To my ever growing .07% female viewers: put on your bifocals and pay the fuck attention. This is what u DON'T do before getting married. Stay classy & save the dick-crazed cluster fuck swap parties for college girls and India.
Freshly szechuan'd Rick and Morty fans get the 3 Stooges treatment after discovering chaturbate.com. The smell of digital prostitution will eventually fade... but video of you juggling another man's donut glaze is f-o-r-e-v-e-r.
Before today I was absolutely certain of two critical things: 1: Blondes are inherently on the spectrum for autism. And 2: Cats are born assholes. Looks like my opinions have officially been reinforced. See her live HERE
I'm linking to her entire gallery of videos, but if your interest is in the fallopian tube rearrangement I've selected for the thumbnail: FRET NOT. Your chlamydia-flavored soccer mom awaits you at the end of this link.
19-years-old and doesn't know what a vagina is. But what they lack in anatomy classes they make up for in... well... nothing. Even combined these two are completely fucking useless & I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Great face. Nice body. But what really got me on board was the complete lack of logic. Look closely. No brains, no thoughts. So cute you'd almost forget this happens when they get more than half a can into their mouths.
Tina Belcher's safe space gets invaded by some dude taking his mushroom to the park, but accidentally found love instead. Does she: 1) Call da police 2) trade gazpacho recipes or c) take Shia Ladork's advice. This ones easy.
Interruption @10:06. And whats our heroes reaction? Going Wayne & Garth on his bashful costar. Don't feel too bad lady. Seeing as I just beat off to the 8 seconds of your howler monkey mother, you're still a star in my book.
A once thought to be lost classic resurfaces. Community college bro gets a pass on rent in exchange for clearing out the cobwebs from his landlady's minge, complete with awkward small talk and blacked.com fuck positions.
Gotta respect a guy that's more interested in his 50% Off Panda Express coupon, than questioning why his 18-year-old daughter is naked in front of the family webcam. Balancing priorities are an integral part of fatherhood.
Don't let that lack of muscle tone fool you: She's a protein assassin. We all have a calling in life... and after skull-fucking the basic multiplication skills out of herself, I think we all know what her future holds. ยป networking.
Three years of forcing porn producers to scotch guard everything in a 2-mile radius was no problemo. But ~60 secs of churning butt butter? GAME OVER. Ladies and gents: I present to you the enigma of Asian scrag hags.
This guy might as well be the Conor McGregor of butthole dysfunction, and today he's teaching Relationships 101. Adopt his patented "Oklahoma whiff n' dip", and I promise, ur lady will never think about crying misogyny again.
Kenzie Reeves. aka porn's newest 78 pound answer to the most important question of 2017: "how far can we go with incestuous storylines?" A sexual Joanna Lannister if you will. More ridiculous facial expressions HERE.
Props to guy laying pipe. I haven't heard a teenager whine that ambiguously since that time I was caught defecating in the Blockbuster drop-box in protest to late fees on my rental of Johnny Mnemonic. FULL SCENE HERE
'memember HIM? Looks like he's back for round 2. Not sure why he longs for the approval of random black chicks. His dick is a drizzle compared to the tsunamis these bitches are addicted to. Time for a new hobby, Bernard.
Want proof that humans are all about charity? Look no further friendo. This charitable fuck offers a nervous local the ultimate handout - a free play on his wife's arcade box. It's generosity like this that really warms my heart.
