One romantic moment after another breaks out in front of an unwilling audience. (see: ME) And if that second-to-last photo is any indication of a Saturday night in Albuquerque I may need to make a few adjustments to my Trivago itinerary ASAP
As fate would have it, drinking your body weight in White Claw (see: Certifiably Loud Ass White-girl) and running to the nearest genitalia at the biggest herpes convention of the year isn't the best idea after all. Live, Learn and Regret, Becky.
Women nowadays are scared to coast through a Dunkin Donuts drivethru without glazing their faces in 20 minute Youtube makeup tutorials. And then there's these girls... who run out of fucks to give after three Shirley Temples.
Lookout world, this eroding shit stain has no limits. He also has a group of friends that lost their virginitys to a series of mail-order body pillows. Keep these 2 details in mind - it's the closest clue you're gonna get as to why the fuck this was filmed.
This girl has a clitoral overload immediately following an impromptu canyon yodeling. This is the wwhere I'm supposed to cut the sleeves off my shirt and call her a slut, but I'd rather comfort her while sniffing her butt. It's called romance.
There's no better way to celebrate your final day of freedom than by cramming a bottle of Pepsi's finest in the tuna mitten of a $14.00 hooker. They went for an assisted goal, but she insisted max capacity was already reached. UH HUH...
Apparently a 2-pack of Bud Light turns you into the Gandolf of parking lot pussy pickups... and today his teachings are all free of charge. Practice what you see here & I promise those size-11 Craigslist girls will never "LOL" again.
It's a shame they didn't take this a step further and use their natural resistance to pain and turn her crusty doughnut into a cut of roast beef the diameter of a Mazda Miatia. Then maybe I could have ejaculated today...
It's always the same setup. Your side piece finally agrees to lube the rusty wagon wheel , but "only if I git drunky first". Listen you cockamamie hoes: Bacardi + Buttlove don't mix. These bitches couldn't even stay vertical lol
"I tried my best to caption this one, but half the shit that steamrolls out of her mouth makes no sense and after the two straight minutes of her rambling on about Totoya automobiles I got kinda tired. P.S. NICE TITS."
She's drunk, high and/or possibly dead... all of which appropriately explain why she's the closest thing to a heterosexual in this video. I have a strong feeling this ended with at least one cellphone getting lost into the abyss.
How to make ur silly fetish porn better? Feature a guy over 5' tall & get closeups. That's what we really want: sexual assault vicariously through the Internet. Not watch Johnny Shortdick stumble his way through puberty.
2 beers turn this rookie into the Jim Lahey of live-in girlfriends. First, she attempts to mark the futon, then she moves to the kitchen to deposit her wonderpuss. I think Budweiser just found itself it's new spokeswoman.
Cute girl has an unpredictable FML moment after realizing her love interest has worse social skills then a fucking potato. Lesson learned: Never mess with a homosexual in flip flops. Dignity left a long time ago.
Carlos "pussy slayer" Garcia got himself one of those deluxe Nokia phones that shoots video and he's gonna show us just how cool life is... by turning the hose on a femi-beaner that downed about 9 too many Four Lokos.
In 2 minutes flat this self-entitled shit stain goes from having fun to newest member of the talk shit - get hit club. Some people may call this domestic assault. But teh bro throwing right crosses calls it equal opportunity.
Veronika underestimated both her tolerance for Skinny Girl Margaritas, and vertical gravity. Marvel in her glorious attempt to make it into the toilet before her underpants. More regrettable drunk girl antics HERE.
At first I was like "wow, she's unconscious, she's totally gonna get raped". I was actually worried, up until the camerabro did me the disservice of zooming in on her genitals. 6 words: protective layer of atomic wet-fart.