Slammin the salami is no easy task when you're choosing the barn door, and your costar is commonly mistaken for items in Home Depot's gardening section. But her? She'll never know the sweet kiss of General Tso's blast furnace ever again.
She ran roughshod on pre-OnlyFans Internet for like a week. Then disappeared as quickly as the stain between your cheeks materializes three bites into a Chicken Enchilada Burrito now being served after 2 AM at your local Taco Bell ® [more]
How many times have I said "mother of fuckin' AC Fucking Slater, this dude's custard cannon probably weighs more than her entire body" ? Ninety seven. How many times did I actually mean it in the literal sense? Zero. The streak is broken.
I remember the first time I came across Indica Flower. I feared the aroma of mango locking gel and overgrown granola bush was going to be overwhelming for anyone willing to costar. I couldn't have been more wrong. It was pineapple.
Might as well call her a lumberjack because these logs are getting split. And she's not afraid of having her temperature checked at the same time? All future STD testing requirements aside, this looks like a girl worth keeping on the faves list.
Damn I havent seen urban dominance like that since witnessing an inexperienced citizen cut in line during the illustrious Popeye's chicken sandwich craze of 2019.
Ever seen a woman question the elasticity of her vagina and her future as a NASA space engineer at the same time? Excellent. Now we have two things in common.
Contrary to appearance, leading role in a wiener apocalypse isn't their specialty. You could say her B.A. in theater was more wasted than season 4 of The Walking Dead. But that's a-okay when you can add "Panther Whisperer" to your resume.
If uve been gifted the dimensions of a jar of grammas old fashioned marmalade there's only two things left to do. So if you share the same genetics, take notes and consider this Plan C after you get banished from the batting cages for life.
I'm no expert in maintaining relationships with total strangers... but I do know a thing or two about self-medication: And you can't blame this one on the Nyquil.
Many moons ago, a girl by the name Spring Thomas single-handedly started the BBC-4-ME movement. Apparently this Melody Parker character was hellbent on outperforming her mentor, and has been in the trenches ever since. More [here]
Especially if u aren't stone cold sober during daylight hours. One wrong angle and you run the risk of turning her innie into an outtie. It's called "the heat seeking carmel farmer" and it's the #3 reason for divorce, right behind finances & Reddit.
Congratulations on managing to turn your penis into a freefall lifeboat. It's quite the achievement. Now if u could kindly drag that thing back to the petting zoo where it belongs it would be appreciated. Esmeralda seems to have hit her limit.
The Nintendo Switch is a hybrid video game console, consisting of a console unit, a dock, and two Joy-Con controllers. Although it is a hybrid console, Nintendo classifies it as "a home console that you can take with you on the go".
If your the kind of man that can enjoy white girls giving back to a marginalized community, then this is the video for you. Don't give a fuck about philanthropy? Then perhaps [another video showcasing women's talent] suits you better.
Never underestimate the sex drive of a B-tier TikToker w/ an A-level facial game. You end the week with an umbrella policy on your health insurance... but the stories you'll be able to tell ur bros in Roblox chat will be absolutely legendary.
First warning sign should have been suggesting Ziploc Big Bags as contraceptive. The 2nd was needing to pay for a day pass in order to enter the donkey exhibit.
34 pages worth of comments under this video, and 83% of them are complaining about condom usage instead of the obvious: Every time she climaxes, her facial expression resembles Miley Cyrus being disemboweled by a cactus. #payattention
Contrary to his appearance, Equestrian Magazine is not the future goal for this miniature Clydesdale. He still plans on saddling up though; only this time it's with the girl that took a devastatingly wrong turn at community college. #fatality
The most confusing thing about this is them leaving up the older videos of him going kamikaze mode with his under-average sized shrimp roll... then coming out of left field with this Amazon.com special on King Kong dong prosthetic. Weak.
