Symptom #27 that you just graduated from tasteless MILF meat, to full fledged community service: You find yourself with 15 minutes between PTA meetings and instead of preparing for it, you roll the dice and smash sum butt hash instead.
Best part of having less shame than the 2000 Spanish Paralympics Basketball team? Walking around half mast is no longer for the pizza delivery man to enjoy alone. That last dude clearing two floors and sprinting half naked though? lmao
The complete lack of bass-boosted XM radio and used hypodermic needles tells me this didn't happen in New Jersey. In other words; She probably gonna be aight.
It's almost like they're trying to bring back the golden days of Bang Bus back to the masses. But it's not quite there yet. Advice? Less classes at the Hulk Hogan school of acting. More diverse locations. Like a glory hole, or Dollar Tree perhaps.
Definitely a more pleasant experience than my first time witnessing this behavior in the butcher's line of a Whole Foods. Apparently expiration dates are negotiable.
If this man's idea of romance is a metaphor for the west being able to raise those population numbers, I'd say this is proof we are buttfucked. Unironically of course.
hmm. either our male protaganist has been studying the teachings of master Splinter, or me thinks she's been down this hazelnut covered highway before.
"I wonder what happened to that up and comer chick [Kristen Scott] that was super popular at one time? She just vanished. I should look her up and find-. oh."
Installing the "deprive myself of oxygen until I have the IQ of a bowl of spaghetti-o's" expansion pack may not be for everyone, but it's unquestionably a challenge.
Remember when a person could catch a few snoozes without fear of a psuedo family member treating their body like a communal dart board? Because I do not.
Believe it or not, before the OnlyFans era and studios jumping on the step-sister train; a man that looked like a dislocated thumb could actually convince his girlfriend to act like a semi-functioning sibling and get the Internet to believe it.
Life Lesson #27: If you have worse rectal control than one of the golden girls; seek out another hobby. Last time I saw someone pay for skidmarking this abusive he was ultimately banned from Chipotle at the corporate level. (it was me) [more]
23 years of positive thinking and rectal (in)tolerance have manifested themselves in a mint condition 2024 episode of live webcam failures, goofs and all around chucklefuck situations that probably didn't transpire as originally expected...
I'll give you the participation trophy for trying something different than the "my 3rd step cousin caught me upside down in the washing machine" combo every single fuckin girl does on this platform. But it's still gonna be a no from me dawg.
Non-existent respect for other's property, and enough PSI to degrease the engine of a Toyota Corolla. Normally a combination worthy of being proud of, now actually looks pretty fuckin abhorrent in retrospect. Hit the showers immediately.
More use of a fish eye lens than a Bam Margera skateboard compilation and exceptional proportions have manifested in the greatest compliment our boy has gotten since the glory days of Yahoo chat. Life can only go down from here.
Halfway into this you may say to yourself: I haven't come across so much reason to develop erectile dysfunction on purpose since going down the lore on [this social media creature]. It truly is an unfortunate day to have functioning eyes.
Many moons ago, a girl by the name Spring Thomas single-handedly started the BBC-4-ME movement. Apparently this Melody Parker character was hellbent on outperforming her mentor, and has been in the trenches ever since. More [here]
The thumbnail at the beginning of this thing really had me wondering if she was refunding last night's trip to Jack In The Box. His reaction after going full slurp really had me wondering if she was refunding last night's trip to Jack In The Box.
First warning sign should have been suggesting Ziploc Big Bags as contraceptive. The 2nd was needing to pay for a day pass in order to enter the donkey exhibit.
Never underestimate the sex drive of a B-tier TikToker w/ an A-level facial game. You end the week with an umbrella policy on your health insurance... but the stories you'll be able to tell ur bros in Roblox chat will be absolutely legendary.
Right-swipe of the week takes a stroll down butt blast boulevard in an attempt to expand her social media(s). Kinda weak for these guys tbh. I've seen asses getting stretched wider than that in the comments under any given Coffeezilla playlist.
