When ur cum face cant be distinguished from the unfortunate soul paid to scrub porcelain at Taco Bell on Cinco de Mayo, it may be time to reevaluate your idea of eroticism. Or just watch this techno freddy fuck instead. Like I give a bullcrap.
Straight out of a Twilight fan club, Slim Jim has found himself between a promise and a dream. I'm talking a cool $0 payout. Not even enough to send that haircut back to 2009 when being a furry without admitting to being a furry made it cool.
How many times have I said "mother of fuckin' AC Fucking Slater, this dude's custard cannon probably weighs more than her entire body" ? Ninety seven. How many times did I actually mean it in the literal sense? Zero. The streak is broken.
Solid 5/10? I can sympathize. East Euro impoverish-core decor? Understandable. What I'm throwing red flags on is her ability to look like she's being sodomized by an industrial fruit juicer every time he makes contact with her clitoris. #pass
[alaska zade] Interesting girl. Apparently she's a full blown carpet bombing lesbian that decided to make sex videos with her guy friends out of boredom and curiosity. The real time documenting is pretty unique. edit:she already quit lol.
Galaxy Gas Gwendolyn seems to have compromised her last functioning brain cell with some combination of synthetic drugs and pineapple White Claws. Chances of homey swiping right in a coastal city ever again? Absolutely fuckin zero. Probably.
Quite possibly the most egregious abuse of power to ever grace my 14" Compaq Presario computer monitor. Mind you, this is coming from a man that's sat through all 73 unfiltered minutes of Edward Penishands. My voice matters.
First time my ass. She's about as much a sex tape virgin as I am a calorie counter at an all you can eat Chinese buffet. And let me tell you Jack; I've taken more than one wok outta commission once the crab rangoon starts hittin trays. Respectfully.
[Lama Grey] up at bat again. This (French?) testicle gremlin is simply way too popular to not follow up on. I mean, just look at her list of interests: "Dorama, anime, horses, video game. Walk, smoking weed. Play with cock) "chefskiss.gif
If this is happening in the walls of average American bedrooms, then The Nature Channel should start updating those sex ed videos. I didn't see a single antelope.
What's his secret to success? It's simple really. Just inject 75 milligrams of Dbol directly into your scrotum every 3 days, and you too can gallivant around the neighborhood in seek of sub-500 TikToker's in dire need of a hospital visit.
I'd be a little less worried about the buttsex and more concerned with whatever off-road vehicle ran over his dick and fled the scene. The fuck is going on down there my guy? Even the lions on Animal Planet don't treat their meat that badly.
Advertise whatever sigma male, MGTOW LARP fantasy you want. But let me tell ya something... you just haven't lived a fulfilling life until walking in on your solid 3/10 getting shined up by the guy who considers Volkswagen a luxury vehicle.
Supplementing your lifestyle with an OnlyFans side hustle starts to make a lot of sense when the dichotomy between the most boring white-wall environment and the kind of tits that end silver anniversary marriages hits you point blank. #girlpwr
Bigfoot's hypo-allergenic sister refuses to adopt basic hygiene practices, but doesn't think twice about letting a complete stranger play a tune on her stink whistle. [raw mind you] Perhaps we really have gone past the point of no return.
Nice titties. Spunky attitude. But what really sold me was lack of both girth and length on her costar. Look closely - you can almost pinpoint the exact moment his miniature taquito roll ends her confidence in the male gender for all eternity.
Is there some sort of hyper-whoring rights of passage everyone seems to be speedrunning that I'm aware of? idk. But what I do know is her butthole at the 10:00 mark looks like the average New York City pothole. We call that #winning
