The biggest downside of following an all-turnip and gluten free water diet? Your soy boy body produces less testosterone than a chipmunk's nutsac. Speaking of nutsacs - take that fucking thing to biology class & leave it there, Foreman. srsly
It's all fun and games until you've had sexual intercourse with a pirate. Shit gets real when Captain Barbossa snaps off his prosthesis and makes a b-line for her v-hole... but there's no backing down here.
Everybody is born with a gift. Clearly his is having the Optimus Prime of genitalia. Watch in utter amazement as nothing more than a single-handed choke hold transforms his Oscar Mayer into a portobello mushroom.
She's pretty cute right up until her orgasm. Her face and noises kill the majestic boner she had created just seconds earlier. Also, don't worry, it's cool guys, they checked her identification card and we're free to fap.
Good call on the medical grade latex gloves. Those wheelchair-bound, mentally incapacitated boys are notorious for their legions of sexual partners. You just dodged herpes, AIDS, maybe even breast cancer.
This is wrong. More wrong than the time I defecated a weeks worth of BK value meals into the VHS case of Honey, I Shrunk The Kids and slipped it down a Blockbuster drop-box. Actually no, that was hilarious.