Not even afraid of having her pork chop crotch box online forever. If this isn't the standard for 2023's independent woman, I don't wanna know what is. Now make sure to save that OF cash. The Valtrex boxes aren't gonna overnight themselves.
uhh I'm starting to notice a trend with these PornForce videos. 1. Sign a girl that weighs less than a bag of Idaho baked potatoes. 2. Bash the cervix. 3. Choose a thumbnail that fully captures the moment they actually shit themselves. I dig it.
Is there some correlation between 'popular simp army girls' and sex acts less interesting than Dwayne Johnson getting 18 unsupervised minutes with a garden gnome? These hype machines never seem to deliver and that's on ya mommas.
Forget all the critters the cheating girl is leaving behind on Guillermo's couch. I remember that little [-piss wizard-] in the second clip. It was one of the few times in life I took a step back & wondered if Germany should still have Internet access.
Probably just another one of those groundbreakers that stage their room to look like the most unsuspecting place to swing some sausage, then places the camera in one fixed position to really drive in that boomer traffic to their OnlyFarmers.
Day 1 D-sucker foolishly assumes her job is over and breathes a sigh of relief. Only to be shot in the mouth with another wad of Esposito's gold reserve. A choice is needed: gulp, or ruin Macy's finest Egyptian bed sheets. Her response is expected.
I'm all for creative ways to exercise your peanut... but this couple have a pretty fucking distorted definition of eroticism. I got halfway through their catalogue and all it made me want to do is install Fortnite, then set my computer on fire.
That's definitely the face of a girl that has traded oral sex for a combo meal at Burger King more than once in her life. So, with absolutely zero evidence at my disposal I'm gonna go ahead and label this as authentic. Go with the fantasy.
One day I'm gonna edit some home videos into this series. A night behind Tim Hortons comes to mind. She had the kinda lips that swung around like a basset hound's ears during a tropical storm. I never looked at recycling the same again.
A penis that probably needs it's own life boat, and an insanely high tolerance for pain. If there ever was an instructional video on why to lock the fucking door in public places, I'd declare these two just laid the groundwork for a mf'n sequel.
You would think one day in the future a video of your significant other being railroaded in the shallow end of a pool human sized petri dish would return to haunt you. And if u do, u'd be right. She'll never show her face in Walmart again.
Bum-rushing your pseudo family members: Apparently it's the stepping stone for every 40-something female that wants to continue her pornographic legacy. Most ladies have enough respect to decline. But this mom has a different approach...
Normally girls that willingly accept this much upper respiratory abuse are still trying to trade in their Marlboro Miles for for walkmans and swiss army knives.
Took a minute, but that's the same girl from clout delivery guy video. I recognize that copy/paste build-a-bear tiktoker paint by numbers fashion sense anywhere.
The Ralph Wiggum "heart rips in half" moment is at the 3:40 mark. Last time I saw a middle-aged woman roll her eyes like that was riding Kang & Kodos Twirl 'n' Hurl after a hearty breakfast of Malt Liquor. My mom wont talk to me anymore.
There were definitely a couple moments of genuine concern on her face here. Somewhere in between the third and forth attempt to block the airway and force her to breath through her anus like a turtle [proof] she seems slightly distressed.
I'm positive this is the same woman that keeps invading my Instagram feed with videos about having squirrels up her ass, or publicly shaming herself over having the vaginal odor of a Sudanese outhouse. So... it was advertising for this? I guess?
One of those moments I can overlook the obvious health code violations because the performance is legendary. Be sure to leave them a ★★★★★ Yelp review. Something along the lines of: "Service was fast. Getting pubic lice was faster.".
I was wondering what happened to the dreads girl at the :30 mark. Turns out she changed her name, but is [- still going strong -] Consider hitting up her page and adding a few clicks to her depressingly low engagement. That ass deserves more.
From this angle it looks like the kind of video set up by a guy 1 bent rare Pokemon card away from having a complete nervous breakdown. Lesson learned... I guess?
What in the Tennessee whore house is going on here? Amphetamines? Autism? An unhealthy addiction to Abercrombie Labor Day sales? idk. but a sequel seems less likely than Lizzo being type casted outside of a Max Hardcore tribute movie.
That 11-8 probably hits different when your floor manager acts like shucking his corn cob is a social activity. A note to all Burger King employees reading this: pls do not attempt. Chicken fries are all I have left to look forward to in this life.
Sleep on xhamster comments and you miss gems like this: "Pplummer69: Done this a good bit myself with homeless girls living in buildings here in town fucked and used them real good for just a few $$$. I live in Johnstown Pennsylvania"
I could be in the minority here, but Barnum & Bailey should be kept as far away as possible from any and all sexual situations. If I wanted to be repeatedly violated by a clown, I'd pay for a day trading discord. Pretty amazing body tho. RELEVANT