Some women need a good meal and a goodnight text to reach their sexual peak. But this one? Just one half-assed request has her pastrami butterfly goopafied. Not a single phone in sight. Just 2 people living in the moment. I kinda respect it.
The amount of women that wait in que to get bulldozed by this maniac is actually surprising. What could be done in the privacy of your own home with a gas generator and jumper cables, has been brought to public view. In high defs.
Staring at wood paneling as her middle-aged leather cheerio permeates the air with the aroma of Newport Menthols and Skittles. That's the life we all strive for.
No way is that title authentic, but we're at the ass crack of 2026 so nothing is really surprising. Appraising your significant other's oral cavity at less than a bag of expired bagels might actually be a net positive to the gene pool at this point.
The more this behavior becomes mainstream, the harder it's going to be to come back from. Just ask the portfolios of any person that's posted on r/wallstreetbets.
idk who she is but the checklist has already been maxed out: Puts out on date #1. Maintains a consistent diet of cabbage, and has absolutely no respect for the scotch guarded comforter you borrowed from gram. Are those wedding bells?
Nothing has been as generous to the amateur porn community as the fish eyed camera lens. Joe Sixpack and his homie Mayonnaise Mike end up looking like people pay a cover charge to feed them at a petting zoo. But we know the truth.
Where the fuck has she been practicing that technique and are they still allowed within 100 yards of Thanksgiving dinner? These 2 things seem to be intertwined.
Bobbi Jo Tammy Crystal Trixie-Lynn may be one ankle monitor away from her next CashApp begging video on TikTok, but today it's all about 'maykin khantent'
That's not an actual quote from the video, but it should be. It seems Susana is having a little trouble with broski's maximum depth potential. And by trouble, I mean the kind of organ rearrangement Art The Clown would be impressed by.
The amount of middle-aged women trying to relive their glory days of slobbering dong adjacent to marked down summer fashion pieces, is way too damn high.
Is there a third Bella twin I've been unaware of this entire time? I'm getting some serious WWE vibes from this performance. Ya know; mid-card acting, main event placement and knowing she probably banged John Cena somewhere in the past.
It's not every day someone's video title has me scratching all three nuts in bewilderment. But "Dumb Flashlight with Cow Tits"? Not even all 32 volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica is any help & I find my disappointment is immeasurable.
Using rectal sex as a vehicle to suffer more brain damage than a lifetime of galaxy gas + scrolling TikTok is a tad concerning. It may be time for reevaluation.
Looks like a one and done because I've never seen another video of her before. Which is a damn crying shame. The consequential followup of her getting samoan dropped inside a Del Taco handicap stall would've been worth the wait.
Ya know what... when you're stuck with gynecomastia and the endurance of a Snorlax, scoring a woman of this caliber needs to be celebrated. Congratulations.
30 secs in and 2 things have become apparent: 1) I've been grossly mislead about Nebraska's tourism attractions. And 2) at least 50% of the people in comments below this have ejaculated to fully clothed women in the Nordstrom catalogue.
"Sydney Sweeney is not currently engaged; she and her fiancé Jonathan Davino called off their wedding in March 2025. The couple, who were engaged in 2022 after reportedly dating since 2018, have decided to go their separate ways."
My gut tells me soon after this video finished, her status as "loyal girlfriend" was about as believable as the Fast & Furious franchise stopping after the 47th movie.
Nothing gets a 40-something moist quite like BOGO sales at their local Target. Couple that with 2008's finest fashion choices and you got a recipe for the craziest future Facebook chain posts. Mall parking lots will never be the same.
Easily the most deplorable attempt at infidelity to ever grace my 11" Amiga computer monitor [this week]. And that's coming from a human being who's seen more than 23 consecutive mins of an Dwayne Johnson movie. My opinion counts.
