't give a single fuck. They flirt, she gropes, they record enough jerk material to start another collusion conspiracy. Shit's getting creepy... until Vladamir Pootin accidentally hits the STOP button.
If porn has taught me anything at all, it's that suburban middle-class white girls absolutely love having sex with their family members. Especially the ones with low self-esteem and awkwardly shaped teeth. Alabama rly changed the game.
I swear to fuck: If ranch dressing becomes a standard THOT lubricant thanks to Instagram hookers like this normalizing it, I'm going to do something drastic. Like limit my meat beating to 3 times a day, or eat broccoli. This one is on you, Rainey.
Never underestimate a girl in need of clout. You will leave the situation scratching your crotch like you just left a Persian bachelor party, but the stories are priceless.
Every once in a while porn life overlaps into real life. Let's just be glad this event was made possible without the assistance of Czechoslovakian accents, fake public transit and/or a petting zoo. You don't want to see the things I've seen man.
One Karen after another gets their safe spaces invaded by a degenerate clawing his way to 400 Snapchat followers... only to end up on this site instead lmao #fail
My gut tells me this is about as authentic as Joy Behar being properly medicated during business hours... but I do find her lack of fucks to give kind of endearing.
Is it really her sister? Is it a friend? Do you really give 2 cinnamon toast fucks as long as your wonder weasel gets 3 minutes of alone time with a tube sock of your choosing? Two of these questions may never get the answers they deserve...
What weighs 47lbs and gets demolished by African Americans on a weekly basis? If you answered Popeye's Family Feast meal, you're only getting partial credit.
Brodude pays more attention to PajeetWarrior20x3 spamming his chatroom than he does to his girlfriend's orifices, resulting in a no-scope sneak attack of her crude oil tank. And judging by her response... there won't be a second mistake.
I mean they're technically not wrong. I was just hoping for something more along the lines of trailer park hooker dirty, not trailer park marriage dirty. #disappointed
