Day 1 D-sucker foolishly assumes her job is over and breathes a sigh of relief. Only to be shot in the mouth with another wad of Esposito's gold reserve. A choice is needed: gulp, or ruin Macy's finest Egyptian bed sheets. Her response is expected.
Those deflated pigskins look pretty rough for a 20-something year old and the rest of her collection screams Double Wide Pride. Free tip m'lady; Spend less money on the "I NEED CUM" rubber stamps, and more on a fucking vacuum.
Leaking classified information? Murder? Shit, even International Dick Cricket Infestation would be on my list sooner than one Tinder gremlin subjecting herself to 31 separate 8-man gangbangs in the fucking barracks. Yet... here we are.
Every so often you come across a video that's so revolutionary, so authentic, it makes u wonder what the purpose of life really is. This is not one of those videos.
Can't imagine how many Walmart bed sheets had to be scrapped during her rookie years training for this moment. Clearly dealing with a team player here.
Imagine putting trust in a man that has been through this disaster and lived to tell the tale. Time for Alyssa to pack up those meatballs and reassess the future.
Keep an eye on the turd parked in the corner on the right side of your screen. After being denied physical contact multiple times his only recourse is a pity self-jerk as reality slowly punches him the face: Beavis & Butthead had a third friend.
If uve been gifted the dimensions of a jar of grammas old fashioned marmalade, then you may have never experienced this situation. Alpha Chads such as yourself would power through both this interruption, and the following domestic assault.
28 semesters of Botswanian dance theory paid for, and this is how you return the favor, Becky? You are now a disgrace to the once great town of Ballbag, Arkansas.
Normally I'd prefer my meat beat content to have as little to do with Al Bundy as possible. But Daddy Cockblock going for the jugular was just too good to pass up.
18-years-old and barely know what a clitoris is. But in this world, all that matters is the size of your churro... and proportionately speaking, dude got a THICC one. Emphasis on proportions. Looks like a banana glued to a mother fuckin toothpick.
Call him what you will: Pierre, The Machine, King Human Enema Conglomerate France Division - Just don't call him coherent. Seriously though - what the fuck language do I pick on Google to translate this assault of word diarrhea salad?
This one is a classic but I'll leave you with the following: "She was allegedly told she would win a holiday for taking part in the sick game but the "prize" later turned out to be a $5 drink with the same name.". Read the full story HERE!
I dunno man... this seems pretty predictable outcome to me. Shes got the tolerance of tungsten steel and these prick jobs are more annoying than a checkmarked Twitter account. Low effort fraud should have been expected.
What happens when you let a Call of Duty YouTuber run wild with Windows Movie Maker and semi-legal pharmaceuticals? Sometimes a digital masterpiece like this. Other times, a restraining order that would make Joe Biden blush.
Nothing quite spells C-O-L-L-E-G-E-L-I-F-E like a supposed Navy Seal turned male pornstar challenging 80+ CSUN students to a backyard beatdown whilst completely naked and armed with nothing but a slowly deflating boner. HAHA.
Pretty sure this one is a complete setup, but she's definitely been down this road before. The "a guy tried to pay me for sex in Canadian pennies so I punched his cock" is a reaction that can only be experienced - not learned. Ask me how I know.
Today we're going to learn 3 imporant things, so find your trapper keeper and listen closely: #1: Shamelessness is alive and well. #2: Usage of a pretty girl is negotiable. And #3: A guy shaped like GRU has seen more action than me today.
Pretty slick combination of fuckery and remorse going on here. side note: This site makes this kind of compilation video for every update they post (among all their other efukt-inspired edits) and that's not just cool... it's COOL AS ICE
From the clearance section of BackPage.com comes an escort sporting bed bugs, a wonky titty, and a heart of gold. Her entire scene is just one cluster fuck of fail.
18 & doesn't know what an orgasm is. But here, all that matters is the size of your imagination... and truthfully speaking, dude got a fat one. Emphasis on proportions. That clit looks like a deflated water balloon glued to straw...
