A vaginal opening that doesn't look like it's seen the wheels of an El Dorado is a welcomed change. Perhaps if OF creators could keep the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' starting line outside of their underwears this could become a hot new trend.
Imagine all the planning, text messages, sneaking around and poker face horse shit she went through only to find out Sanjeet has the endurance of a geriatric garden snail. You can almost pinpoint the moment of her final disappointment.
Today's fix? Unfixable societal damage, the strongest vaginal lining in Arkansas and more teamwork than then Norway FIFA team. The PTA meeting is cancelled.
idk what kind of Amish paradise rules they agreed to before making the match, but this shit doesn't work for me brother. Interesting loophole though. It's kind of like tax harvesting, where the people watching are the only ones getting fucked.
Alright it's time for these South American couples to scale it back a fucking notch. Most OF girls barely expose a pubic hair for 6 figure days, meanwhile Valentina and friends are facing radical spinal surgery for less than 2 scoops of rocky road.
Getting blown out within shouting distance of your HOA'd neighbors is a pretty bold move. Actually, it's one of superiority. Nancy and her 13 cats will most definitely think twice about filing a noise complaint at the next board meeting.
The side effects of letting a horsecock hanger turn the power level to "skidrow abortion" before going Hiroshima on his wife's dirty corncob? Literally nothing. In fact, this might prove without doubt the inner walls of her anus are nuclear proof.
Downside to living with a depraved girl from Frogballs Arkansas? Every time you get half a hard-on, it's time to perform. But the produce is usually fresh so... win?
If you squint your eyes it looks like someone trying to parallel park a freightliner into a snack pack pudding cup. It also looks like that if you don't squint your eyes.
Selective fish-eye lens or are we looking at the missing link between man and clydesdale? idk know but somewhere in the world Levis is working on a solution.
Earning your brown belt in the front seat of an economy car with your wedding ring glinting in the pale phone light has to be some sort of modern day Picasso. To outdo it, next time ur gonna have to attempt the [kentucky tractor puller]
Always the same setup with these Clydesdales: Find a soft 7, then time it just right to bust a nut while asking for directions to Wetzel Pretzel. Today is no exception.
Looks like Sparky splurged all of his birthday nickles on the supreme package. She's built, looks like she enjoys it and judging by his lack of gagging, there's no aroma of yesterday's Newports anywhere to be seen. The glass ceiling is broken.
If uve been gifted the dimensions of a jar of grammas old fashioned marmalade, then you may have never experienced this situation. Alpha Chads such as yourself would power through both this interruption, and the following domestic assault.
If she weighs less than a sac of Power Ranger VHS tapes and has the depth to match, it's gotta be a Becky-Lynn getting turned into a bowl of mashed potatoes.
I understand the need to deep dive western european dirt stars in a 3v1 handicap match. I don't understand why one of them has to be dressed up as Spiderman.
Perhaps it's time to take your business to a place more focused on oral hygiene? Like a college internship program. Or Bangladesh during a soccer riot for example
An avalanche of tits that the most experienced mountain climbers would struggle with. Pair that with a gash that doesn't look like it's been one of the victims of Haddonfield and you're working with some triple A prime beef slab my friends.
