6 months into corona virus lockdowns and this guy may have very well come up with the best pastime yet. That is... until someone finds my recipe for Skittlebrau and starts hitting me with those sweet, sweet royalties. #callme Anheuser-Busch
Those deflated pigskins look pretty raw for a 22-year-old. 0:30 secs in she says her goal is to 'make it in the adult industry'. Lady, unless you're talking about fluffing, that journey ends today. Points for bringing Moesha for the ride tho.
Amateur Meme Porn: Sometimes it's about as exciting as an audio book of Ted Cruz customizing a value meal at Burger King. But throw in a girl with 2 moms and pays her vagisil bill with Venmo tips, and suddenly you got faps for days.
Certainly no Scarlett Johnanson. But what she lacks in beauty and natural born talent, she makes up for in... well... jack shit. Girl is literally useless. Sitting there acting like she's being forced to watch Amy Schumer do standup at gunpoint.
The best part of keeping a travel-sized Thai-hole on your payroll? Budget banging no matter how "eco-friendly" your $17/night hotel room is for starters. Also AIDS.
Apparently semi-professional fornicators have acquired some sort of dignity? Back in my day that hotel room door would have been unlocked, opened and inviting all migrants to participate in the three-handled family grudunzle.
Don't be misled by the Victoria's Secret attire and willingness to film. She may resemble that waitress at Denny's you wanted to fuck in dad's El Camino... but trust me - there isn't enough blackmarket dick pills to hammer through this one.
You just can't go back after this. She'll forever be known as the super THOT of Bumblefuck Alabama. She's essentially a walking, twitching Reddit activist for open sexuality... yet stays in good spirit knowing this vid is going straight to IG.
Today we learn three crucial things, so grab your colored pencils and pay attention: #1: Voyeurism is alive and well #2: Sexual misconduct is always negotiable. And #3: Lifetime bans from Macy's aren't a big deal. Lets get it.
Hey, no one said you had to like it Becky. Just sit back, keep a firm grip on those kneecaps and think about all the McChickens you'll be able to buy as soon as you're done. That's what gets me to the end of my weekdays.
Everybody has a gift. His is convincing solid 7's to double up on his bald headed field mouse while simultaneously crossing sexual orientation lines. A beautiful moment before being dropkicked back to the strawberry fields.
Face of a succubus and she knows her way around a gopher hole. Rarely do I admit this, but this chicky is 1 enema away from a Chipotle burrito bowl on my dime. Unfortunately, my desert rose isn't bloomed enough for her taste.
Before today I was absolutely certain of two critical things: 1: Blondes are inherently on the spectrum for autism. And 2: Cats are born assholes. Looks like my opinions have officially been reinforced. See her live HERE
I'll wager 5 rupees that this hooch had no clue she'd be in the danger zone today. You can literally pinpoint the moment of regret in her eyes. CLASSIC.
After 12+ mins of stuffing the muffin, she starts crying about the finale. Equally as entertaining are her facial expressions and choice of vocabulary... with hits likes 'do i have to taste it?' and my personal fave: 'ghrghaghbokad'.
Infuckincredible. I bet youd slurp the corned beef hash from her Irish shithole, just to be in the same room as those vitamin-loaded honeydews. I'd even offer a swipe of my coveted Subway loyalty card just for a peek.
Self-proclaimed thick whisperer and hustler of da hood, Tyrone Brown goes to pound-town on a token BBW-in training with commentary the likes you've never heard outside of an episode of Maury Povich. Just listen.
This girl's resilience is certifiably insane. Submissive, low-maintenance personality too. I want to hug her. I want to punch her. I want to spoon all 74 zesty flavors of Ben & Jerry's out of her asshole. In that order.
He's got a unique look. Could almost pass for a greeter at an Aspergers-only Hollister. But the compliments end there, cause this being online only sunk his stock faster than Brexit. I can smell the suicide note from here.
The face of a virgin paired with a twat that's seen the blunt end of a piranha. Sorry lady, but if you expect me to believe this fantasy, you're gonna have to pick yourself up a sewing kit and get to work. Immediately.
Some will click this and see a beautiful human being. Others will bathe their routers in bleach and set a hard drive on fire. But me? All I see is the only movie star that can give herself 3 thumbs up. Call me Mr. Positive.
