I've seen a lot of desperation in my day... but damn near 4 fucking hours of mid-production skin flicks trying to pass themselves off as revenge porn? I would say the Internet has officially reached a new low... but buzzfeed.com still exists.
How/Why semi-concious females go on the hunt for ding dongs that can literally rearrange their organs is beyond my knowledge. Clearly Arya Fae's parents didn't raise no bitch. Now... call Shaquille o'Neal and lets finish this snuff film right.
I'm digging the pre-sodimizing acting. That's what porn is missing: A relatable leading actress that's been kicked out of Big Bang Theory's catering truck. Twice.
aye, I'm thinking it might be best if you restrict all incoming traffic to the front of your body. Either that, or stop shopping for clientele at zoo entrances. Another few years of this and even a Jewish butcher won't be discounting that meat pile.
And by gangbang I mean one single sexually inept man losing his virginity, while Oscar De Lahoya's 2 cousins spectate. Only thing missing is a Mariachi band and that one token black guy repeatedly screaming "wurlstar". Cut and reshoot, thx.
Oh it's that girl again. You know... the only female that has danced on the line of fucking the mentally challenged for so long, you've now become attracted to people that shop at Walmart? We truly have nobody but ourselves to blame.
Some women need size to get off. Others, a $12.00 shopping spree at Moe's Tex Mex Grill. Then there's Kenzie Reeves who needs no more than half a mini vienna sausage to send her convulsing back to the baby Gap her wardrobe is from.
Nothing gets the peanut gallery talking quite like simultaneous acts of public indecency - so here's 3 girls doing just that. That's right, three as in the number of times I jack off to each episode of Ally McBeal. #skeletonsneedlovetoo #noh8
Wanna make ur shitty demo reels better? Feature the organic instrumentals only a Greenbay Packers fan can truly appreciate. Thats the way to the Internets heart.
This girl has a clitoral overload immediately following an impromptu canyon yodeling. This is the wwhere I'm supposed to cut the sleeves off my shirt and call her a slut, but I'd rather comfort her while sniffing her butt. It's called romance.
Call her what you will: Gianna Dior, Divine Box... I prefer the moniker "the reason I have to apply aloe vera to my penis every 3-5 hours". Never before has a pornstar made me proud of the reward points I earned shopping exclusively at Walgreens.
Nice collection. REAL nice. But it's girl 2 in the gallery that really wets my whistle. The kinda female that has wall-mounted awards for her swallow job philanthropy.
Ever see the movie The Cable Guy'? Me neither, but if they wanted to make a porn spinoff with a heterosexual storyline... it would probably look something like this.
Consider this both a tutorial and realty check for making proper life decisions. update: apparently the backlash from this video drove her to re-brand and start doing dry-anal scenes at home lol. Her new Paisley Pepper account is HERE
To say she's "in over her head this time" would be a bit of an understatement. Becky can't even get horizontal for more than 18 seconds before homeboy has her clitoris begging for mercy like me halfway into Venom last night.
Pretty slick combination of fuckery and remorse going on here. side note: This site makes this kind of compilation video for every update they post (among all their other efukt-inspired edits) and that's not just cool... it's COOL AS ICE
Looking like Chris Bale from The Machinist, while your S/O gets a mouthful of bonerschnitzil. Exactly how you shouldn't spend the night after visiting grandma.
From the clearance section of BackPage.com comes an escort sporting bed bugs, a wonky titty, and a heart of gold. Her entire scene is just one cluster fuck of fail.
That's it. As far as I'm concerned the line between memes and real life officially doesn't exist anymore. Bring on the moth gangbangs and bowsette ejaculations.
Turns out those 'female respondents only 'ads on Craigslist yield interesting results. Specifically in the "bobbing for Alabama crab apples" department.
