Normally it takes an incestuous story line and at least a $20 gift card to Starbucks to get Aubry Babcock on the wet end of an average penis. But today is SPECIAL.
Just the thought of this calcium-loaded miscreant will have your anus hole doing the macarena in excitement. For most of you, it will be the 1st time this part of the human body pull off these moves without intervention from Taco Bell. [more]
Some would say her build is an outright unfathomable piece of modern day art. Others, nothing you wouldn't see after accidentally falling on the ground in the women's handicap bathroom stall at a California Starbucks. Or so I'm told.
Look closely and you'll notice the dive bar bathroom graffiti tattoo coverage isn't even at 30%. Unfortunately that means the future will involve heavy machinery.
Judging by the shades of mold growing under her, it looks like they were at the "practice stage" long before the camera ever got turned on. Imagine the smell[z].
idk what kind of Amish paradise rules they agreed to before making the match, but this shit doesn't work for me brother. Interesting loophole though. It's kind of like tax harvesting, where the people watching are the only ones getting fucked.
The dude behind the camera has survived genital-disfiguring diseases amidst bulldozing through 27% of the pacific north west's bucket of baddies. Maybe Gorlock needs to make a cameo next time. That's the secret ending we all earned.
Honestly, I dig the vibe. She's 1 part goth, 27 parts mental patient. Make direct contact with her cervix at just the right velocity and she starts throwing the kind of rival gang signs that would get your ass smoked in Rancho Cucamonga.
Self-filming, self-uploading and self-promoting is crazy fuckin work when you got a wedding ring collecting dust on the Walmart end table. Having the phenotype of an Elden Ring skeletal archer may or may not have led to this decision tho.
