If everybody is born with a gift, hers is performing acts of infidelity without as much as a trace of last night's double serving of guacamole streaked onto the finest imported vegan leather. That's gotta be worth something to somebody.
If her facial expressions look familiar to you, then you too have felt the sweet kiss of Red Lobster's endless shrimp platter. A feeling taken from us all way too soon...
Some would say her build is an outright unfathomable piece of modern day art. Others, nothing you wouldn't see after accidentally falling on the ground in the women's handicap bathroom stall at a California Starbucks. Or so I'm told.
Honestly, I dig the vibe. She's 1 part goth, 27 parts mental patient. Make direct contact with her cervix at just the right velocity and she starts throwing the kind of rival gang signs that would get your ass smoked in Rancho Cucamonga.
Melody Marks. Long time pornstar turned JAV icon hit Japan like a tornado, fucking everything with a pulse. Now she moonlights as some sorta [findom lesbian online] In other words; gaijin have been in shambles ever since [more]
The more cringe the girl, the further they have to go for attention. A simple concept officially reinforced by this 97lbs of solid Slavic skankarooni. I'll put it this way: watching this forced me to drink Kettle One again. It's that kinda Caucasity.
7 mins of screen time and not once did the camera pan down to her luke warm filipe puckered starburst, leaving viewers concerned that they have been duped into participating in false advertising. Have we entered the era of "dick-baiting"?
Turning a non-Snorlax into wifey, only to find out she's been doing THIS while you're on the clock. Literally a top 3 reason amphetamines are so popular again.
Today's fix? Unfixable societal damage, the strongest vaginal lining in Arkansas and more teamwork than then Norway FIFA team. The PTA meeting is cancelled.
30 seconds in and two things will become glaringly apparent: 1) We've been grossly mislead about Alabama's tourist attractions. And 2) At least 50% of the people who seek these out have ejaculated to lawn mower maintenance videos.
Velma Gigglebush may look like a non-threat, but don't let it fool you. Behind those bifocals and semi-sanitized vajeen exists a girl that would power fuck your boyfriend/husband/mazda miata if given 3 consecutive unsupervised mins alone.
The amount of women that willingly get front loaded by permit-enforced meat missiles is actually surprising. What can be done in the privacy of your own home with a gas generator and jumper cables, has now been brought to public view.
Not every day someones title has me scratching all three nuts in bewilderment. But "Dumb Flashlight with Cow Tits" is a choice. Not even all 32 volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica are any help and my disappointment is immeasurable.
Downside to living with a depraved girl from Frogballs Arkansas? Every time you get half a hard-on, it's time to perform. But the produce is usually fresh so... win?
