Another historical moment that turned Pierre Woodman into the Terminator we know him as today. These deteriorating VHS tapes really do belong in a museum.
Barely 120lbs covered in chicken grease, has the anal cavity stronger than Cyber Truck glass and doesn't believe in safe words, all while being serenade by the smooth stylings of Rammstein. I can't... I can't imagine a more beautiful thing.
Yeah okay buddy. This part time slam pig is about as much a cheater as I am an advocate for veganism. (hint: there's only 1 green in my house and it says Fruit of the Loom on it) Now call mom and let her know I finally recognized your work.
Just a tip: When the butthole is tight enough to take your blood pressure, a little pregame ritual might be wise. She's Bella Gray and anorexic gerbils probably produce more waste volume than she does with that trash compactor of a b-hole.
Dressed like a common house pet and her asshole looks like it graduated from a 3-month course in sign language judging by those contractions after the 9:00 mark. Go ahead & tell me again why you aren't buying dating girls from Moscow.
An understandable request... until you hit the 2:50 mark and realize something has gone terribly wrong. I'd be a little less concerned about cornholing, and more worried about whatever safari animal got ahold of that thing before her.
Pretty fkin amazing proportions to be honest. Any man would willingly gorge the frappuccinos out of her symmetrical shitbasket just to say they were in the same room as her tits. You can go ahead and consider your penis retired my good man.
South of the border girl is a solid 7/10, and is just trying to keep the electricity on. Which means she has to become an all-inclusive pin cushion for the cinnamon twist fuck chicken brothers to meet their 14 hour/day Chaturbate quota. #sad
A question for the gentleman who choose this method as an introduction to anal for their significant other: What exactly is your pregame vetting process? Seems to me locking her into the floor keeps you in the soft serve blast zone at all times.
My gut tells me soon after this video finished, her status as "loyal girlfriend" was about as believable as the Fast & Furious franchise stopping after the 47th movie.
Found this gem in comments: "He has basketball shorts on with no underwear and I am so distracted by his big fat monster dick print that I am on the ground from a hard punch before I know it and he is taking my phone and running away"
If farm-faced white women monetizing their anal virginity is any indicator of a recession, I'd say we're right at the tip of an iceberg that will make the dotcom bubble look like like a joke. Expect a lot more of this until Jim Cramer capitulates.
Like my reaction after hearing Oprah Winfrey wants to run for president in 2024, you can literally see fear in her eyes. Emphasis on the :24 sec mark with the introduction of a move I can only refer to as The Turkish Can Opener.
This is called Taking a Swedish Bike Ride. It happens when those dudes with above-average girth fail lubrication preparation. So they pump harder... til a breaking point hits. Somewhere between the 3rd & 4th second degree burn.
This condition is known as 'high maintenance'. It happens when dad stops loving you before ur 1st year of college, so you seek the refuge of sigma males that don't know the difference between ur sphincter and a Rocky Balboa training montage.
Like making it past the 7 min mark of the new Matrix movie, Sandra realizes a mistake has been made and there's no refunds. Now stitch that mud box up and get back in the game, BonERGuy67_IDAHO just dropped $5.00 worth of tokens.
From this angle it appears she's fucking an eggplant. But upon closer inspection you'll realize that's non-other than the shitter fritter himself: Woodman. aka The Machine. aka the man who lived through more STDs than all the 1970s combined.
Kinda like the Jigsaw franchise, this went from slightly intriguing to 'it's time to stop' pretty damn quick. Tipping point involves a cherry-popper story told in the most soothing voice I've heard since Bob Ross. 10/10, would bust nut again.
Not exactly building an impressive resume when 2 1/2 inches of Alabama's finest sends you running for the Neosporin. This might interfere with her five year plan.
Beyond 19-years-old and doesn't know proper rectal entry positions. But what she lacks in anatomy, she makes up for in... well... nothing. The future spinal ruptures tell me we won't be seeing the sequel to "Karens Krapper: Volume 1.5" this year.
What are the last 3 words you want to hear after getting naked in front of your crush? If you answered "is that helman's?"; you're wrong. But points will be added.
Short list of things I value in life: Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Care and dedicated females like this one in particular. Tack on the fact that she can handle more wang than a Chinese phone book and we may be talking literal perfection here.
Another entry for the museum of unintentional rectal breaching. 3.5 mins of backdoor bruising that white people should only experience inside the CHAZ zone. Only diff is the people in this vid actually put meat inside their bodies lol.
