Getting a piece on the side is pretty straight-forward: Swipe right a few times on Tinder and let the self-loathing begin. Unless you're a dumbass rookie that thinks the 25 upvotes on your Pornhub page are worth the label ultrous skankarous.
7 (read: seven, as in the number of times I've been kicked out of Burger King for "unnecessary use of a urinal") acts of public lewdness not even I suggest copying, especially that last one. Let's just say: Raging Waters will never be the same again.
Most erections won't make it past that hobgoblin in the second video, but trust me - it gets better. Not season 4 into season 5 Game of Thrones better. More like final episode "thank fuck this is over, I need to shower this stink off me" better.
Maybe you've already seen this? Seems to have spread across the Internet net faster than gonorrhea during Burning Man weekend. It's part of the "doitforstate" challenge aka the only reason to pay for college. More public debauchery HERE
A Cardi B cocktail, Walmart toilet seats and discounted Rice-a-Roni at a swap meat: All things I'd commit to before slapping a ring on the talons of one of these harpies. Pay attention boys: One day it might be half of YOUR Amiibo collection.
Never underestimate the benefits of a 3-star YELP hotel that recycles toilet paper. You may leave with a more diseased crotch than all 97-years of Madonna's world tours combined... but the stories you'll be able to tell will be legendary. #facts
This is what happens when your competition pushes you too far. Bloodlines are contaminated, confused boners are erected - all because some kooky bitch couldn't keep her hands on her own tits. Watch the full show HERE
I'm all for refusing to spend the extra $7.00 on a 3 pack of Magnums, but for real: if she doesn't start scouting better company eventually she'll end up on Maury Povich... and then it's "MISSION FAILED" a la Metal Gear Solid.
Not since the days of blindly acquiring porn ala 5600 baud Limewire have I come across a female with such seminal fortitude. She's got standards brah. Know who doesn't have standards? THIS WIND TUNNEL. #sendhelp
Degenerate hoebag works feverishly to get sexually assaulted by a guy with more V's in his name than a Russian dictionary... and doesn't come close to succeeding. Enjoy your 0-star YELP review Victor Vahdeem Vyachvyeslahv!
Overt drug use, public squabblenecking, 60FPS cameras... this video is more well-rounded than the list of STDS on her Tinder profile. No kicker, but wat it lacks in surprises... it makes up for in the worst dirty talk you'll hear ever.
Only 2 people should never be caught doing the forbidden fox trot: Lindsay Lohan in her 'i'll snort Clorox' phase, and this girl. She's 19, anti-semen and dumber than a mailbox on Sunday. In other words: she was BORN for Efukt.
For a moment, I was starting to lose faith in a fat ass white girl's ability to control the male population. Then I was introduced to a pair of hips with the kind of width Boeing has failed to produce in 100 years. story here
This bitch is the Nelson Mandela of hooking up, but her BFF ain't having it. I thought I was a charitable dude after donating 2 1/2 bags of Hot Cheetos to my local soup kitchen. Thats diddly fuckin dick compared to this.
Downside of marrying prostitutes from russiabride.com? Every dick in a three-mile radius is using your 9-5 to unload some nut sac gazpacho on your S/O. And don't even get me started on those ridiculous storage fees.
Two mugs worth of Germany's finest lagers, and this ladies mouth turns into a portable glory hole. I'm talking blowjobs, community service style. So disgraceful you'd think she was running for president of the US and A.
Gotta like how amateur sex taping has rapidly evolved from basic vaginal perforation, into WHO CAN GIVE MY GIRLFRIEND AN STD 1ST. I can't even consider it porn. This is a stranger danger public service announcement.