2004: Facebook launches for the first time, Ashlee Simpson jigged her way into irrelevancy and this jovial mother fucker was using his power of aspergers to give second stringers a reason to show up on set. I'm talkin half girth, half Pokemon.
idk what kind of Amish paradise rules they agreed to before making the match, but this shit doesn't work for me brother. Interesting loophole though. It's kind of like tax harvesting, where the people watching are the only ones getting fucked.
"Goblin mode" is a slang term for unapologetically self-indulgent lazy behavior that rejects societal norms, often involving staying in pajamas, eating junk food and generally embracing a messy comfortable existence and release of pressure.
Velma Gigglebush may look like a non-threat, but don't let it fool you. Behind those bifocals and semi-sanitized vajeen exists a girl that would power fuck your boyfriend/husband/mazda miata if given 3 consecutive unsupervised mins alone.
The dude behind the camera has survived genital-disfiguring diseases amidst bulldozing through 27% of the pacific north west's bucket of baddies. Maybe Gorlock needs to make a cameo next time. That's the secret ending we all earned.
As far as historic rope throwing content goes, this has to be somewhere in the top 10. Before breaking tha internet was an overused buzzword to shill celebrity shit slop, this Slavic masterpiece was Double-D'ing her way to legendary status. #win
Honestly, I dig the vibe. She's 1 part goth, 27 parts mental patient. Make direct contact with her cervix at just the right velocity and she starts throwing the kind of rival gang signs that would get your ass smoked in Rancho Cucamonga.
Self-filming, self-uploading and self-promoting is crazy fuckin work when you got a wedding ring collecting dust on the Walmart end table. Having the phenotype of an Elden Ring skeletal archer may or may not have led to this decision tho.
4 outta 5 physicians will advise against this behavior. But a lifetime of chronic digestive complications doesn't really seem to concern these prodigies. Big risks = more clout. And more clout = more fashionably retarded short form content.
A rare fourth stage does actually exist, but the video wasn't long enough to see if the barn door entrance was supplied with a proper dressing of WD-40 or not.
Probably clickbait but it's 2026 and I've stopped assuming people aren't insane enough to rocket punch a fistful of their own family member's bush on a major highway. Dread it. Run from it. Degeneracy arrives all the same. And now it's here.
Staring at wood paneling as her middle-aged leather cheerio permeates the air with the aroma of Newport Menthols and Skittles. That's the life we all strive for.
Gotta respect a man that can make a white girl stop in her tracks faster than a Target clearance sale by simply removing his Nike Dri-FITs, and hangin' brain.
If that isn't the look of a woman that's said "i've used dijon mustard as lubricant" at the table during Thanksgiving dinner, you can slap my bag and call me Shirley.
1 part hypebeast, 19 parts herpes simplex two. Surely my user base doesn't need a PSA on the reasons not to raw dog a girl that considers Fruit Stripe gum a luxury item. But just in case I've given too much credence, do not try this one at home.
The originator of "hyper squirting" back in the early days of MFC, XFuukaX is not only still active but she's pissing her pants on a pay-per-video basis now. #bidness
This was voted the #2 reason to wake up Saturday morning with an unexplained rash in between your ass cheeks. Only falling short to raw dogging The Big Arch.
Turns out this inter-gender tag team have discovered a new meta to pollute the pages of xvideos with: Simulated "oops all anal" videos. More tomfoolery [here]
An activity normally practiced by people that get so high they try to vacuum their own shadows. Clearly this one is no stranger to surprise trips to the gynecologist.
Tinder is integrating AI to reduce "swipe fatigue" and enhance user experience through personalized matching and improved safety. Key features will include "Chemistry" (AI-driven daily recommendations based on persona/photo analysis)
If uve been gifted the dimensions of a jar of grammas old fashioned marmalade, then you may have never experienced this situation. Alpha Chads such as yourself would power through both this interruption, and the following domestic assault.
