30 seconds in and two things will become glaringly apparent: 1) We've been grossly mislead about Alabama's tourist attractions. And 2) At least 50% of the people who seek these out have ejaculated to lawn mower maintenance videos.
As fate would have it, combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and off-roading can yield impressive results. Now if you'll excuse me I have to watch that new Resident Evil movie trailer and gouge my eyes out with a melon baller.
For these philanthropists, it's about breaking down societal norms and giving back to the community. Jump that hurdle and nothing will come between your side piece and legendary status. Save for a pair of Joseppi's tube socks or two...
Not even an ounce of hesitation either. That corn husk has definitely missed it's fair share of schedule maintenance intervals, but it's still running like the day it was bought. In other words: Mom's gonna be driving it until the wheels fall off.
Like the thunderdome, a Woody casting means two enter but only 1 leaves with a working sphincter. The following rush to Costco's adult diaper section is usually a dark day in the victim's life... but not today. Double BOOM. Double DOOM. [more]
Probably clickbait but it's 2026 and I've stopped assuming people aren't insane enough to rocket punch a fistful of their own family member's bush on a major highway. Dread it. Run from it. Degeneracy arrives all the same. And now it's here.
2004: Facebook launches for the first time, Ashlee Simpson jigged her way into irrelevancy and this jovial mother fucker was using his power of aspergers to give second stringers a reason to show up on set. I'm talkin half girth, half Pokemon.
This was voted the #2 reason to wake up Saturday morning with an unexplained rash in between your ass cheeks. Only falling short to raw dogging The Big Arch.
Not a bad reason to jump the pond and do a little sightseeing. In fact, throw in a bowl of your finest solyanka and I might make a weekend out of it. [more here]
The misses is bad at keeping secrets, but good at reading self-help books. The teachings of Master Your Finances, And Shake It Up are clearly on display here.
Those tits have gone through more transformations than Matt Hardy's wrestling career over the years. Literally 1.5 decades of confusion. Believe it or not she still offers access to them for less than the cost of a Tim Horton's breakfast sandwich.
Normally it takes an incestuous story line and at least a $20 gift card to Starbucks to get Aubry Babcock on the wet end of an average penis. But today is SPECIAL.
The dude behind the camera has survived genital-disfiguring diseases amidst bulldozing through 27% of the pacific north west's bucket of baddies. Maybe Gorlock needs to make a cameo next time. That's the secret ending we all earned.
Honestly, I dig the vibe. She's 1 part goth, 27 parts mental patient. Make direct contact with her cervix at just the right velocity and she starts throwing the kind of rival gang signs that would get your ass smoked in Rancho Cucamonga.
Velma Gigglebush may look like a non-threat, but don't let it fool you. Behind those bifocals and semi-sanitized vajeen exists a girl that would power fuck your boyfriend/husband/mazda miata if given 3 consecutive unsupervised mins alone.
The human experiment takes a new detour to fuck town USA, aided by wrestling memes and movies you probably never heard of. twas a fine society we had once. But like buying a video card without a home equity loan, those days are forgotten.
"Goblin mode" is a slang term for unapologetically self-indulgent lazy behavior that rejects societal norms, often involving staying in pajamas, eating junk food and generally embracing a messy comfortable existence and release of pressure.
In a society where your social status is measured by how many inches of BBC have ruptured your digestive system, you have to assume this Fiona is hovering somewhere in between "girl next door" and "super walmart cashier". Any takers?
Just the thought of this calcium-loaded miscreant will have your anus hole doing the macarena in excitement. For most of you, it will be the 1st time this part of the human body pull off these moves without intervention from Taco Bell. [more]
Karen McGoonerson is presented a with a choice: Dance with the mayonnaise maraca she's been married to for the past 4 years, or gallop with the chocolate clydesdale. Do you really have to guess how this one is gonna end? [painfully]
