Dressed like a common house pet and her asshole looks like it graduated from a 3-month course in sign language judging by those contractions after the 9:00 mark. Go ahead & tell me again why you aren't buying dating girls from Moscow.
An understandable request... until you hit the 2:50 mark and realize something has gone terribly wrong. I'd be a little less concerned about cornholing, and more worried about whatever safari animal got ahold of that thing before her.
Pretty fkin amazing proportions to be honest. Any man would willingly gorge the frappuccinos out of her symmetrical shitbasket just to say they were in the same room as her tits. You can go ahead and consider your penis retired my good man.
South of the border girl is a solid 7/10, and is just trying to keep the electricity on. Which means she has to become an all-inclusive pin cushion for the cinnamon twist fuck chicken brothers to meet their 14 hour/day Chaturbate quota. #sad
A question for the gentleman who choose this method as an introduction to anal for their significant other: What exactly is your pregame vetting process? Seems to me locking her into the floor keeps you in the soft serve blast zone at all times.
My gut tells me soon after this video finished, her status as "loyal girlfriend" was about as believable as the Fast & Furious franchise stopping after the 47th movie.
If farm-faced white women monetizing their anal virginity is any indicator of a recession, I'd say we're right at the tip of an iceberg that will make the dotcom bubble look like like a joke. Expect a lot more of this until Jim Cramer capitulates.
Only time I've seen self-harming determination this strong was in the /terraluna subreddit. And much like her ability to hold in a solid shit, I think it's time to pack it up and admit defeat boys. disclaimer: This is not financial advice [you retard].
Like my reaction after hearing Oprah Winfrey wants to run for president in 2024, you can literally see fear in her eyes. Emphasis on the :24 sec mark with the introduction of a move I can only refer to as The Turkish Can Opener.
This is called Taking a Swedish Bike Ride. It happens when those dudes with above-average girth fail lubrication preparation. So they pump harder... til a breaking point hits. Somewhere between the 3rd & 4th second degree burn.
This condition is known as 'high maintenance'. It happens when dad stops loving you before ur 1st year of college, so you seek the refuge of sigma males that don't know the difference between ur sphincter and a Rocky Balboa training montage.
Like making it past the 7 min mark of the new Matrix movie, Sandra realizes a mistake has been made and there's no refunds. Now stitch that mud box up and get back in the game, BonERGuy67_IDAHO just dropped $5.00 worth of tokens.
From this angle it appears she's fucking an eggplant. But upon closer inspection you'll realize that's non-other than the shitter fritter himself: Woodman. aka The Machine. aka the man who lived through more STDs than all the 1970s combined.
Kinda like the Jigsaw franchise, this went from slightly intriguing to 'it's time to stop' pretty damn quick. Tipping point involves a cherry-popper story told in the most soothing voice I've heard since Bob Ross. 10/10, would bust nut again.
Not exactly building an impressive resume when 2 1/2 inches of Alabama's finest sends you running for the Neosporin. This might interfere with her five year plan.
Beyond 19-years-old and doesn't know proper rectal entry positions. But what she lacks in anatomy, she makes up for in... well... nothing. The future spinal ruptures tell me we won't be seeing the sequel to "Karens Krapper: Volume 1.5" this year.
What are the last 3 words you want to hear after getting naked in front of your crush? If you answered "is that helman's?"; you're wrong. But points will be added.
Short list of things I value in life: Cottonelle Ultra Comfort Care and dedicated females like this one in particular. Tack on the fact that she can handle more wang than a Chinese phone book and we may be talking literal perfection here.
Another entry for the museum of unintentional rectal breaching. 3.5 mins of backdoor bruising that white people should only experience inside the CHAZ zone. Only diff is the people in this vid actually put meat inside their bodies lol.
Her dirt tulip is at maximum pucker, and smaller than the cock of an Eskimo in February - so what the fuck was she thinking? And more importantly, where is the apology video of him trying to justify this in front of a 240p TikTok green screen?
The sequel in one website's crusade to help the world with an unspoken problem. The Machine is back, and this time; no cornhole will be spared. 1st VIDEO HERE
Most definitely not the first time this hypebeast has staged an attack on Cornhusk Island, and clearly it's not the last. Feel free to experiment next time man - maybe deposit a Twinkie before going dark? It's called The Moist Gremlin. I invented it.
Some of these clips are pretty dated. Others aren't. But all are certain to increase blood pressure to your bearded war hammer in a timely fashion. I guarantee it.
