It's all shits and dumplings until you give a 67-year-old beet farmer a cyclopean erection. He was invited to look-no-touch - he went bobbing for carp instead. We call it 'sexual assault'. China calls it 'breaking the ice'.
Immobile fatty pays a visit to the local Walmart to stock up on war novels and V8 Splash when fate sends a pantiless milf his way. Hopefully the Mrs. is nearby. He's gonna need a diaper change after that encounter.