Right-swipe of the year takes a stroll down buttblast boulevard in an attempt to expand her reach on social media. Little weak TBH. I've seen assholes getting stretched wider than that in the comments under any given Logan Paul video.
She's drunk, high and/or from southern New Jersey. All of which appropriately explain why she's using her asshole as a greeting card. I have a strong feeling this day ended with at least one health insurance deductible being reached.
Never underestimate the benefits of a 3-star YELP hotel that recycles toilet paper. You may leave with a more diseased crotch than all 97-years of Madonna's world tours combined... but the stories you'll be able to tell will be legendary. #facts
Not since the days of blindly acquiring porn ala 5600 baud Limewire have I come across a female with such seminal fortitude. She's got standards brah. Know who doesn't have standards? THIS WIND TUNNEL. #sendhelp
Degenerate hoebag works feverishly to get sexually assaulted by a guy with more V's in his name than a Russian dictionary... and doesn't come close to succeeding. Enjoy your 0-star YELP review Victor Vahdeem Vyachvyeslahv!
HIM: Dressed like a level 65 COD Lieutenant
HER: Dressed like Corey Feldman during an audition
Some love stories just aren't written with happy endings.
Only 2 people should never be caught doing the forbidden fox trot: Lindsay Lohan in her 'i'll snort Clorox' phase, and this girl. She's 19, anti-semen and dumber than a mailbox on Sunday. In other words: she was BORN for Efukt.
Okay I lied. Shes neither popular, nor is this a party. Shes Josefina, master of attention whoring & STD aficionado. Moral of the story: Test first, Lick later.
Ya just got done telling the world your crotch sees more activity than the YMCA... is it really a time for giggles? Sit in a tub of peroxide & think it over.
This bitch is the Nelson Mandela of hooking up, but her BFF ain't having it. I thought I was a charitable dude after donating 2 1/2 bags of Hot Cheetos to my local soup kitchen. Thats diddly fuckin dick compared to this.
Deprived girl volunteers her noodle bowl on Craigslist to anyone w/ legs, free of charge. But instead of spacing out the locally unemployed, she hits one after another w/o as much as a Summer's Eve bath in between. #RIP
Two mugs worth of Germany's finest lagers, and this ladies mouth turns into a portable glory hole. I'm talking blowjobs, community service style. So disgraceful you'd think she was running for president of the US and A.
FACT: Men prefer a petite Hispanic with an anus full of fabric softener in their EconoLodge fantasies. Meet the exception: shes 30+, has tits like Deebo has lazy eyes and her policy on race-relation is top notch. More here
