Clearly it's a setup. But there's no doubt in my mind, in some dimly lit corner of a trailer park that doesn't show up on Google maps, this exact scenario is playing out surrounded by Newports & half-eaten cans of Costco's finest meatball ravioli.
Not exactly the most unexpected chain of events from a woman that comes less prepared for war than whoevers handicap stall I invaded at Waffle House last week. Sorry Wheels, but the janitor bucket doesn't meet my capacity standard.
TikTok Porn: These zero effort chicks are about as exciting as an audio book of Alex Jones customizing a footlong at Subway. But throw in a few paywall'd parasocial relationships and suddenly they become a legends in the making.
I'm getting the impression this lady is no stranger to shotgunning a couple servings of Butthole du Jour after a succulent Chinese meal. But hit 88mph, and her brain damages faster than a Discord moderator DM's a bathtub streamer.
Not sure a gap between your eyes wide enough for New York City to charge to park inside of, is on my list of "boner material". But uhh... I'm open to new things.
uhh I'm no expert, but I think it might be time to pack it up and find a safer hobby. Like... collecting Pokemon cards, or maybe building hydrogen bombs for example.
Dude is hung like an Idaho potato, and she's got the kind of crazy eyes that would send Steve Buscemi running. Normally this kind of inbreeding would be kept behind closed doors until a Twitter hashtag is created for it... yet here we are.
Short of being an extra on Rocco's Retirement Village Tour (coming 2035) - I'm not sure how this talent comes in handy. Never knowing the feels of a consensual relationship maybe? An existence without having to shop for birthday gifts?
Flattery was never my strong point... and it still isn't. Fuckin room looks like it smells worse than wet Newports, and she's chowing down like it's grandma's old fashion applesauce recipe. Your fellow Walmartians will be hearing about this.
They should have attached some sort of disclaimer to this drug fueled fire hazard. Let me tell you something from experience my friends; Any time a woman hits double digit speeds, you're in fucking trouble. Approach technique with caution.
Dressed like a common house pet and her asshole looks like it graduated from a 3-month course in sign language judging by those contractions after the 9:00 mark. Go ahead & tell me again why you aren't buying dating girls from Moscow.
Imagine spending weeks convincing your corner store Karen to accept the 2vs1 handicap match, only to sideline her with a cock that gets cease and desist letters from Nike. Just flip that thing over & hit it with a snowmobile again, you'll be aite.
She claims this is legit, and it's the first time "meeting" this dude. Okay lady, sure. And the gangrene I got from "introducing" myself to a stripper that considers Canadian pennies a form of payment will just go away with soap and water.
An understandable request... until you hit the 2:50 mark and realize something has gone terribly wrong. I'd be a little less concerned about cornholing, and more worried about whatever safari animal got ahold of that thing before her.
You can see her frantic postings here. Watching her bait the socially inept into a monthly subscription reminds me of a black widow documentary I saw once. All that's missing is David Attenborough and my bottomless bowl of chic fil a sauce.
Gotta be his wife. The 100 assaults posted to his channel all involve the same target. Considering the site he chose to upload to, you'd expect at least one incident involving adult diapers and a petting zoo. But nope; it never happens.
Pretty fkin amazing proportions to be honest. Any man would willingly gorge the frappuccinos out of her symmetrical shitbasket just to say they were in the same room as her tits. You can go ahead and consider your penis retired my good man.
I want to believe the lore this time. Any girl still rockin a release shirt from the gen 1 Playstation launch is probably no stranger to swiping right on family members.
