Dude's got the length-to-girth ratio of a Chevrolet El Camino, and she's diving in genitals first. I haven't seen donkey exploitation this egregious since eating the wrong plate of brownies and accidentally watched Shrek 3 47 times in a row.
Pretty impressive tbh. Both him dragging that elephant sized anal probe around with him all day long, and her ability to survive the 1vs1 on DM-TheLongestYard.
Here's some free wisdom I picked up over the years; Never underestimate a man's determination to digitally reshape his cock. You'll just end up scratching your head and/or crotch like you just left a Persian strip club. iow: shit's fake yo.
A service bulletin for our lady viewers. Next time you feel like exposing your blown out tator tot to the general public, be sure to load up TikTok live first. Maybe you'll discover something you all lack; sophistication motherfuckers.
I'm down for giving your all... but she might be on another level. It seems the closer she gets to literal brain damage, the more lubricated she becomes (3:30)
I thought this was your everyday girl for a second, but it's none other than Alexis Crystal practically being fucked into early retirement. More brain damage [HERE]
In a society where your social status is measured by how many inches of BBC have ruptured your small intestine, you have to assume this Cathy is hovering somewhere in between girl-next-door and cashier at Super Walmart. Any takers?
How does one prepare for such a thing? I am only accepting answers that have nothing to do with authentic South American chimmichanga bowls & flag poles.
Today's menu? Uninsurable throat damage, the strongest rectum in Texas, more chain mail than Scott Steiner's closet, a recipe banned from 78% of Gordon Ramsay's restaurants and an erection even Penn and Teller can't explain to you.
Nine+ minutes of Emberlynn cosplaying as a stuffed holiday ham (southern style). Pretty remarkable performance, that's safe to say is not a once in a lifetime event.
Probably has more history of torturing his partners with bodily fluids than a San Fran hostel. I'd find his work, but the DNA results keep coming back as elephant.
Dude looks like he walked into a tattoo parlor and said "yes". Luckily he's hung like a brontosaurus to round out those brilliant life decisions. Not sure what's going on with that fucking nut sac though. Every step he takes probably has that monstrosity looking like a Basset Hound going head-first into a wind storm.
Today we go on a journey to a time forgotten. Shoutout to Julian for being a role model during my college years. That man's lust for turning fallopian tubes into tier-3 tuna casserole should have earned the Martha Stewart seal of approval.
Found this gem in comments: "He has basketball shorts on with no underwear and I am so distracted by his big fat monster dick print that I am on the ground from a hard punch before I know it and he is taking my phone and running away"
The facial expressions of generic_white_girl_background_cast_member_#2 are pretty remarkable. Almost as if she can't believe a dick with more limp in it than the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise could still achieve orgasmic penetration.
What exactly is the relationship between having the base requirements for your own Discovery Channel special & malnourished white women? We need answers.
Haven't seen that kind of disorientation in a white girl's eyes since Starbucks offered 2x points on a non-holiday. And much like inhaling $18.00 worth of overcooked coffee beans, a price will be paid for jamming that down her throat.
The downside to being hung like the exhaust pipe off a Chevrolet El Dorado? Literally nothing. All you have to do is let the beast out of it's cage and the women will magnetize to it like a herpes outbreak at a Playboi Carti concert.
This lady has a condition known as "fucking gullible". It's what happens when dad stops loving you before your 1st year of college, so you seek the refuge of alpha males that tenderize you like a $2.00 shank of London Broil. Manager's special.
Not since walking into an unlocked Red Lobster bathroom at closing time have I seen such disrespect for drug addicts. And just like the rest of the Internet watching, I am disgusted and have an unreasonable craving for buttered biscuits.
The setup is fake. Being hung like one of those fucking things from Attack on Titan is not. Someone better prepare the ice bath for Ava Dalush - It just might starve off some of the nerve damage her uterus is dealing with now. And forever.
There's two pleasures I simply will never get to enjoy in life. Both include using my genitals as a wrecking ball, but only one involves this impressive creature.
Imagine having a slab of meat so heavy u dedicate an entire Pornhub account to marketing it. Barnum & Bailey will be in touch. Right after the Discovery channel.
You can go ahead and brag about your 14 inches of lethal force all you want bruh. If you're not using it to turn all white vaginas into a bowl of Bob Evans Mashed Potatoes, it's about as useful as a hot shower is to this mentally stable female.
Consider the waistline of this overgrown toddler the rights of passage for any girl born below the equator. If you haven't been viciously attacked by Jordi's pork shoulder, then u can never label yourself as making it. sry, I don't make the rules.
