hmm. either our male protaganist has been studying the teachings of master Splinter, or me thinks she's been down this hazelnut covered highway before.
If the universe-switching eyerolls syncing up with every uppercut to her cervix wasn't proof enough, the Labor Day sale floral pattern fashion trends from Khols on her outfit should be that this is a super mom. Also, opiates are probably bad.
While you're doom scrolling through your 407th video of brainrotted TikTok leftovers, she's out here doing something productive. You two are not the same.
Yet another horde of beatniks that have somehow managed to monetize the kind of performances that once only existed behind the locked doors of a Berlin basement. Big points for that Mitzuwana breakdancing at the 6:12 mark though.
An enthusiastic flock of females that don't believe the night is over unti clout levels have reached unimaginable proportions. Very reminiscent of a reoccurring dream I keep having involving Ronda Rousey & STUBBS® Dr. Pepper BBQ sauce.
First warning sign should have been suggesting Ziploc Big Bags as contraceptive. The 2nd was needing to pay for a day pass in order to enter the donkey exhibit.
Zero evidence of his testosterone levels, but judging by the performance she just put on, one must assume they are in tip top shape. #olympics2024 #goforgold
That was about as much accidental as the front page of Reddit. Still, her reactions are kinda priceless. Particularly the "there's a pack of wallabys gnawing the inside of my sphincter" look that is persistently peppered throughout this interaction.
I've actually seen [this girl] before, but never getting ragdolled like Jeff Bezo's disposable income. Maybe when she's done finding herself, she can sign up for a safer hobby. Like glassblowing. Or teaching mountain lions yoga, for example.
I wish this had dual pov. His reaction as he realizes that friction is deflating those pigskins in real time would be akin to my discovery of Buc-ee's brisket sandwich.
What exactly are we looking at here? Hazing ritual? Underestimating Applebee's $1 margaritas? A Russian wedding night? I don't know, but one thing's for sure: The original tribal chief will be acknowledged and you can't do anything about it.
Ahh the 2011-2013 era of hooligan porn. [this] [duo] got chlamydia walking, so OnlyFans girls of today could spread digital AIDS running. History is important.
Honestly the resemblance is kinda spot on, all the way down to twinkle in her eye. But it's not her. I know because the only thing spitting was whatever mythical third testicle this guy was pulling reserves out of. What the fuck was that ending?
The shelf life on this niche can't be more than a year or two. "NoLube/PornForce/Broken Sluts" - All of these studios have one thing in common: Keep penetrating until the chromosome count is no longer in line with the national average. #ouch
If you want attention in 2024, it's gonna take a lot more than hangin brain in the checkout line at Hot Topic. So take notes ladies, because it's this kind of work ethic that springboards you from "girl friend" to "girl wife". Respectfully of course.
This one's pretty legendary as far as college porn goes. And apparently it's the layman's guide to attracting women in Nebraska: Where the cure for a Heineken hangover is getting straight rawdogged before locating your fucking toothbrush?
Prostitution is a pretty straight-forward process. Browse Craigslist Gigs-Labor section and let the restraining orders fly. Unless you're a naive rookie that charges less than KFC's 10-piece Family Feast. Then, it gets a little awkward...
