The upside to being treated like the exhaust pipe of a Chevrolet El Dorado? Literally nothing. All you have to do is breath and the alpha male fantasy fan fiction will magnetize to you like a herpes outbreak at a Playboi Carti concert.
Need proof that that stiffing people in your twenties is dangerous? Look no further my credit-enhanced friends. Meet Natalie Brooks. A special kind of girl that clearly needs more than one demonstration to learn her fucking lesson.
Speculation time: Misogynist? Eccentric fetish? The mating ritual of the Monarch Southern Californian? We may never know the answer, but one thing is certain: His verbal assault would have landed a 6-figure comedy special from HBO in 1998.
A Manson Family Hanukkah special is 1 thing I expected to see long before someone mastered the art of hands-free ejacuatlions. Now next time do it in the palm of a guy named Carlos. It's called the Puerto Rican Panhandle, I invented it.
After a marathon 365 days of nonstop sandpaper ass-fucking by 2020, you'd think Becky McBallbag would've called this guy's bluff and at least tried to enjoy the moment for another few seconds. What the hell happened to New Year New Me?
These dude's affinity for I lick the toilets at Publix for fun porn is off the fucking charts. I mean seriously - Imagine getting more typcasted than Jason Statham, in the adult world. P.S. Anyone else have a sudden urge to order chimmichangas?
Prostitution is a pretty straight-forward process. Browse Craigslist Gigs-Labor section and let the restraining orders fly. Unless you're a naive rookie that charges less than KFC's 10-piece Family Feast. Then, it gets a little awkward...
I'm not even sure what the hell is going on here. I see too much ink, Too little foresight and a modified hospital bed normally reserved for My 600 lb Life. No further info than that, so... time for some hashtags. #doublestandards #hetoo
Never before have I seen a man do something so disrespectful with such finesse. Where there's shame, he shows confidence. Where there's shock, he brings warmth. And where there's romance, well... he really doesn't give a flying fuck.
A night of Malibu Rum and bands that consider wind chimes an instrument can only end 1 of 2 ways. And while tits hanging off your family tree seems like a clear winner, I implore you to consider going Randy Savage on a bitch as an alternative.
Now if only this freak put as much effort into his apprenticeship as he did into literally ruining his entire life, maybe this repulsive fuck would've thought twice about using a camera with the pixel output of a yukon potato. Kill him twice.
The Midwest: Some go for affordable street drugs. Others, go to make videos that can fuel an entire season of Dr. Phil. This guy does both. 1st he loads up on Slurm, then he shows his sister-cousin who's the boss of this double-wide. A role model?
I guess having sex isn't exactly considered "challenging" when someone has the alcohol tolerance of a vienna sausage. Lesson learned: Never try to impress a girl that's probably used the neighbor's cat as toilet paper. #germany #whydidifap
Sociopaths play their Blue-Eyed White Domestic Abuse cards in attack mode. The end result? A record-setting 4 minute tutorial of what not to do when your Tinder match finally says yes to Chicken Nuggets & Chill.
[tip: look in the third row for link] Creepy fuck sets up shop in an air duct just to get a peek at a random cooter as she unloads some Mountain Dew. Unfortunately he makes too much noise & scares the utter shit out of her.
3 A.M. hookup goes from erotic to i'll kill u motherfucker as Ivan Ivanovitch Ivanovsky starts sticking his custard musket into enemy territory. The hate in her eyes is real. Him promising to keep this home movie a secret is not.
This guy might as well be the Conor McGregor of butthole dysfunction, and today he's teaching Relationships 101. Adopt his patented "Oklahoma whiff n' dip", and I promise, ur lady will never think about crying misogyny again.
You know your stock is circling the drain when the number one flirtation tactic in your arsenal involves a closed fist, and the finest douchebro tanktop in the Macy's 50% off bin. PS: Keep skipping leg day phaggot.
I wish Mr. White Shirt was a returning character in all casual sex videos. He's about as good at flirting as I am at convincing fat girls on TINDER that my semen tastes like Ben & Jerry's cake batter. Simply put: phenomenal.
Prettier the girl, the nicer you have to act to get below the panty line. A pretty standard concept and it's now officially obsolete thanks to this Australian asshole. Guy makes Martin Shkreli look charitable, he's that dickish.
Nice taste in women victims. Terrible pickup strategy though. Two words: Adoption Agency. Join the rest of the evolved population and use a dog to break the ice next time, you repulsive inbred piece of antisocial shit.
He's packing 5.7 inches worth of sexual assault but the target won't sit still long enough for him to deliver the payload. Bonus pts for her almost backing into it, but ultimately he goes home with a dick dryer than Egypt.
