Not exactly the most unexpected chain of events from a woman that comes less prepared for war than whoevers handicap stall I invaded at Waffle House last week. Sorry Wheels, but the janitor bucket doesn't meet my capacity standard.
Gotta admit, this girl's body alone deserves way more attention than it's getting. Her tits alone are putting the entire SSRI industry on watch. More videos [HERE]
Commenter: "The 1st girls name is Chelsey ****, the last girls name is Mariah **** and they are sisters. I would like to know who the lady is on the back though."
TikTok Porn: These zero effort chicks are about as exciting as an audio book of Alex Jones customizing a footlong at Subway. But throw in a few paywall'd parasocial relationships and suddenly they become a legends in the making.
Gru is equipped with the swagger of an inbred sheep herder. Apparently in the world of callgirl hanky panky, "suave" is not an option. Sure enough, she learns the hard way: never fuck with a man that knows every episode of ALF by heart.
I'm getting the impression this lady is no stranger to shotgunning a couple servings of Butthole du Jour after a succulent Chinese meal. But hit 88mph, and her brain damages faster than a Discord moderator DM's a bathtub streamer.
Not sure a gap between your eyes wide enough for New York City to charge to park inside of, is on my list of "boner material". But uhh... I'm open to new things.
The name is Dakota Taylor. Shot a handful of scenes and bailed. Built with the same dimensions as an Amibo, and has an unhealthy addiction to using her fart toaster as a meat locker. In other words; We lost the world's most perfect woman.
uhh I'm no expert, but I think it might be time to pack it up and find a safer hobby. Like... collecting Pokemon cards, or maybe building hydrogen bombs for example.
Unfortunately I can't confirm it's authenticity. But it wouldn't be the first time someone filmed their significant other giving the ole dunkachino to a minimum wage stranger, and if 2022 has taught me anything - it will not be the last.
idk what the fuck else to call this, but the amount of naturally occurring meat on that page is too damn high. The look on the second to last girl is a familiar one though. Something that involves hermit crabs, and Bill Cosby's email address.
So, what are we witnessing here? Her first attempt at delivering a beat down in meat town? Nervousness? I don't know, but think of all the value meals this skill could unlock if practiced enough. That's what Cobra Kai ultimately taught me.
Dude is hung like an Idaho potato, and she's got the kind of crazy eyes that would send Steve Buscemi running. Normally this kind of inbreeding would be kept behind closed doors until a Twitter hashtag is created for it... yet here we are.
Sorry hungry peasants trapped under the inflation line. It seems all that lab meat has been diverted. Now if you'll excuse me... I have to watch Interstellar again.
Short of being an extra on Rocco's Retirement Village Tour (coming 2035) - I'm not sure how this talent comes in handy. Never knowing the feels of a consensual relationship maybe? An existence without having to shop for birthday gifts?
Flattery was never my strong point... and it still isn't. Fuckin room looks like it smells worse than wet Newports, and she's chowing down like it's grandma's old fashion applesauce recipe. Your fellow Walmartians will be hearing about this.
They should have attached some sort of disclaimer to this drug fueled fire hazard. Let me tell you something from experience my friends; Any time a woman hits double digit speeds, you're in fucking trouble. Approach technique with caution.
Dressed like a common house pet and her asshole looks like it graduated from a 3-month course in sign language judging by those contractions after the 9:00 mark. Go ahead & tell me again why you aren't buying dating girls from Moscow.
Imagine spending weeks convincing your corner store Karen to accept the 2vs1 handicap match, only to sideline her with a cock that gets cease and desist letters from Nike. Just flip that thing over & hit it with a snowmobile again, you'll be aite.
She claims this is legit, and it's the first time "meeting" this dude. Okay lady, sure. And the gangrene I got from "introducing" myself to a stripper that considers Canadian pennies a form of payment will just go away with soap and water.
An understandable request... until you hit the 2:50 mark and realize something has gone terribly wrong. I'd be a little less concerned about cornholing, and more worried about whatever safari animal got ahold of that thing before her.
