When you're moist enough to be lubed under water, and have more lung capacity than a Navy Seal - you should be recognized for your natural born gifts. Call Emma Stone & tell there's been a recount for that Oscar Award.
Swinging: A behavior generally reserved for degenerate adults that need something to do in between collecting food stamps and using Redbox. The girl are always a mess. Proof: Skeletor's deflated balloon knot @ 8:11 mark.
Actually he might not be a chauffeur at all. But that handful of good wood & her look of disgust are legit. Probably the most offensive thing she's seen since Whole Foods forgot to use the right pronouns on their avocados haha
When all your knowledge of sexual intercourse comes from Shake Weight infomercials, this is the result. Also: We may have just uncovered a skill so damn useless, even California colleges won't offer a degree for it.
18 & doesn't know what an orgasm is. But here, all that matters is the size of your imagination... and truthfully speaking, dude got a fat one. Emphasis on proportions. That clit looks like a deflated water balloon glued to straw...
Unwritten rules of the practicing date rapist: #1 Lack of hygiene, #2 Look as much like George Lopez as possible and #3 Outdoing WWE's last PPV n both precision and dynamic move sets. Looks like this scumquat is 3 for 3.
Cute Girls + Public Exploration: It's a combo 2nd only to Souplantation and Charmin Ultra Soft. Add the rush of getting caught busting one out next to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and you got wife material my friend.
LIFE LESSON #387: If your name ends in Gomez, Garcia or Gonzales - stay the fuck away from Craigslist ads with the words interesting trades in them. The 50 pesos are temporary. A disfigured esophagus is forever, BROTHER.
Antonio does in 1 minute what takes the customer service line at Walmart an entire afternoon to do: Completely crushes and eradicate a white girl's spirit. Don't get swindled by the thumbnail, you have not seen this version.
Kinda pointless to be hung like the exhaust pipe of a Lincoln Continental if u can't keep it submerged in teen cervix longer than a hot dog commercial.
Sadie Pop You can go ahead and just consider this neurotic little twat the Meryl Streep of fake incest porn. She method acts, has a room temperature IQ and is just hoping to get the next Academy Award for muffin stuffin.
Schizoid games a Tinder.com soft-6 with an afternoon of bumper cars and Red Lobster... only to slip a couple of Oxycontin in her Admiral's Feast. The end result? 100% unadulterated, unfiltered autism around the 9:30 mark.
