My gut instinct tells me this is about as probable as a Lou Diamond Phillips film getting theatrical distribution... but I do find her nervous moans and heavy breathing compelling. What do you think?
Date May 8th, 2013 Views 182151
Good call on the medical grade latex gloves. Those wheelchair-bound, mentally incapacitated boys are notorious for their legions of sexual partners. You just dodged herpes, AIDS, maybe even breast cancer.
Date December 14th, 2012 Views 173537
and check them titties. Looks like 2 grapefruits topped with disproportionate amounts of Nickelodeon Gak. And to think... those funbags probably set her back 7k, or in whore economics - roughly 47 rimjobs. Jeepers.
Date August 30th, 2012 Views 90239
This is wrong. More wrong than the time I defecated a weeks worth of BK value meals into the VHS case of Honey, I Shrunk The Kids and slipped it down a Blockbuster drop-box. Actually no, that was hilarious.
Date April 10th, 2012 Views 286682
Damn, and I thought a Tara Reid had a fucked up pair. The English vocabulary lacks proper adjectives to describe these tits so I'll leave you with an anology: 20% Maggie Gyllenhaal, 80% dairy cow.
Date June 9th, 2011 Views 93799
Chick gets gangbanged after being encased in a box of cement, with holes left for each orifice. Pretty sure that's fake as fuck but bonus points for the novel idea.
Date August 30th, 2010 Views 106236
Dude gets his dick sucked by a big titted tarantula from outer space. This is the hottest shit I've seen all week. Beastiality porn FTW.
Date August 7th, 2010 Views 47813
Naaah. Clearly he's just in deep thought - pondering what that bitch's sweaty asshole might smell like on Summer afternoon. I'm leaning towards guacamole. Organic.
Date April 2nd, 2010 Views 136727
It's a clitoris. Not a Stretch Armstrong doll. Keep at it and your twats gonna start to look like Joan River's face.
Date December 7th, 2009 Views 111660
Rohypnol. 9 out of 10 date rapists recommend it.
Date August 26th, 2009 Views 158801
RAP, not RAPE. You probably assumed I just made a typo and clicked without hesitation. Don't feel bad. It's an understandable mistake. After all, the words "Russia" and "rape" go together like peanut butter and jelly.
Date August 2nd, 2009 Views 108410
Drop by Arbys and order the Beef N' Cheddar. Proceed by removing the premium roast beef and passing it through your paper shredder. Retrieve all remnants and carefully mold em together. Bingo! You now have a 1:1 replica of this woman's vagina. Class dismissed.
Date April 12th, 2009 Views 104386
That's about as bad as eating your own shit... except eating your own shit doesn't make you gay. Scat for the win.
Date April 1st, 2009 Views 110554
Do yourself a favor and skip this one. Seriously. I hope his cock gets emphysema and rots off.
Date February 5th, 2009 Views 103930
Well, they picked the wrong vagina to duplicate. More pink please and less roast beef.
Date October 24th, 2008 Views 100501
Yeah and I want a bigger dick but that aint gonna happen lady. You're just gonna have to learn to be happy with what god gave you - a few wedges of aged roast beef between the legs.
Date October 15th, 2008 Views 99742
This is what happen when your only sexual companion is your pet. When you finally fuck a real woman you just can't handle it. Hmmm this actually explains the 'squeal like a pig' scene out of Deliverance. I'm on to something here.
Date October 8th, 2008 Views 110908
Sorry, unfortunately her asshole is booked solid for the next 30 minutes... but her vagina on the other hand is currently availabe. Sir I must remind you this is quite a rarity, I suggest you go with the 2 for 1 special while it still lasts.
Date October 7th, 2008 Views 110049
