Perhaps "happy" isn't the word I want to use, as it enforces the idea that shoving $17 worth of Party City supplies up your asshole is a good thing. All that's missing is a Mariachi band that does Bon Jovi covers.

Date: 03/23/15 | Views: 78802 | Category: Objects

Her ability to keep objects inside is on par with my ability to not masturbate during the end credits of a Nicholas Cage movie. (See: None) NASA studied gravitational pull for decades & never got these results.

Date: 12/09/14 | Views: 102652 | Category: Objects

Cam whore #281 has an unintentional FML moment after realizing her 9 inch friend has swam into deeper waters. Luckily she's prepared: Squat, push and cross your tits the burrito bowl doesn't come out with it.

Date: 10/21/14 | Views: 140176 | Category: Objects

2005 -a forgotten era when McNuggets could be had for a buck & the director of The Matrix still had a penis. It's also the year that began selling dildos, so why the fuck is she riding a Conair Blowmaster 10?

Date: 06/18/14 | Views: 946955 | Category: Objects

The head of a Hitachi is shaped like a doorknob. READ: not something you stick up your asshole. But when you have Brazilian butt implants and a $11 spray-on tan, a prolapse isn't a concern. It's destiny.

Date: 06/02/14 | Views: 172904 | Category: Objects

Some women need dildos to get off. Others need fists. And then there's Shirley Stankpuss, who takes no less than a traffic cone to reach her O. That's a kidney buster for sure.

Date: 08/07/11 | Views: 141179 | Category: Objects

HOLLY HANNA puts her stink box on the line with her state of the art fuck machine. It certainly brings in the tips but I worry for the well being of her shit hole. She's on a fast track to a life of Depends.

Date: 07/15/11 | Views: 153307 | Category: Objects

Damn. A whole bottle of Boone's Farm is crammed up her twat and she's practically yawning. I think she was Nadya Suleman in a former life.

Date: 10/18/10 | Views: 106036 | Category: Objects

Can't say it's the first time I've seen a yellow Squash misued as a sexual aid but that's definitely one of the bigger ones. Perhaps she's prepping for a certain farm animal too?

Date: 05/03/10 | Views: 109593 | Category: Objects

Assholes really aren't supposed to bend that way. I have a feeling the next shit she takes is gonna come out looking like a retarded starfish.

Date: 02/02/10 | Views: 122857 | Category: Objects


Date: 08/05/09 | Views: 110401 | Category: Objects

Neat trick but I fear that might void the warranty. Play it safe and stick with stick 2 liter Mountain Dew bottles. Always feels good to recycle.

Date: 06/30/09 | Views: 114645 | Category: Objects