Every so often you come across a video that's so revolutionary, so authentic, it makes u wonder what the purpose of life really is. This is not one of those videos.
There's a thin line between what's considered acceptable forms of payment and what isn't on the street level of narcotics distribution. I can't tell you exactly where that line is drawn, but I do know Figgles McDickslap just fuckin crossed it.
Not really related to the video, but every time this woman reaches peak sexual arousal, she instantly turns into that vegan creature if someone used a car battery to jump start her uterus. Examples at 0:18, 0:36 and 0:45 time markers.
original title:selfie to make your day better. Listen bitch; 7 hrs ago it seemed like a good idea to eat 64 slices of American Cheese & wash it down with gin. Unless u have a sewing kit & extensive knowledge of battle wounds, ur request is denied.
Back in a time long forgotten, Kasia was laying the groundwork for the EZ mode THOTS around the world are enjoying today. She launched her own website, shot content weekly & only got disowned by her family one time. A true porn pioneer.
I can forgive the potato-grade video quality. I understand the lack of names to prevent Instagram stalking. But cutting off the girls @3:39 before they ran to use honey dijon as lubricant? ZERO/5 stars you simple-minded, incredulous fuck bag.
warning: the i'm close enough to smell the chic-fil-a polynesian sauce position is not approved for women over 35 or those with pre-existing vertebrae conditions.
Almost feels like the b-roll footage out of a semi modern day slasher flick. He's gonna feel about as awkward as the brown dude every time Captain Planet came on screen begging for help once he realizes his cock is all over 3% of the Internet.
1 part hypebeast, 14 parts herpes simplex two. Surely my user base doesn't need a PSA on the reasons not to raw dog a girl that considers Fruit Stripe gum a luxury item. But just in case I've given too much faith, do not try this one at home.
Just when you think it's safe to love again. edit: That isn't the fucking video I originally linked to. Listen champs, I don't need your help to be made a fool of. My lifetime ban from every Denny's handicap stall in the country does that for me.
The upside to being treated like the exhaust pipe of a Chevrolet El Dorado? Literally nothing. All you have to do is breath and the alpha male fantasy fan fiction will magnetize to you like a herpes outbreak at a Playboi Carti concert.
$20.00 and the last bite of my Cheeseburger Hamburger Helper says she uses dumbass phrases like "amazeballs and ""awesome sauce" and "i'll kill you if I find you hiding in my bushes with a camera again mother fucker". Typical millennial.
If you're the kind of person that enjoys peak sigma male behavior, then this is the video for you. I'm talking the kind of blueprint that guy who used to dress up as a latex demon and run into the woods to shove leaves up his ass couldn't follow.
It could be legit. This wouldn't be the first time a college bro agreed to sample some expired salami in exchange for living rent-free. Annnnd it won't be the last.
