If this is what passes for eroticism in Russia, I think we have a problem. Pretty sure I don't wanna know who's erection rigidity is decided by how many bananas, 4-Lokos and menopausal women appear in the videos they save to desktop.
Dude being completely naked down to his feet has to be noted here. A proponent for personal freedom, or reducing drag in order to achieve maximum velocity?
Most 19-year-olds work their way into college and learn trigonometry. Others are in it for the networking. Me? I moved to skidrow and documented hobos smoking meth and performing communal rimjobs. A revolutionary concept at the time.
All I see is jealousy. Well... maybe "jealous" is the wrong word as it would imply she gives half a shit about public image. Trust me; she doesn't. I've been inside a White Castle at 2:00AM. I know what antipathy and diseased meat looks like.
If that isn't the look of a girl that's admitted to losing her virginity to a mailbox, I don't know what is. Now get your ass back to changing room #3 and clean up. Not even China Buffet exposes their customers to substances this retched.
Coors Light expert zones out her surroundings just long enough to focus on better things. I.E. getting a faceful of Kentucky's finest directly into her minge. I'm waiting for the sequel. The one where Lester makes a b-line for that b-whole.
Well shit, with proportions and elasticity like that I'll gladly lower my standard and line up at the brillo pad elephant dick barbershop with the rest of em. #noregrats
My gut tells me soon after this video finished, her status as "loyal girlfriend" was about as believable as the Fast & Furious franchise stopping after the 47th movie.
This is standard im having a quarterlife crisis so I'm gonna filter the shit out of my face and make a TikTok account syndrome. Fortunately for us, the Internet gives the gift of social media to bridge the eventual gap into Walmart parking lot porn.
For the 99.3% of the world that gives less than a shit about the TikTok hierarchy; That's Bella Poarch in the thumbnail. And the right side is the end result of some giga SIMP feverishly finishing his and/or her weekly dose of Ritalin in a single day.
Turns out the keto friendly bratwurst and vinegar diet has a downside after-all. Call me a psychic, but I'm guessing the sequel isn't on her to-do schedule...
7 (read: seven, as in the number of times I've been kicked out of Burger King for "unnecessary use of a urinal") acts of public lewdness not even I suggest copying, especially that last one. Let's just say: Raging Waters will never be the same again.
Today we go on a journey to a time forgotten. Shoutout to Julian for being a role model during my college years. That man's lust for turning fallopian tubes into tier-3 tuna casserole should have earned the Martha Stewart seal of approval.
bottoming out: "When the penis or other instrument used in a vagina, hits the back wall and can not go in any further." or better known as: "getting lil jon'd"
Willingly humiliated, nearly choked unconscious and takes more shots than Floyd Mayweather during a 12 round championship bout. No, it's not Connor's return to the octagon. But it's still going to cost you $59.99 if her 1st name has a hypen in it.
Found this gem in comments: "He has basketball shorts on with no underwear and I am so distracted by his big fat monster dick print that I am on the ground from a hard punch before I know it and he is taking my phone and running away"
And by lesson, I mean negotiating better pay than $1.00 Wendy's Frosty coupons when agreeing to a scene that damages more pussy than a Texas animal rescue.
