Normally it takes an incestuous story line and at least a $20 gift card to Starbucks to get Aubry Babcock on the wet end of an average penis. But today is SPECIAL.
An activity normally practiced by people that get so high they try to vacuum their own shadows. Clearly this one is no stranger to surprise trips to the gynecologist.
If there's anything these South American floozys do right with their 3600 baud Internet and flip phone cameras, it's this. Pack ur favorite anti viral and take notes.
4 outta 5 physicians will advise against this behavior. But a lifetime of chronic digestive complications doesn't really seem to concern these prodigies. Big risks = more clout. And more clout = more fashionably retarded short form content.
Before the faux outrage begins; no this bullshit isn't real. This is clout zombie BronwinAuora who's newest grift seems to be convincing a janitor to play duos.
Of all the unexpected fluids you can get blasted with in the backseat of a mid-range economy car, it's really not all that bad. People with friends that frequent the Dairy Queen drive-thru on a weekly basis know what I'm talking about.
Getting your o-ring blown out within shouting distance of a stranger's hotel bed is a bold move. One of superiority tbh. Nancy and her 19 cats will think twice about filing a noise complaint at tomorrow's complimentary continental breakfast.
Started at the bottom, now we're here. And by here I mean vigorously being tested for sexually transmitted diseases because Derrick from the Walmart parking lot insisted on not using any form of protection during his big moment.
Turning a non-Snorlax into wifey, only to find out she's been doing THIS while you're on the clock. Literally a top 3 reason amphetamines are so popular again.
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon...
7 mins of screen time and not once did the camera pan down to her luke warm filipe puckered starburst, leaving viewers concerned that they have been duped into participating in false advertising. Have we entered the era of dick-baiting?
Classic move, but one that's gonna need more practice if it's going to give Limpin Larry enough motivation to erect the other half of his penis. #cialis. Look into it.
Kinda reminds me of old Internet when girls did everythin imaginable for nothing more than access to a bottomless keg. Twitter didn't exist, OnlyFans wasn't a thought; It was just degenerates on the hunt for their next case of rabid vaginitis.
Remember when Hantavirus got ignored so hard it disappeared? Well your favorite social degenerate is here to bring back that biological chaos and disorder to the public transportation of your choosing. Choose your form of PPE wisely.
Pretty fuckin bold move to do this on public transportation. But while the Ebay bidding war rages on for that wet spot she left behind, consider this; women.
"if you're caught, DON'T STOP!" That's not a direct quote or anything. And it probably shouldn't be one. Especially for that broken fire hydrant seasoning the corner table at Smash Burger around the 5:00 mark. wtf is wrong with u people?
2.5 minutes of supercharged fuckhype videos that will have you re-questioning the circular hole you saw in the 7/11 bathroom stall. (handicapped) Oh it's true.
The dude behind the camera has survived genital-disfiguring diseases amidst bulldozing through 27% of the pacific north west's bucket of baddies. Maybe Gorlock needs to make a cameo next time. That's the secret ending we all earned.
Staring at wood paneling as her middle-aged leather cheerio permeates the air with the aroma of Newport Menthols and Skittles. That's the life we all strive for.
The title may be bs, but at least it's not A.I. An unfortunate level of acceptance our dystopian future has waiting for us when it comes waxing the carrot. Almost as depressing as that spine tattoo acting as a roadmap to her Hersey Kiss faucet.
This was voted the #2 reason to wake up Saturday morning with an unexplained rash in between your ass cheeks. Only falling short to raw dogging The Big Arch.
