Well shit, with proportions and elasticity like that I'll gladly lower my standard and line up at the brillo pad elephant dick barbershop with the rest of em. #noregrats
I don't know who she is but the checklist has already been maxed out: Puts out on the first date. Isn't afraid to go full commando, and has absolutely no respect for the domestic leatherette option in the Suburban you borrowed from mom.
$10.00 and the final remnants of my Culver's cheese curds says she uses dipshit phrases like "bussin" and "no cap" and "i'll kill you if I find you hiding in the backseat of my Toyota Corolla again, mother fucker". Typical zoomer attitude.
original title:selfie to make your day better. Listen bitch; 7 hrs ago it seemed like a good idea to eat 64 slices of American Cheese & wash it down with gin. Unless u have a sewing kit & extensive knowledge of battle wounds, ur request is denied.
That's a home-wrecking set of dimensions if I've ever seen some. Literally built for BBC, BGC, YMCA and whatever DOT codes are needed for construction vehicles.
Consider this a 60 second tutorial on why you should always reach for vagina outside of Walmart's Black Friday sale. Remember Norman Vincent's words: “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll still land among the gonorrhea.”
Overtime hours in an industry that fucks more vocal cords than fronting a death metal band isn't a recommendation. But wedding rings are $$$... so I'm just sayin.
Her tit-to-face ratio is insane. Literally carved right out of the blueprint for "girls I would give up red meat just to be in the same room as one of her brappers after a solo speed run of Olive Garden's Tour of Italy". In other words; I fucks with it.
This trend makes you wonder wtf zoomers are being conditioned to beat off to. Careful - One ghost nut to this kind of shit, and you'll be wondering why file names like "lotr_gollum_anal_jamboree.mp4" are on your desktop in a few years.
Nothing says "committed girlfriend" quite like a limited case of whiplash Let's just say... this chicken head's probably seen more cock than an Alabama hen house.
I'll give you the participation trophy for at least doing something different than the "punch with my left arm, roll my eyes" combo every. single. fucking. girl. does on this platform before the tits come out, but it still gonna be a no from me dawg.
If we could go ahead and get an ID on her, that would be fantastic. Try to time it around the Black Friday sales on 10-packs of tube socks if possible. Appreciate it.
Unfortunately shes probably only sexually attracted to guys hung like a snap peas & softer than dudes selling lattes at a feminist rally. Eight Words: The Complete Manual of Suicide by Wataru Tsurumi. Buy 2 copies to fully understand my genius.
Anyone else have a theory that there's a factory churning out these girls by the hundreds on a conveyor belt in Edison New Jersey? They're all starting to bleed into the same hair/tan/sexually transmitted disease combo... and I don't like it.
Short collection of those tissue-ripping videos you come across at 2:00 in the morning in the middle of a Dr Pepper-fueled jackoff marathon, only to never be seen again when you actually go looking for them on purpose. #tipofmypenis
This happens when you swipe-right 6,000 consecutive times in a row. Eventually, a jackpot is hit. It's kinda like Atlantic City but with way less transferable diseases.
Infuckincredible. Unfortunately the Cheeto dust left in the comments under her videos must've scared her off from porn for good because this is her only known appearance. Around here we like to refer to that as pretending dignity exists.
Nevermind the fact that she talks like a slightly upgraded version of Stan's tard sister on Southpark. What I really want to know is what's up with this new trend of bodily fluids being replaced with Nickelodean slime. And I want to know now.
Meet your new unreachable standard. Probably seen more transferable disease than a California protest crowd, yet she's still able to erect a nation of erections without trying. Don't be fooled by his lack of intensity - this is A+ tier flib flab.
Her name is "Alisonfire" but I prefer the moniker "reason I have to buy 2-ply toilet paper in bulk". Fun Fact #1: She's famous for making the world wait half a decade for wiener-on-vag action. Fun Fact #2: 173,000 of her Pornhub views are from me.
