Wife has second thoughts about the butthole boogaloo, right as he's about to shoot some tadpoles at the moon. But there's no escape, she voluntarily submits. In other words: This is a PSA on the importance of communication.
If physical pain at all plays a role in the enjoyment a person feels, I would estimate Rocketta Balboa here is hovering in between 'Level 10 Orgasm' and "I got an extra McNugget in my value meal". Ejaculate with caution.
The more colors in her hair, the crazier the bitch is. A simple concept... and one that's officially reinforced thanks to this 97lb puddle slut farming the fuck out. Put it this way: Just watching her gave me Hep-C. It's that serious.
2 tokes of synthetics turn this skalliwag into the Gary Busey of hookups First she bare-asses the pavement. Then she speaks in tongues, in what I can only guess is confessing her sexual attraction to a mailbox. Hit it?
Silly swamp monster. You can't whip out 4+ inches of protuberance and continue to call it a vagina. Better hit up the DVD collection and Pirhana 3D that shit before roaming the bar scene. I'm here to help.
All but guaranteed to execute any size-queen fantasies u might've accidentally had after an episode of Keeping Up With the Kuntashians. Don't be fooled by that shit eating grin: Your love of vagina dies here and dies now.
One of Chernobyl's second generation offspring proudly displays his self-described one-eyed tuna trawler, an unfortunately authentic title for what might be the most WTF-worthy video you'll see today. Or not...
Ever witness a housewife buckin' like a Russian gymnast being bulldozed by Patrick Ewing? More importantly, who has a bigger penis: Kanye West or Lindsay Lohan?
You can brag about your 16 pounds of lethal weaponry all you want. If this is wat you choose to do with it, its about as useful as pack of Trojans to a Pokemon Go'r.
Today's Lesson: Halloween is not limited to 1 day on the calender, "Freddy Bangs White Girl" is more cannon than the last 4 movies combined, and watching a burn victim lay teh pipe is strangely erotic. Quiz tomorrow.
Some wisdom I picked up during my 6 hour stakeout of a bathroom at a monster truck rally: You get what you pay for. And by the looks of these leather handbags, I'd say this bitch used Groupon at the time of service LOL.
I've seen some pretty awful CGI in my day. Dwayne Johnson in The Scorpion King, that glacier scene in Die Another Day & the entire Stephen King library. But this? This has heart. And tits that moistened my pantaloons.
My African acquaintance in the entertainment industry has long told me porn & music simply don't go together. Upon the 11th time stroking my spring roll to this masterpiece, I'm beginning to think he's a fucking liar.
Skip to the end. The part where he goes 4th of July inside the walls of her meat wallet. If the consistency of his brand doesn't scream 'i maintain a steady diet of yogurt, honey & Elmer's glue' I don't know what does.
One time something Japanese-related decides not to censor genitalia... it involves a love doll built for Verne Troyer. But the key phrase today is: LOVE STORY. This has one that would make Twilight shit it's pants in envy.
Dirty Sanchezes, Donkey Punches - pretty timid stuff by today's Internet-standard. But check out #3. It's unarguably the most repulsive shit I've seen since Jaden Smith's Twitter account.
Becky and the blind Guatemalan she hired to ink her orangutang booty have some explaining to do. I think it's best you find the nearest wood chipper and lower those cheeks into it. Even FEMA can't help you now.
Choke her, slap her, sodomize her, lace her Tampax Pearl with liberal amounts of Dave's Gourmet Hurtin' Habanero Sauce. There's all sorts of fun ways to a dominate a woman. PROTIP: this isn't one of em.
