No clickbait, I'm DEAD SERIOUS. Scroll to the 3:00 min mark and pretend physics still exists. Then call Tom Savini and tell him his services are no longer required.
Certainly not the first time mother nature has had enough of our shit, but it is one of the more entertaining things I've seen. Like these compilations? originals HERE
With a filename like AnalDislike.flv I can assure you this entry was mislabeled on upload. She's got sexual freedom like Miley Cyrus has prescription shampoos for her crotch & it officially raised the bar on my definition of "relationship material".
Sheldon is an expert of 2 things: Fortnite building & frying up the best meatball hot pockets this side of the prime meridian. Unfortunately neither skill will stop her from cheating with a guy that considers windchimes a musical instrument.
Ever seen a girl question the elasticity of her vagina, and her future as a NASA engineer at the same time? Fantastic. Now we have two things in common.
Going Hard in the Paint - It's the stepping stone to reliving your past life in the sorority house. Most women under the age of 40 have enough confidence in their rectal muscles to take the challenge. But this lady has a different approach...
She's drunk and/or high on discounted opiates... both of which explain why she's being tenderized like manager's special hotdog meat. Double bag it. Just in case.
Apparently semi-professional fornicators have acquired some sort of dignity? Back in my day that hotel room door would have been unlocked, opened and inviting all migrants to participate in the three-handled family grudunzle.
Nevermind the fact that she talks like a slightly upgraded version of Stan's tard sister on Southpark. What I really want to know is what's up with this new trend of bodily fluids being replaced with Nickelodean slime. And I want to know now.
Middle-age hit her like a sack of 80's exercise videos, and she needs cash. Bad. How can life get worse? Well, if you guessed being told to suck dick by the Dane Cook of porn directors, you just won my limited edition Power Ranger sex doll.
Never before have I seen a man do something so disrespectful with such finesse. Where there's shame, he shows confidence. Where there's shock, he brings warmth. And where there's romance, well... he really doesn't give a flying fuck.
If only he put in as much effort into technique, as he does masking his insecurity with low-testosterone rage, we might have a video worth filling a tube sock with.
Symptom #293 you need to end the all-turnip and MDMA diet: You develop the sex drive of a cinder block followed by a speech impediment that could end a marriage in Alabama. But rather than seek Dr. Phil's help, you do this instead.
and by "real" I mean the kind of on-demand tears that could snag an Emmy nomination right next to Captain Marvel. Or equally as interesting: "What I Flushed Down My Toilet Last Night" (that one was an independent documentary)
Jamming your weenus into crazy girl buttholes without consequences is about as probably as a Bernie Sanders-sponsored straight pride parade. But you have to admire her dedication. Thoughts? Hit it? Or hit it with a Toyota Corolla?
A night of Malibu Rum and bands that consider wind chimes an instrument can only end 1 of 2 ways. And while tits hanging off your family tree seems like a clear winner, I implore you to consider going Randy Savage on a bitch as an alternative.
big warning: not even dragging your penis through an orgy of churro-flavored hispanic hoochie will make the mental images you're about to endure go away.
