What in the fucking Doogie Howser, M.D. are we seeing here? I'd give him the big W for going the distance... but no amount of THOT slaying in the world is going to change the unfortunate genetic make up of that boogie board he calls a body.
The only thing more concerning than the Party City cake decorations is the way this screwball is talking during this entire thing. Is homie narrating his own adventure or? Now that I think about it, this behavior has always been habitual.
Probably about as legit as Texas Roadhouse employee's washing their hands, but I do admire her dedication to the scene. The facial expressions are on point, and that smoke stack is winking like George Costanza after going 1v1 with a grapefruit.
I was going to leave something pleasant here, then I came across one of the most porpospterous displays of OnlyFans shilling I've seen (this month). Sorry lady, I will be reserving my next post-clarity night of nutting for the Sears Catalogue.
Most chances of sexual activity flatline after being courted by Mike Myer's stunt double. Not in this guy's world. He refuses to let his disability hold him back and here I am wondering how I can translate all 4 Free Willy films into busting a nut.
19-years-old and doesn't know what a vagina is. But what they lack in anatomy classes they make up for in... well... nothing. Even combined these two are completely fucking useless & I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
After banging a good 85% of the Czech Republic's population, he finally broke unfamiliar ground: A mint condition hymen... and an uneducated one at that. She taps out quicker than me during the Baywatch movie.
This is what happens when your e-stock hits the shitter. Cherries popped, jealousies are fueled - all cause some goofy bitch can't quit her Overwatch addiction and just go pro already. Oh and, this isn't her 1st charitable act.
Don't let the lack of sunlight and all-Hot Pocket diet fool you: He's a vagina assassin. We all have a calling in life, and after fucking the basic math skills out of this professional, Stewart knows what his is. FULL SCENE
Luckiest 18-year-old this side of Germania gets a b-day gift for the ages... Silicone-free, rentable-by-the-hour vagina. Look out world, for the next 4.5 action-packed minutes belong to Clovis 'take no prisoners' Hofmann.
Going mach-17 on your clitoris in order to produce your first non-Harry Potter related climax? Cool. Seizing up like you got tazed in the asshole with a car battery? Not so cool. What in the fuck did I just ejaculate to?