Turning a non-Snorlax into wifey, only to find out she's been doing THIS while you're on the clock. Literally a top 3 reason amphetamines are so popular again.
If that isn't the look of a woman that's said "i've used dijon mustard as lubricant" at the table during Thanksgiving dinner, you can slap my bag and call me Shirley.
Downside to living with a depraved girl from Frogballs Arkansas? Every time you get half a hard-on, it's time to perform. But the produce is usually fresh so... win.
Started at the bottom, now we're here. And by here I mean vigorously being tested for sexually transmitted diseases because Derrick from the Walmart parking lot insisted on not using any form of protection during his big moment.
Havent seen that kinda disorientation in a white girls eyes since Starbucks offered 2x points on a non-holiday. And much like willingly inhaling $18 worth of over cooked coffee beans, a price will be paid for accepting a duel with this goliath.
If only the avg girl put this much effort into carving out an a-hole that belongs in a museum, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reese's peanut butter cups this weekend. E-books will be written about this.
Honestly, I dig the vibe. She's 1 part goth, 27 parts mental patient. Make direct contact with her cervix at just the right velocity and she starts throwing the kind of rival gang signs that would get your ass smoked in Rancho Cucamonga.
Not since witnessing a mid-moshpit hookup during an Alestorm concert have I seen a love story worth sharing. And much like those adventurous un-showered creatures, Karen's performance and smell won't be forgotten any time soon.
You've heard that one before. But it's never been so accurate after seeing >five consecutive minutes of the world's most undesirable creatures run wild in their natural habitat. If anything at all proving that Valtrex should be a public company.
If there's anything these South American floozys do right with their 3600 baud Internet and flip phone cameras, it's this. Pack ur favorite anti viral and take notes.
[this] professional milk smuggler has once again proven nothing more than a gifted set of genetics can and will turn the Internet on it's fucking head. [more]
18 semesters of Namibian dance theory paid, and this is how you return the favor to ur parents, Becky? u r a disgrace to the once great town of Ballbag, Nebraska.
Look closely and you'll notice the dive bar bathroom graffiti tattoo coverage isn't even at 30%. Unfortunately that means the future will involve heavy machinery.
Believe it or not this was actually voted the number two reason to wake up Saturday morning with an unexplained rash in between your ass cheeks. Only falling short to raw dogging Taco Bell's new Cantina Chicken Mexican Pizza.
I get the "i gOtTa MaKe SuRe tHe ThUmbNaiL hAs tO lOoK LiKe i hAvE BRaIn dAmaGe" bullshit, but could you have spared us the fucking HVAC tape across her mouth? I'd like to keep my erection as far away from Home Depot as possible.
Self-proclaimed Pokemon master adds another accolade to her resume in the form of BRAIN MELT VAGINAL LEAKING O-FACE. An unfortunately accurate title in what will surely be the biggest "should I call FEMA?" video you'll see today.
Pretty fuckin bold move to do this on public transportation. But while the Ebay bidding war rages on for that wet spot she left behind, consider this; women.
Gotta admit; That's some impressive distance being covered with each wad. If the rumors of breakdancing being replaced with this at the next Olympics games is true, we may be witnessing a gold medal contender here. Bring on the sponsors.
30 seconds in and two things will become glaringly apparent: 1) We've been grossly mislead about Alabama's tourist attractions. And 2) At least 50% of the people who seek these out have ejaculated to lawn mower maintenance videos.
Melody Marks. Long time pornstar turned JAV icon hit Japan like a tornado, fucking everything with a pulse. Now she moonlights as some sorta [findom lesbian online] In other words; gaijin have been in shambles ever since [more]
idk what kind of Amish paradise rules they agreed to before making the match, but this shit doesn't work for me brother. Interesting loophole though. It's kind of like tax harvesting, where the people watching are the only ones getting fucked.
Like the thunderdome, a Woody casting means two enter but only 1 leaves with a working sphincter. The following rush to Costco's adult diaper section is usually a dark day in the victim's life... but not today. Double BOOM. Double DOOM. [more]
