In a sea of Instagram fueled BBL copycat creatures slowly merging into some sort of SIMP-fueled Voltron monster, emerges something out of Brazil that won't eject your brain for looking at it the wrong way. Now all hail Theodora Moutinho.
Eye-rolling hotdog acrobat takes her show on the road. Sometimes it's on her uncles faux leather seats. Other times it's to channel her inner leather face. Whoever told you romance is dead was obviously lying to your fuckin face.
It may not be explicitly written, but there's only one translation for that body language. And it lives somewhere in between "I need to pay my taxes" and "$1 dollar pizza slices make me shit blood". Just three of life's little guarantees.
Getting blown out within shouting distance of your HOA'd neighbors is a pretty bold move. Honestly, it's one of superiority. Nancy and her 13 cats will most definitely think twice about filing a noise complaint at the next board meeting.
Some say it's a moment in history akin to the wild west, and boy did every liberal arts student under 200lbs take full advantage of it. You might get the smell of Drakkar Noir and Natty Ice out of those walls, but... the stories. Those are forever.
The true downside of marrying prostitutes from russiabride.com? Every wiener in a three-mile radius is using your 9-5 to unload some nut sac gazpacho on your significant other And don't even get me started on the ridiculous storage fees.
Everything about that statement is true, except the "oops" part. Something tells me 'ole carrot top here has sabotaged these sweatshop dick ponchos before...
Sometimes I think about the amount of guttural toxic waste this man has used his dipstick to measure without protective gear. There's no way he's still alive.
Pristine box proportions. Hooked up with Tiger Wood's Caddy, and is easily a 10/10 on the "dude i would literally crawl through barb wire just to hear her fart through a walkie talkie" scale. It's highly recommended you watch this one twice.
goblin mode; the behavior of someone who wants to feel comfortable doing whatever they want, not caring about trying to be clean, healthy, attractive or about impressing other people. [PART I]
Dude's firing all kinds of sour cream like he's emptying a Chipotle gift card. But the target? If the original title is true, then history suggests her post-nut waddle to the toilet will be turned into some sort of TikTok dance over the next 3-7 days.
Ginger crotch drops her socks and takes cock in her fart box? This freestyle is brought to you by the same clogged outhouse that squeezed out this atrocity.
Normally this kind of attempt at public depravity would be immediately thrown into the compost pile for wasting our time. But I'm told this lunatic is legit, and has a history of freebasing randoms along her journey. Big rofl @ the 1:33 mark.
Imagine the only entry on your IMDB page was "Buttfucked by Jackie Chan while frat bros cheer the herpes outbreak". Well if ur Amanda, u don't have to imagine.
