Mark Zucklesberg Jr. gets air-dropped into their city for one mission and one mission alone: Lay down the kind of pipe Mike Haggar used to clean up an entire city. He may look like the Pythagorean theorem but trust me, this is no sex noob.
Don't laugh at this. Even if your soul is more decayed than Robert De Niro's asshole after a weekend visit to a naval base, it should still tell you that giggle time is officially cancelled until Ricardo is located and a proper sequel is made.
Around one minute in she dropped ^this gem of a line. Listen lady: If you think struggling to catch your breath while a man plunders your shit basket for blood diamonds is amazing, we really need to know how you celebrate Hanukkah.
Oh it's that girl again. You know... the only female that has danced on the line of fucking the mentally challenged for so long, you've now become attracted to people that shop at Walmart? We truly have nobody but ourselves to blame.
To say she's "in over her head this time" would be a bit of an understatement. Becky can't even get horizontal for more than 18 seconds before homeboy has her clitoris begging for mercy like me halfway into Venom last night.
Not since the Olsen twin eating disorders have I seen such misuse of a white girl. The niche for being beaten unconscious is a limited one, but you better fucking believe it's gatekeeped by Odette Delacroix. More abnormal erections HERE
She's no Scarlett Johansson. But what's lacking in popularity & genetics, she makes up for in... well, nothing. This chick is fucking useless. Those hams look like they were bolted on by an intern at LEGOLAND & I dont know why
LIFE LESSON #387: If your name ends in Gomez, Garcia or Gonzales - stay the fuck away from Craigslist ads with the words interesting trades in them. The 50 pesos are temporary. A disfigured esophagus is forever, BROTHER.
Antonio does in 1 minute what takes the customer service line at Walmart an entire afternoon to do: Completely crushes and eradicate a white girl's spirit. Don't get swindled by the thumbnail, you have not seen this version.
Well, shit lady I still got some life left in my signature edition Tom Sizemore MMA gloves if this is what ur into. I'd book 3 rounds right now, but I'm not sure you'd feel about traveling by car and not autonomous cuntmobile.
Frontal lobe ruthlessly attacked at the hands of a guy that considers Home Depot's hardware dpt EROTIC. No, this isn't my review for the newest ISIS video. It's the Citizen Kane of tardgasms, and you need to see it to the end.
Her stage 5 geyser is ready to erupt and not 1 fuck is given. She rubs, she tugs, she sands off the top layer of clit skin. It's going real good... until she brings the camshow to an abrupt halt by... well... you'll see LOL
She may be short on words, but those facial expressions definitely tell a story. Specifically 'this is my life now', 'i hope i get Instagram followers' and my favorite: 'why do i fuck like a piece of expired celery?'. P.S. NICE ASS
I'm linking to her entire gallery of videos, but if your interest is in the fallopian tube rearrangement I've selected for the thumbnail: FRET NOT. Your chlamydia-flavored soccer mom awaits you at the end of this link.
Three years of forcing porn producers to scotch guard everything in a 2-mile radius was no problemo. But ~60 secs of churning butt butter? GAME OVER. Ladies and gents: I present to you the enigma of Asian scrag hags.
What weighs 245lbs, has the lower body of a centaur, and enjoys turning female genitalia into mashed potatoes? This couple's hired gun... and he's not even at full power yet. More unidentifiable rectum sodomy HERE
44 fucking minutes of footage, and I still don't know if this girl is a dwarf or I'm getting hoodwinked my creative camera angles again. Luckily, my family-sized jug of coconut oil has run dry and I've already stopped caring.
Believe it or not, cornpocket sodomy is her favorite pastime. That crater has no fear, but 2:05 is where she crossed the line into WIFE MATERIAL. I vow to thee: Hottest Autistic I'd Lose a Custody Battle To. Run with it.
Husky pair of LGBTQHFMXZAER troglodykes get the utter shit slapped out of them after trying to post up in the wrong hood. Lesson Learned: When it comes to teaching gender equality, don't mess with the black people.
Crystal-Lynn Danni Shania Duggan takes one in the eye after making an all-too common mistake: Going down the N-road with a black woman. Sorry pal, but the result is always the fucking same. #RONDAROUSEY'D
Homeboy's packing nothing more than the average McNugget, so how did this happen? Accident? Medical condition? Previous sexual partners being all 9 members of the Harlem Globetrotters? We need answers dammit.