idk where this is, but try it in the US of A and the situation will be immediately amplified a guy 1 Michelob Ultra away from a public rampage. That's a warning. Never underestimate a man with garbage bags full of [this shit] in his basement.
Walking into a dorm room that permeates the aroma of cocoa butter and D-cell batteries only has one of two outcomes. And both of them involve inoculations.
After viewing, one must ask themselves: A 41 second tutorial on the benefits of being single, or the effects of an ever increasing usage of high fructose corn syrup in western cuisine? Both? Perhaps marriage isn't for everyone after all.
What has worse camerawork than the og Blair Witch and leaves you wondering who the fuck wants this? No it's not Cloverfield, but refunds should be issued.
When ur cum face cant be distinguished from the unfortunate soul paid to scrub porcelain at Taco Bell on Cinco de Mayo, it may be time to reevaluate your idea of eroticism. Or just watch this techno freddy fuck instead. Like I give a bullcrap.
Don't know exactly who to blame here, but judging by her mannerisms it's safe to say this happens more often than transmitting STD's at a Taylor Swift concert.
Straight out of a Twilight fan club, Slim Jim has found himself between a promise and a dream. I'm talking a cool $0 payout. Not even enough to send that haircut back to 2009 when being a furry without admitting to being a furry made it cool.
How many times have I said "mother of fuckin' AC Fucking Slater, this dude's custard cannon probably weighs more than her entire body" ? Ninety seven. How many times did I actually mean it in the literal sense? Zero. The streak is broken.
Solid 5/10? I can sympathize. East Euro impoverish-core decor? Understandable. What I'm throwing red flags on is her ability to look like she's being sodomized by an industrial fruit juicer every time he makes contact with her clitoris. #pass
[alaska zade] Interesting girl. Apparently she's a full blown carpet bombing lesbian that decided to make sex videos with her guy friends out of boredom and curiosity. The real time documenting is pretty unique. edit:she already quit lol.
Galaxy Gas Gwendolyn seems to have compromised her last functioning brain cell with some combination of synthetic drugs and pineapple White Claws. Chances of homey swiping right in a coastal city ever again? Absolutely fuckin zero. Probably.
Quite possibly the most egregious abuse of power to ever grace my 14" Compaq Presario computer monitor. Mind you, this is coming from a man that's sat through all 73 unfiltered minutes of Edward Penishands. My voice matters.
First time my ass. She's about as much a sex tape virgin as I am a calorie counter at an all you can eat Chinese buffet. And let me tell you Jack; I've taken more than one wok outta commission once the crab rangoon starts hittin trays. Respectfully.
