Life Lesson #27: If you have worse rectal control than one of the golden girls; seek out another hobby. Last time I saw someone pay for skidmarking this abusive he was ultimately banned from Chipotle at the corporate level. (it was me) [more]
23 years of positive thinking and rectal (in)tolerance have manifested themselves in a mint condition 2024 episode of live webcam failures, goofs and all around chucklefuck situations that probably didn't transpire as originally expected...
As fate would have it; You can't enjoy every hole with the help of pharmaceuticals and Captain Morgan. It's like the Internet is here to teach us something every day.
Sure, u can be some cookie cutter piss sickening wannabe & slingshot ur tickle stick into ur significant other at a reasonable speed. Or even, into the neighbor's litter box perhaps. But only real men would dare to take the road less traveled.
That look at the 2:25 mark. It's like the last remaining neuron in his brain suddenly activated again, and then immediately committed suicide when it realized what the fuck was going on. You can't Reddit poll your way out of this one, Stewart.
Not the plan of attack I recommend you try on the misses. But when ur baiting donations, anything that doesn't run on a diesel engine seems to be fair game.
hmm. either our male protaganist has been studying the teachings of master Splinter, or me thinks she's been down this hazelnut covered highway before.
That was about as much accidental as the front page of Reddit. Still, her reactions are kinda priceless. Particularly the "there's a pack of wallabys gnawing the inside of my sphincter" look that is persistently peppered throughout this interaction.
Honestly the resemblance is kinda spot on, all the way down to twinkle in her eye. But it's not her. I know because the only thing spitting was whatever mythical third testicle this guy was pulling reserves out of. What the fuck was that ending?
The amount of damage I've seen this girl put her genitals through is too damn high. Maybe when that trap door looses all elasticity and she's forced into another hobby, she can choose something safer. Like gardening. Or fighting wolverines.
Ass gets treated like the bed liner of Ford F-150 with 8 digits on the clock, yet she remains calm and collected. Even goes as far as to request moar dick. Lady; Any further into that monkey biscuit, and this will be classified a medical procedure.
All I learned from this is a 2-pack of Michelob Ultra gives all the confidence one needs to perform the fudge nudge. And today, all education is free. Practice what you see here and I promise those size-11 Tinder girls will never "LMAO" u again.
Upon closer inspection; my advice would be to stop worrying about further damage to your internals, and start wondering why the lips of your blown out o-ring seem to be growing some sort of subdermal chewing device. #drphil
Not the first time this hypebeast has staged an attack on Cornhusk Island... and clearly it won't be his last. Feel free to experiment next time man, Maybe deposit a Twinkie before going dark? It's called "The Moist Gremlin". Russia invented it.
Awards for surviving the Messy Martinez and only drives off-road? It's not every day we find girls worthy of an all-expenses paid trip to Red Robin... but she's here.
goblin mode; the behavior of someone who wants to feel comfortable doing whatever they want, not caring about trying to be clean, healthy, attractive or about impressing other people. [PART I]
Imagine the only entry on your IMDB page was "Buttfucked by Jackie Chan while frat bros cheer the herpes outbreak". Well if ur Amanda, u don't have to imagine.
She rly claimed her stink whistle has less mileage on it than the Peloton in
Ozzy Osbourne's basement, yet doesn't even call a timeout when Woody goes straight to the A. But when it comes time to sample some French vanilla, she calls it quits.
You know, for a woman that has made a living documenting the abuse of her sour pickle pocket I must say it's still in pristine condition. It might need an alignment, but she obviously adheres to a very strict maintenance care plan.
I think crammin ham should be saved for more important celebratory moments in a girl's life. Like, marriage. Or getting a ghost wipe after a Pizza Hut dinner box.
The primary drive train has definitely failed the Carfax report more than once, but whatever summer tires she's running on the back make up for it. I haven't seen grip that impressive since Holmes clutching Superbowl XLIII in the forth quarter.
Much like everything Marvel has turned into a TV series; This starts out pretty interesting, but 30 seconds in you realize you've seen this shit before. Then you masturbate anyway and have a good night's rest before the credits start rolling.
Could we actually be looking at the very origins of the cornhole crusher himself? Might not be the first video, but this definitely has a mid-90's vibe. Back when you could buy rectal intolerance and Shark Bite fruit snacks for less than a dollar.
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