Another one of those "big if true" moments. Which means the overlayed caption is fake, she's nobodies mom and the only loser... is Cody Rhodes. #rip dreamers.
Believe it or not at one point porn producers were getting real randos to fuck in exchange for a full keg & promise of being featured on collegefuckfest.com. How come we never know we're living in the best of times until they're over? #sad
Always the same shit with these frat bros: Target a soft 6, then try to time it just right to bust a nut while asking for directions to Wetzel Pretzel. Most victims want anonymity, but not this time. That's pre-porn Stella Cox & all I'm askin is: how tf?
Any gentleman out there already knows shooting with Shae Summers was the peak of postmodernism pornography. What you may not know is she is a [-gypsy healer-] now? idk wtf that means but it probably involves your wallet and her tits.
Rarely do I say this... but she is a single crotch hair away from a Dunkin Donuts breakfast taco on my dime. Let the simp sleuth searching of her identity begin.
I thought this was your everyday girl for a second, but it's none other than Alexis Crystal practically being fucked into early retirement. More brain damage [HERE]
uhh forget the permeating aroma of sardines now trapped in mom's throw rug forever for a second; is that a mother fuckin Panasonic Gamecube behind her?
This is why u always round up your CVS bill to the next dollar. In the words of the world's greatest philosopher: “Whatever it takes to save the earth, 'cause granola girls, gets 'em all moist. Homeless girls too. They'll do anything for shelter." - CB
I don't know man, but if your dick looks like it should be on a poster for National Geographic: Ostrich Week... maybe you shouldn't be the alpha in this situation?
Made me think about the underground sludge deathcore viking metal show I saw last week. It went from casual music festival, to full blown AIDS epidemic when 1 reckless cunt turned her vj into a full serve car wash. I YELP'd the venue 5-stars.
An increasingly disturbing fetish keeps picks up more steam, but this time the female in question is a total right-swipe. Her snargleburger gets more attention than Elon Musk's Twitter and all I can do is wonder why. New Jersey's finest.
Taps out after 40 seconds of anal and can't take a cumshot without coughing up this morning's corn pops? Afraid that puts u on my no-fap blacklist. Somewhere between Joe Rogans podcast & the final episode of The Golden Girls. #standards
uhh, I don't know exactly when 'crankin your carrot while a stranger rawdogs your girlfriend in a 7-11 parking lot' became a thing... but I suspect TikTok is responsible.
Take a generation that considers that Velma show a top comedy, crossbreed them with an addiction to experimental street drugs and this is what happens.
The e-thots of yesteryear did everything imaginable for nothing more than access to a bottomless keg. Twitter didn't exist, OnlyFans wasn't a thought; It was just a campus full of 18-year-olds on the hunt for their next case of rabid vaginitis.
If only Marvel put as much effort into a post-End Game movie, as this group did into exploring the midlife crisis of a fictitious soccer mom. Just trap Ant Man in Woodman's ass and film the escape for 2 hours. #stillbetterthanQuantumania
It looks like someone trying to parallel park a Baskin Robbins truck in New York City. Which is ironic cause squinting from this angle reveals some sort of inbred squidward ice cream bar. Think about that before tagging in your tube sock.
At this point, I don't even question human behavior. The only thing separating us from being narrated by David Attenborough, are complicated sneakers and semi-automatic weapons. Turns out the Internet may have been a mistake after all.
