A number of ding dongs not normally found outside of a Twitter holiday party combine powers to set a record for Carter Cruise. But it's not the volume that matters here - it's the permanent brain damage. You'll see what I mean lol...
Her name is "Alisonfire" but I prefer the moniker "reason I have to buy 2-ply toilet paper in bulk". Fun Fact #1: She's famous for making the world wait half a decade for wiener-on-vag action. Fun Fact #2: 173,000 of her Pornhub views are from me.
Fast Food: Some go for the convenience. Others, to test the durability of their Flushmaster 3000. But a select few request a real happy meal. #beyondmeat
That would be the one & only Hannah Hays. A girl that has managed to perfectly blend the words "fun fuck" with "3 generations of inbreeding". More of her HERE.
Apparently Chumpo thinks the worst time on Earth to go limper than wet toilet paper is worth filming. Sorry pal, you can brag about teh dollar store sluts all you want: If you can't fuck 'em, your about as useful as Charlie Sheen at a blood drive.
Some guy that considers dollar store tattoos an art form bangs the shame out of the last girl that should be on his ding donger. After the 15th time he says "look at the camera, it begins to feel more like Crazyshit video than a Pornhub video.
Olive Garden's hostess of the month unequivocally accepts defeat and calls an audible after a meager 4 mins on Labron's pocket mongoose. In other words: the end result of seeking vaginal salvation on blacksingles.com. Becky was warned.
Somehow, someway the degeneracy of clickbait titles has continued to grow. I'm not looking forward to the influx of "trans-abled cousin secretly films butt sex tape with the neighbors mailman and blackmails me with it" videos in 2020.
Interesting approach to entertainment. It's like Robot Chicken lost it's virginity to a Vietnamese midget. note: crazyshit makes this kinda compilation every update (among all their other efukt-inspired edits) and that's not just cool... it's frosty.
Not since raiding grandpa's spunk trunk have I seen amateur video with such questionably high production value. Im down tho, it's got integrity. Know who doesnt have integrity? These sorry sacks of Internet-begging token dumpsters.
And that's about 30 more than the average heterosexual male will need to reach peak yogurt arch. If there was a hall of fame for "Reasons I Have to use a Magic Eraser on my Ceiling" this would be on top. Directly underneath this clown show.
Symptom #37 that you've graduated from everyday camgirl, to fully fledged bucket list fuck: You actively shoot, edit and upload a video of your oyster farm getting shucky ducky'd for all the degenerates of the world to see. quack quack
Guillermo del Toro and his production company have some fucking explaining to do. I don't know what I just watched but personally, I think he should find a way to cast the Olsen twins in the sequel and let the tapioca fly. Think outside the box.
Nothing quite spells C-O-L-L-E-G-E-L-I-F-E like a supposed Navy Seal turned male pornstar challenging 80+ CSUN students to a backyard beatdown whilst completely naked and armed with nothing but a slowly deflating boner. HAHA.
Mark Zucklesberg Jr. gets air-dropped into their city for one mission and one mission alone: Lay down the kind of pipe Mike Haggar used to clean up an entire city. He may look like the Pythagorean theorem but trust me, this is no sex noob.
Welcome to the world of implied incestual videos. Against all better judgement, it's managed to take the Internet's #1 spot as go-to spank material. Here's a tip tho: They're all faker than Sylvester Stallone's piss test. But this one...
This might be the one video that makes no-nut-November seem like a reasonable activity participate in. It will also peak your curiosity of trigonometry and gravity.
Pretty sure this one is a complete setup, but she's definitely been down this road before. The "a guy tried to pay me for sex in Canadian pennies so I punched his cock" is a reaction that can only be experienced - not learned. Ask me how I know.
It's one thing to play the left-handed banjo for your girlfriend's bestest friend. It's another to have said girlfriend keep that best friend hydrated mid-vertical jump. Where's the fuckin donate button? It's time to Bitcoin this legend into retirement.
Practically 2 hours of social-media influenced acts of whoring - so unprecedented you might have to get the Jiffy Pop ready and clear an afternoon. Don't be fooled by those smiles tho... their love for Internet anonymity dies here and dies now.
Becky LaStarbuck's safe space gets invaded by some degenerate clawing his way to 500 likes and subscribes... only to find the find the school's biggest petri dish instead. Does she: 1) Demand he stop 2) Compare dick sizes or 3) Not budge
Daddy-issue appearance without the feminist dick-hating. Not a bad piece of flib flab. Would I take her out on a date to Wendy's? No. Would I want to use her vaginal utopia to power an indoor slip and slide? Hell to the mother fuckin maybe.
The Midwest: Some go for affordable street drugs. Others, go to make videos that can fuel an entire season of Dr. Phil. This guy does both. 1st he loads up on Slurm, then he shows his sister-cousin who's the boss of this double-wide. A role model?
