7 (read: seven, as in the number of times I've been kicked out of Burger King for "unnecessary use of a urinal") acts of public lewdness not even I suggest copying, especially that last one. Let's just say: Raging Waters will never be the same again.
Today we go on a journey to a time forgotten. Shoutout to Julian for being a role model during my college years. That man's lust for turning fallopian tubes into tier-3 tuna casserole should have earned the Martha Stewart seal of approval.
bottoming out: "When the penis or other instrument used in a vagina, hits the back wall and can not go in any further." or better known as: "getting lil jon'd"
Found this gem in comments: "He has basketball shorts on with no underwear and I am so distracted by his big fat monster dick print that I am on the ground from a hard punch before I know it and he is taking my phone and running away"
And by lesson, I mean negotiating better pay than $1.00 Wendy's Frosty coupons when agreeing to a scene that damages more pussy than a Texas animal rescue.
I don't know who she is but the checklist has already been maxed out: Puts out on the first date. Isn't afraid to go full commando, and has absolutely no respect for the domestic leatherette option in the Suburban you borrowed from mom.
Can't say I'm used to getting these kinds of requests outside of a FarmersOnly match, so color me pleasantly surprised. At that and her nipple symmetry. Not being required to own a forklift prior to date #1 is also a plus I'm not overlooking.
Leaking classified information? Murder? Shit, even International Dick Cricket Infestation would be on my list sooner than one Tinder gremlin subjecting herself to 31 separate 8-man gangbangs in the fucking barracks. Yet... here we are.
Not even two minutes of clitoral stimulation and this Becky's pork chop piss flaps start dancing around like a mother fuckin trash compactor. I'm talking vaginal contractions, YUGE ones. So big even her sphincter joins in on the macarena.
$10.00 and the final remnants of my Culver's cheese curds says she uses dipshit phrases like "bussin" and "no cap" and "i'll kill you if I find you hiding in the backseat of my Toyota Corolla again, mother fucker". Typical zoomer attitude.
Check out the rest of the series and then come back. We're going to meet a girl who has never blowjob'd before, plus a man who has a breakdown. While fucking a cake. So go get your little sister 'cause it's gonna be a really swag time. fr no cap
I can't prove this was filmed in the heart of America's septic tank. But if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and whores itself out to 17 live Instagram viewers it probably originated from The Garden State. A little wisdom from Grampa Efukt.
Every so often you come across a video that's so revolutionary, so authentic, it makes u wonder what the purpose of life really is. This is not one of those videos.
Sounds like dude is trying to improve his APM in Starcraft 2, and Becky can't keep her mouth off the biscuit for more than 8 consecutive seconds? Double her rent and change the locks. It's the only way to get your zergling game back on point.
This is about as unintentional as me using Cowabunga Bay Water's wave pool as my own personal porta potty. Apologies to visitors between years of 1997 - 2015.
I definitely went down the rabbit hole on this one. Looks like we have an amateur porn site that *gasp* features real amateur porn and not big studio fakes, shot on dads Nokia flip phone. Ya just earned a lifetime bookmark from me fleshed.com.
WTF @ that last clip. There's a part cut out where he says "that was fun and amazing". No Bruno. Reading the digestive Necronomicon (white castle menu) before visiting a public pool is fun & amazing. What happened here is deplorable.
Can't imagine how many Walmart bed sheets had to be scrapped during her rookie years training for this moment. Clearly dealing with a team player here.
original title:selfie to make your day better. Listen bitch; 7 hrs ago it seemed like a good idea to eat 64 slices of American Cheese & wash it down with gin. Unless u have a sewing kit & extensive knowledge of battle wounds, ur request is denied.
If farm-faced white women monetizing their anal virginity is any indicator of a recession, I'd say we're right at the tip of an iceberg that will make the dotcom bubble look like like a joke. Expect a lot more of this until Jim Cramer capitulates.
Big wtf @ #3. She taps out, instigates a fist fight and then concludes that all in all it was "fun and amazing". No lady. Going diarrhea in a community pool overun by minorities is fun and amazing. What happened to u was unceremoniously brutal.
Dude has an 85/15 ball-to-cock ratio and a girlfriend that could vacuum a house without ever plugging a cord in. Should I be jealous or order some saline or... ?
bbKitten. She's 5 foot 2, barely 100lbs and every time that sphincter is put under pressure, her expression looks like Billie Eilish after being told she has to stop looking like a chain-smoking trailer park supervisor for more than 18 seconds.
