Getting to this level of comfortable may actually end up being a bad thing. Today it's hawkin Detroit's finest unwashed hamlog in front of a friendly bystander. Tomorrow, it's using city fire hydrants as portable enemas. Ask me how I know.
This one's pretty legendary as far as college porn goes. And apparently it's the layman's guide to attracting women in Nebraska: Where the cure for a Heineken hangover is getting straight rawdogged before locating your fucking toothbrush?
A moment of Internet history, almost forgotten in the annals of time. It's hard to explain to a newcomer why this shit was so groundbreaking in the late 2000's. Just imagine a college campus with no politics and an endless supply of Plan B.
I dunno a lot of chain smoking 30 year old cheerleaders that spend valid amounts of time behind the dumpster at Johnny Rockets, so obviously the description is bullshit. But if menthol flavored clickbait is your thing, then uhh... enjoy the ride.
Can't tell if we're looking at early Sasha Grey impersonating early Belladonna, or the other way around. And more importantly; I haven't had a bowel movement in 72 hours and I think the fire department is gonna have to get involved soon.
Top tier body proportions and doesn't suffer from Freddy vs. Jason retconning. (see: water) I'd definitely cancel a lunch date at Cheesecake Factory so I can spend the afternoon reorganizing the organs in her lower abdominal region.
The e-thots of yesteryear did everything imaginable for nothing more than access to a bottomless keg. Twitter didn't exist, OnlyFans wasn't a thought; It was just a campus full of 18-year-olds on the hunt for their next case of rabid vaginitis.
At first I thought we were finally getting a sequel to Feminist Attacks Cocky Stripper. Unfortunately she's not even close to being a copycat of the flank shanking legend, leaving the deep void in my heart unfulfilled yet again. #sad
Dude being completely naked down to his feet has to be noted here. A proponent for personal freedom, or reducing drag in order to achieve maximum velocity?
You don't have to be a full Chad to experience this kind of public salami sloshing. Just find a girl that's sexually attracted to Amibos and the lifetime bans from all major airlines will flow in faster than you can complain about them on Twitter.
If South America is any indication of social distancing bailing us out of the worst pandemic of our lifetime... I'd say this is proof we are buttfucked.
It's kinda refreshing to see that tourism is still booming for our brothers below the equator. Now let's go ahead and get these gentleman under contract for the next Ghostbusters reboot. I'm seeing at least 103 inches of Oscar winners here.
In a society where your social tramp score can be measured by how many OnlyFans videos you've uploaded... you have to ask yourself why one would still seek the attention and risk of clam-bathing in front of strangers during rush hour.
Show me a woman that puts this much effort into her homemade skin flicks, and I'll show you the kind of divorced mother of three I want Dr. Phil to dedicate an entire episode to. Cash me outside the 7-11 begging for Slim Jims, how bout dat?
You don't have to be a Chad to experience double-fisted AIDS. But when I go STD Akimbo I seek out the discount bin for further savings. Ever get combo-blown by 2 girls with less teeth than a goldfish? Cause you can do it twice at these prices.
Her claim to fame is a bit questionable, and the window seat at Chipotle probably smells like a Vietnamese cat house. But when she reaches peak fake orgasm, her face scrunches up like she's breech birthing Danny Devito & it's fucking beautiful.
Listen. I've seen some pretty loathsome shit in my day: Tijuana donkey porn, suggestive photographs of Mickey Rourke, all the Fantastic Four films. But THIS? This shit made me gag like a Hindu trapped inside Arby's. #IQUIT
She's got Maybelline's bolt-on tits and doesn't give a fuck. They flirt, they grope, they jerk off like the Titanic is going down. Shit's goin good... till u realize it's just some Buzzfeed journalist living out a feminist wet dream.
'memember HIM? Looks like he's back for round 2. Not sure why he longs for the approval of random black chicks. His dick is a drizzle compared to the tsunamis these bitches are addicted to. Time for a new hobby, Bernard.
Trashy brunette high off a feminist rally channels some standard white-female empowerment fantasy through the power of pussy. But the real trophy here isn't Cletus' snapshot, it's Hobo Jones in the background.
You probably heard about this already. Story spread faster than genital warts at a 2LiveCrew concert. What you may not know is the Ronda Rousey-esq triangle choke hold applied. It's a mother fuckin thing of beauty.
3 groups of degenerates that have truly mastered the art of public debauchery. Blondie doing the 24 dong taste test may be a (worthy) repost, but Mr. Bean's sidewalk slam and the camel sliders sure as shit aren't.
I like how he keeps his hands above her waist, so as to not make contact with her genitals. Cuz a fingerbang would be over the line, whereas gagging on last week's dodger dog in front of 78 people is just a-oh-fucking-k.
Public oyster shucking. Doesn't try to hide it. Doesn't care that Hot Topic's day shift is spectating. This MILF couldn't give less than a shit about the world around her and I respect that. Neglect porn should be a thing.
Here's a hotel review I'd like to see on TripAdvisor: Conveniently adjacent to highway 45, where all westbound traffic can get a clear view of your battle-fatigued piss cutter. Consider my reservation booked.
I'm just surprised it isn't a dash cam. Everything else is really classic Russian: cheesy windbreakers, weird haircuts, public intoxication and of course public daytime sexual assault.
Sloppy pervert pays the price for using bulky, outdated equipment. His victim quickly takes notice and stomps everything to shit. That's what you get for shopping @ Radioshack in the 21st century, you dumb fuck.
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