Another chapter closed in a book that Barnes & Noble insists on displaying in the Sci-Fi section. Normally read in the dimly lit corner of a trailer park, surrounded by Newport butts and half-eaten cans of Trader Joe's finest stuffed meatball ravioli.
If uve been gifted the dimensions of a jar of grammas old fashioned marmalade there's only two things left to do. So if you share the same genetics, take notes and consider this Plan C after you get banished from the batting cages for life.
All I ask is that you watch the entire thing and promise to never replicate any of it. Especially that indoor power washing in the last video. One wrong push and you run the risk of turning the thunderstorm into a full blown shit show. #imserious
If facial expressions tell a story, I'd say this hog hopper just blasted through the entire Lord of The Rings trilogy and got halfway into the spinoffs in less time than it takes to shit myself after Panda Express egg rolls. (also known as: warp speed)
Normally I'd be the first to out this as being faker than the tip I left a Door Dasher that dropped $43.00 worth of Del Taco (see: 1 value meal). But I did the research, and turns out these two share more DNA than Gene Simmons in the 70's. [more]
A classic moment from the archives of Elay Smith. A woman that single-handedly set the ground work for future OnlyFan'ers by making a habit out of terrorizing her neighbors with nothing more than autistic facial expressions & double-G tits.
Basically a public service announcement on the pros and cons of using Tinder in New Orleans. Some live to tell the tale. Others are in diapers at the age of 27. All have an abnormally intimate relationship with Newport cigarettes & turkey gravy.
If this man's idea of romance is a metaphor for the west being able to raise those population numbers, I'd say this is proof we are buttfucked. Unironically of course.
Especially if u aren't stone cold sober during daylight hours. One wrong angle and you run the risk of turning her innie into an outtie. It's called "the heat seeking carmel farmer" and it's the #3 reason for divorce, right behind finances & Reddit.
Looks like the kind of video set up by a guy one anime character re-voicing away from a total nervous breakdown. Lesson learned I guess? Never trust the AirBNB advertisement with the words "my mom only works nightshift" in the fine print.
The complete lack of bass-boosted XM radio and used hypodermic needles tells me this didn't happen in New Jersey. In other words; She probably gonna be aight.
If only the avg girl put this much effort into carving out an ass that belongs in a museum, maybe I wouldn't be talking to a therapist about my sexual attraction to Reeses peanut butter cups this weekend. Thx [Anna] ull receive the invoice soon.
Believe it or not, before the OnlyFans era and studios jumping on the step-sister train; a man that looked like a dislocated thumb could actually convince his girlfriend to act like a semi-functioning sibling and get the Internet to believe it.
Surely this is a planted setup, right? This dude has a ton of other videos, but I simply refuse to believe a degenerate this brazen would be shown less audible disgust than someone being told the McFlurry machine is broken when noticed.
Definitely a more pleasant experience than my first time witnessing this behavior in the butcher's line of a Whole Foods. Apparently expiration dates are negotiable.
Becky Bagels foolishly thinks her road trip to Blowberg is going to be an uneventful one. That is, until her travel guide delivers the payload without as much as a "imma nut" before testing her gag reflex in real time. Many such cases.
3:10 for the moment of truth. Is dude being honest? Are those surgical gloves? Did I free throw one into the sink at Starbucks from the foul line because their one stall was closed off this morning? All these questions have the same answer.
Super hot but prob spends all day yappin like her defenses are impenetrable, then 1 goink to the wrinkled copper slot makes her hit windows_shutdown.wav. #msc
Quite the compliment. So endearing I would consider parting with my first-edition Lindsay Lohan love doll just for a fighting chance at being lost inside her bush fire. The current rehabed Lohan. Not that "snorting tide pods is a religion" version.
Hey, maybe this is your thing and so be it if it is. I just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page when it comes to defining the word "tits" and how they should look as little like the ramps Bam Margera used to hit those heelflips on.
Nearly 5 minutes of a couple simulating painal videos? We may have reached the TikTok level, brain rotted, bottom of the barrel amateur porn creator content[s].
Let's play a game: Response to him getting caught cheating? Overt street drug use? The guy filming is actually the plastic surgeon that did all that work in the back of a Subaru Outback? Only one of these is the truth. Choose your adventure.
Contrary to appearance, leading role in a wiener apocalypse isn't their specialty. You could say her B.A. in theater was more wasted than season 4 of The Walking Dead. But that's a-okay when you can add "Panther Whisperer" to your resume.
