A couple mistakes were definitely made here. Both when she chose to get this desperate for muh content and when maw and paw decided smoking gas station weed was a good idea during the night of fertilization. Spoiler alert: It wasn't.
I'm all for creative ways to exercise your peanut... but this couple have a pretty fucking distorted definition of eroticism. I got halfway through their catalogue and all it made me want to do is install Fortnite, then set my computer on fire.
That's definitely the face of a girl that has traded oral sex for a combo meal at Burger King more than once in her life. So, with absolutely zero evidence at my disposal I'm gonna go ahead and label this as authentic. Go with the fantasy.
One day I'm gonna edit some home videos into this series. A night behind Tim Hortons comes to mind. She had the kinda lips that swung around like a basset hound's ears during a tropical storm. I never looked at recycling the same again.
A penis that probably needs it's own life boat, and an insanely high tolerance for pain. If there ever was an instructional video on why to lock the fucking door in public places, I'd declare these two just laid the groundwork for a mf'n sequel.
You would think one day in the future a video of your significant other being railroaded in the shallow end of a pool human sized petri dish would return to haunt you. And if u do, u'd be right. She'll never show her face in Walmart again.
Bum-rushing your pseudo family members: Apparently it's the stepping stone for every 40-something female that wants to continue her pornographic legacy. Most ladies have enough respect to decline. But this mom has a different approach...
hmm judging by the circumferences and elasticity of both buttholes, it's clear the subplot here is act of revenge. Dude definitely knows his way around a Wendy's.
I kinda want to go down the rabbit hole. Anytime someone(s) makes middle aged woman squeal like a 2for1 Homegoods sale, all three of my balls start tingling and I'm interested. Unfortunately, nothing short of DNA is going to identify them.
Maybe "refund" is the wrong word here, as it suggests someone would actually give this oxycontin adventurer their hard earned shillings for sexual favors. They don't. Trust me. I've been inside a Walmart parking lot on a Saturday night.
Pretty much the complete opposite material I expected to find on a website that considers Afghani shotgun beheadings a form of roleplay. Then again, judging by the facial expressions he might be practicing the Missouri Drain-O. But I digress.
Normally girls that willingly accept this much upper respiratory abuse are still trying to trade in their Marlboro Miles for for walkmans and swiss army knives.
She's Demi Hawks and you'll have to clear out an appointment or three to truley appreciate her. What she lacks in tits, she makes up for in "copy/pasted tiktok thrift store makeup configuration I want to use as a communal speed bump" field.
There's actually two clips here, so let me explain: It starts off with a few raised eyebrows, and ends with me wondering if we're being too harsh when it comes to Pakistani karaoke. I know that sentence makes no sense... but it will in a minute.
Lackluster, but you can't say Jimbo isn't getting his money's worth. That sixty five second performance is second only to Debbie Smith's Jump Rebound Aerobics.
Took a minute, but that's the same girl from clout delivery guy video. I recognize that copy/paste build-a-bear tiktoker paint by numbers fashion sense anywhere.
The Ralph Wiggum "heart rips in half" moment is at the 3:40 mark. Last time I saw a middle-aged woman roll her eyes like that was riding Kang & Kodos Twirl 'n' Hurl after a hearty breakfast of Malt Liquor. My mom wont talk to me anymore.
There were definitely a couple moments of genuine concern on her face here. Somewhere in between the third and forth attempt to block the airway and force her to breath through her anus like a turtle [proof] she seems slightly distressed.
Is it porno? Or something that gets submitted to a performative art school as a final project? cause if ur waxin carrot to this shit, it may be time for intervention.
