Look, I understand setting realistic expectations for yourself in life... but maybe we can try to do better than communal ashtray next time? I believe in you.
Not exactly the most unexpected chain of events from a woman that comes less prepared for war than whoevers handicap stall I invaded at Waffle House last week. Sorry Wheels, but the janitor bucket doesn't meet my capacity standard.
TikTok Porn: These zero effort chicks are about as exciting as an audio book of Alex Jones customizing a footlong at Subway. But throw in a few paywall'd parasocial relationships and suddenly they become a legends in the making.
Not sure a gap between your eyes wide enough for New York City to charge to park inside of, is on my list of "boner material". But uhh... I'm open to new things.
uhh I'm no expert, but I think it might be time to pack it up and find a safer hobby. Like... collecting Pokemon cards, or maybe building hydrogen bombs for example.
Unfortunately I can't confirm it's authenticity. But it wouldn't be the first time someone filmed their significant other giving the ole dunkachino to a minimum wage stranger, and if 2022 has taught me anything - it will not be the last.
Dude is hung like an Idaho potato, and she's got the kind of crazy eyes that would send Steve Buscemi running. Normally this kind of inbreeding would be kept behind closed doors until a Twitter hashtag is created for it... yet here we are.
Short of being an extra on Rocco's Retirement Village Tour (coming 2035) - I'm not sure how this talent comes in handy. Never knowing the feels of a consensual relationship maybe? An existence without having to shop for birthday gifts?
An understandable request... until you hit the 2:50 mark and realize something has gone terribly wrong. I'd be a little less concerned about cornholing, and more worried about whatever safari animal got ahold of that thing before her.
There's no shortage of people that consider teaching their penis the macarena a societal norm. Probably not for beginners. Chances are you'll misjudge one 360 no-scope & catch a local in the crossfire. Also known as "The Ben Roethlisberger"
That Becky-lynn Dakota Monroe in the first video sure has an interesting way of servicing her community. While everyone reserves their public reamings for the Best Buy customer service line; she decided to start her charity work at home.
Seeing a condom in one of these random hookup videos is actually becoming a rare occurrence. Both Mountain Dew and Plan B thank you for your contributions.
Probably just reached drinking age and is already setting the bar too high for the other Insta-THOTS to jump over. I don't know if I should be disgusted, or slide in those DM's and ask for group discounts. According to this footage, they do exist.
Dude being completely naked down to his feet has to be noted here. A proponent for personal freedom, or reducing drag in order to achieve maximum velocity?
Most 19-year-olds work their way into college and learn trigonometry. Others are in it for the networking. Me? I moved to skidrow and documented hobos smoking meth and performing communal rimjobs. A revolutionary concept at the time.
Today we go on a journey to a time forgotten. Shoutout to Julian for being a role model during my college years. That man's lust for turning fallopian tubes into tier-3 tuna casserole should have earned the Martha Stewart seal of approval.
Found this gem in comments: "He has basketball shorts on with no underwear and I am so distracted by his big fat monster dick print that I am on the ground from a hard punch before I know it and he is taking my phone and running away"
I don't know who she is but the checklist has already been maxed out: Puts out on the first date. Isn't afraid to go full commando, and has absolutely no respect for the domestic leatherette option in the Suburban you borrowed from mom.
Can't say I'm used to getting these kinds of requests outside of a FarmersOnly match, so color me pleasantly surprised. At that and her nipple symmetry. Not being required to own a forklift prior to date #1 is also a plus I'm not overlooking.
