As fate would have it, combining the genetics of a 1st-world pornstar and modern technology yields impressive results. Now if you'll excuse me I have to take a 7-second jump roping class and gouge my fucking eyes out with a melon baller.
Not sure the whole im dominating you so do what I say or else I punish u thing works when your body has visibly more estrogen in it than your partner. Let's shoot for a redo after a vigorous program of red meat and peeing standing up.
If we could go ahead and get an ID on her, that would be fantastic. Try to time it around the Black Friday sales on 10-packs of tube socks if possible. Appreciate it.
What happens when you combine the Czech Republic with Gordon Ramsay's internship program, and secure funding from George Soros? uhh, I'll let you know after my parents unblock me after accidentally linking them to this video lmao
Well DAMN, where the fuck has she been practicing that technique and is she still allowed within 100 yards of a petting zoo? These 2 things seem to be intertwined.
Rebecca's first time in Stinktown USA proves memorable. For the guy trying to double-dip, not her. Binging Dr. Phil episodes is going to erase this memory faster than me getting permabanned from Home Depot for stress testing toilet displays.
Just what in the fuck is going on here? Sneaky camera angles? Or are we actually witnessed the mating ritual of a Tyrannosaurus Rex? I don't know man, but one thing is for sure: Straight White Cervix Lives most definitely do not matter today.
Anyone else have a theory that there's a factory churning out these girls by the hundreds on a conveyor belt in Edison New Jersey? They're all starting to bleed into the same hair/tan/sexually transmitted disease combo... and I don't like it.
Rarely do I say this... but she is 1 crotch hair away from a Burger King Breakfast Bowl on my dime. Unfortunately my potato spud wouldn't make it past stroke 4.
I dunno man... this seems pretty predictable outcome to me. Shes got the tolerance of tungsten steel and these prick jobs are more annoying than a checkmarked Twitter account. Low effort fraud should have been expected.
hmm I bet she hasn't felt this kind of satisfaction since going lvl 99 Karen at the McDonald's drive-thru and actually getting that 2nd dipping sauce on the house.
Short collection of those tissue-ripping videos you come across at 2:00 in the morning in the middle of a Dr Pepper-fueled jackoff marathon, only to never be seen again when you actually go looking for them on purpose. #tipofmypenis
Ever find yourself asking the question: What would happen if you spiked Freddy Kreuger's Ambien with boner pills, let Michael Myers into a glory hole and told Jason Voorhees that teenage pussy has a better use than pitchfork storage?
Nothing special here. Just your yearly reminder that her rockbottom, last attempt to stay relevant-sex tape has not been created yet. But trust me... it's priced in.
The one and only Danika Mori The original teflon rectum wizard, and might I say - still the best. Her anal acrobatics set such a standard in the renaissance days of amateur porn uploads, I almost forgot she even used her vag recreational activity.
Tired of jacking off to the same old fantasies of Cardi B in a bath tub full of Velveeta cheese and want the next best thing? How about the bi-product of a 50,000-Karma Reddit account? I'm talking fatal levels of simp neckbearding here.
I'll save you some time: I don't know who girls #2, 5 or 7 are. But I do know we can thank the combination of Smirnoff and Snapchat to make this video possible.
oh yeah, I've heard that one before. Same goes for prostitution and the night shift at White Castle. And they all end the same way: Full of grade-F beef and regrets.
Right-swipe of the year takes a stroll down buttblast boulevard in an attempt to expand her reach on social media. Little weak TBH. I've seen assholes getting stretched wider than that in the comments under any given Logan Paul video.
5+ minutes of implied family porn even Dr. Phil wouldn't touch. I think it's pretty safe to say 2020 has officially jumped the shark when it comes to sister swagging.
Blatant use of vaginas, Public shaming, High definition cameras -- this video is more well-rounded than the Grand Slam breakfast bill I ran out on this morning. The kicker is in the last video clip. Really brings me back to the glory (hole) days.
Listen up Patrick: when it comes time to splurge mom's xmas money this holiday season - try making it a worthwhile investment. Like a Kindle Fire. Or a noose.
You can go ahead and brag about your 14 inches of lethal force all you want bruh. If you're not using it to turn all white vaginas into a bowl of Bob Evans Mashed Potatoes, it's about as useful as a hot shower is to this mentally stable female.
