Short of being an extra on Rocco's Retirement Village Tour (2035) I'm not sure these talents r beneficial. Never knowing the feels of a consensual relationship maybe? An existence without having to shop for birthday gifts? i dunno man...
As fate would have it, combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and off-roading can yield impressive results. Now if you'll excuse me I have to watch that new Resident Evil movie trailer and gouge my eyes out with a melon baller.
If only the avg girl put this much effort into carving out an a-hole that belongs in a museum, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reese's peanut butter cups this weekend. E-books will be written about this.
If there's anything these South American floozys do right with their 3600 baud Internet and flip phone cameras, it's this. Pack ur favorite anti viral and take notes.
Sorry hungry peasants eternally trapped under the inflation line. It seems all that lab grown meat has been diverted to her upper body. Now if you'll excuse me...
Bigfoot's hypo-allergenic sister refuses to adopt basic hygiene practices, but doesn't think twice about letting a complete stranger play a tune on her stink whistle. [raw mind you] Perhaps we really have gone past the point of no return.
OnlyFans: For half the cost of a Burger King combo meal, you too can be subjected to whatever toxicology violations are lurking behind those prematurely aged cheek bones. Enhancing your aroma with menthol Newports is optional.
Gotta admit; That's some impressive distance being covered with each wad. If the rumors of breakdancing being replaced with this at the next Olympics games is true, we may be witnessing a gold medal contender here. Bring on the sponsors.
"...but the husband joined". A very common scenario in high pressure cities that commonly charge over $9.00 for cups of coffee with pictures drawn on them.
An activity normally practiced by people that get so high they try to vacuum their own shadows. Clearly this one is no stranger to surprise trips to the gynecologist.
2004: Facebook launches for the first time, Ashlee Simpson jigged her way into irrelevancy and this jovial mother fucker was using his power of aspergers to give second stringers a reason to show up on set. I'm talkin half girth, half Pokemon.
If that isn't the look of a woman that's said "i've used dijon mustard as lubricant" at the table during Thanksgiving dinner, you can slap my bag and call me Shirley.
Turns out this inter-gender tag team have discovered a new meta to pollute the pages of xvideos with: Simulated "oops all anal" videos. More tomfoolery [here]
Incredible proportions. I bet every forward thrust would have her tits clapping like a trained seal. ur not supposed to find fish sticks erotic... yet here we are. Again.
I wondered what happened to the dreadlock girl at the 0:30 mark. Turns out she changed her name, but is still active But uhh... the landscape of war has changed.
The originator of "hyper squirting" back in the early days of MFC, XFuukaX is not only still active but she's pissing her pants on a pay-per-video basis now. #bidness
Normally it takes an incestuous story line and at least a $20 gift card to Starbucks to get Aubry Babcock on the wet end of an average penis. But today is SPECIAL.
This is what happens when Chaturbate gets saturated w/ day-ones and you have to find new ways to scalp juicer tokens. All because a taxi driver from Tanzania can't stop maxing out his data so he can tell asiangirl8537 to "show anal & borb".
In a society where your social status is measured by how many inches of BBC have ruptured your digestive system, you have to assume this Fiona is hovering somewhere in between "girl next door" and "super walmart cashier". Any takers?
Of all the unexpected fluids you can get blasted with in the backseat of a mid-range economy car, it's really not all that bad. People with friends that frequent the Dairy Queen drive-thru on a weekly basis know what I'm talking about.
