As fate would have it combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and modern tech yields impressive results. 7 seconds. 7 seconds is all that you will spare her.
This was voted the #2 reason to wake up Saturday morning with an unexplained rash in between your ass cheeks. Only falling short to raw dogging The Big Arch.
Short of being an extra on Rocco's Retirement Village Tour (2035) I'm not sure these talents r beneficial. Never knowing the feels of a consensual relationship maybe? An existence without having to shop for birthday gifts? i dunno man...
7 mins of screen time and not once did the camera pan down to her luke warm filipe puckered starburst, leaving viewers concerned that they have been duped into participating in false advertising. Have we entered the era of "dick-baiting"?
She surprisingly lacked the standard amount of lip filler that could inflate the tire of an industrial corn harvester, so the authenticity stood a chance. Then this guy's facial reactions start flaring & slowly took this one from "believable" to "autistic".
Self-filming, self-uploading and self-promoting is crazy fuckin work when you got a wedding ring collecting dust on the Walmart end table. Having the phenotype of an Elden Ring skeletal archer may or may not have led to this decision tho.
No way is that title authentic, but we're at the ass crack of 2026 so nothing is really surprising. Appraising your significant other's oral cavity at less than a bag of expired bagels might actually be a net positive to the gene pool at this point.
As fate would have it, combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and off-roading can yield impressive results. Now if you'll excuse me I have to watch that new Resident Evil movie trailer and gouge my eyes out with a melon baller.
1 part hypebeast, 19 parts herpes simplex two. Surely my user base doesn't need a PSA on the reasons not to raw dog a girl that considers Fruit Stripe gum a luxury item. But just in case I've given too much credence, do not try this one at home.
"Walmart offers savings through daily flash deals and extensive rollbacks often up to 30% off or more. Top current deals include deep discounts on home items and various tech, such as refurbished iPhones, heaters, and smartwatches."
We're talking first OF video here, not first time breaking the seal on her unmarinated waffle stomped shit biscuit. While it still maintains spry elasticity, I'll bet dollars to donuts it has more miles on it than grandads prized El Camino.
If we can go ahead & keep your fucking cuck larp fan fiction title crawl Microsoft word art caption spam off the videos in the future, that would be great. Both George Lucas and Sid Farkus will be contacted next time you cross this line bud.
Of all the unexpected fluids you can get blasted with in the backseat of a mid-range economy car, it's really not all that bad. People with friends that frequent the Dairy Queen drive-thru on a weekly basis know what I'm talking about.
Sorry hungry peasants eternally trapped under the inflation line. It seems all that lab grown meat has been diverted to her upper body. Now if you'll excuse me...
Believe it or not, at one point this spaghetti sauce Elmer Fudd looking mf'er was finger blasting all kinds of college girl gooch on the regular. Honestly not the worst reason to eat that early 401k withdrawal penalty. More shenanigans [here]
Pretty fuckin impressive build there. I bet you'd double fist the pelmeni borscht out of your own slavic shithole just to get within arm's reach of those juice bags.
Getting your o-ring blown out within shouting distance of a stranger's hotel bed is a bold move. One of superiority tbh. Nancy and her 19 cats will think twice about filing a noise complaint at tomorrow's complimentary continental breakfast.
Sometimes I think about the amount of guttural toxic waste this man has used his dipstick to measure without protective gear. There's no way he's still alive.
"Goblin mode" is a slang term for unapologetically self-indulgent lazy behavior that rejects societal norms, often involving staying in pajamas, eating junk food and generally embracing a messy comfortable existence and release of pressure.
