I think crammin ham should be saved for more important celebratory moments in a girl's life. Like, marriage. Or getting a ghost wipe after a Pizza Hut dinner box.
Come on down to Typhoon Bill's 8ball Alley. A luxury trailer park that promises to fulfill your every need, or the first two prescriptions of Rocephin are on the house.
The primary drive train has definitely failed the Carfax report more than once, but whatever summer tires she's running on the back make up for it. I haven't seen grip that impressive since Holmes clutching Superbowl XLIII in the forth quarter.
Dog The Bounty Hunter once said the daywalker is the most elusive creature on our planet. Centuries of human evolution have molded them to be some sort of cockroach/human hybrid. One would think their survival skills would be S-tier...
If it weighs less than a garbage bag full of water damaged Saved By The Bell VHS tapes and has less depth than a zoomer with a pocket full of unused V-Bux cards, it's gotta be Molly Little. She may actually be on to something here. #imlying
tbf, the only thing more nauseating than playing Only Up in VR would be waking up to another family member dive bombing without getting the green light first.
If it's rare to find a meat mop worth spending money on to access, then ur lookin at the shark attack of OF girls. Her proof? The near-zero mileage below the waistline and having more tolerance than me watching The Marvels. [more here]
She's got the everything you could ask for, but something about her significant other is giving me "i pay scammers on discord to tell me what crypto coins to buy and have filed bankruptcy on 11 different occasions" vibes. Many such cases tbh.
The downside of dating girls w/ the libido of adderall addicted mongooses? She makes the rules. Both in sex & the all-asparagus diet you now have to abandon.
That soundtrack was pretty banging. Wanna know what's not though? Whatever the fuck crawled in or out of that man's anal cavity at the start of the video. I haven't seen that kind of wreckage since the great crave crate challenge of '97.
Seems this chumpo prefers his women to be on the defensive, specifically ones that have the best set of knockers I've seen on this side of Walmart's customer service line. I promise tho, its the greatest ICP-fan sex tape you'll fap to today.
Reason #28971 to never judge a book by it's cover. Unless it's whatever the fuck this is. Then feel free to Judge Judy until your foreskin grows back. I'm on drugs.
What in the cornbread skidmark hell is going on with this generation? Once upon a time having the genetic configuration of a Madagacar tomato frog would limit your partners to Walmart shoppers. Now tho? No one even pumps the brakes.
Much like everything Marvel has turned into a TV series; This starts out pretty interesting, but 30 seconds in you realize you've seen this shit before. Then you masturbate anyway and have a good night's rest before the credits start rolling.
The aftermath is key here. The same results could've been achieved by renting a John Deer tractor and filling her with Oxycontin. But where's the chivalry in that?
A moment of Internet history, almost forgotten in the annals of time. It's hard to explain to a newcomer why this shit was so groundbreaking in the late 2000's. Just imagine a college campus with no politics and an endless supply of Plan B.
The original upload refers to her as his wife, but I know that diabolical level of contact avoiding at the 1:27 mark only comes in the form of pay-to-play. #facts
The original title alone they have over there is so fucking absurd, you have to believe it's actually true. Admittedly it might not be worth the 30 minute mini-series run time, but it's definitely one of the unicorns of the Xhamster underbelly.
These stories have not been embellished, because - they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of the average degenerate human being sharing this planet with you. Except that last one. Oh yes, there will be blood.
