See that last look on Becky's face? It's the "aw fuck, i shouldn't have skipped my shift at Baskin Robbins for this" look. lol, no shit girl. 1) Mocha Blasts are delicious. 2) your dumbass wouldn't be front page WSHH material.
She's not exactly equipped with the rectal capacity of Richard Simmons, but the real deal breaker is bitching in broken English. Very reminiscent of a reoccurring dream I keep having involving Sofia Vergara and a billy goat.
This DiCaprio-level actress isn't much for words, but her plight is pretty clear. Likely couldn't cut it as a Starbuck's barista and is now left making 'porn' that only appeals to guys that jack off to WWE. You'll fap.
Japan-inspired remix involving serious g-spot stimulation and someone's first experience with Windows Movie maker goes horribly... right? Sounds like a direct spot in the Billboard 100 to me. And now I have a direct boner.
Cornholing: It's the make-or-break moment in a girl's relationship. There's always fear, but with optimism like "relax", and "you thinking bout it 2 much" our homeboy Octavious turns out to be the Bob Ross of mud gloving.
Some wisdom I picked up during my 6 hour stakeout of a bathroom at a monster truck rally: You get what you pay for. And by the looks of these leather handbags, I'd say this bitch used Groupon at the time of service LOL.
Confirmation #92 that you're a fully fledged slutaroonie: The douchebag quartet (pic #5) whip their cocks out in the corner of a bar, and rather than go Kung Fu Panda on them, you snap photos for Instagram. #NOFILTER
Luisa wrapped her bichano around the wrong chalupa, and now she's gonna pay. I haven't seen justice served so epicly since the time I took a shit in the Blockbuster video return slot. $1 rewind fee on a DVD my black ass.
She's been gifted the oral capacity of a Meghan Trainor fan, yet keeps her chin count to a solid '1'. Perks: a.) balls-deep is standard b.) forgo any and all application approval for anything, ever c.) all the above. PROFILE.
This is xXxfuukaxXx, but I prefer the moniker teh Mahatma Gandhi of amateur porn. She's here to show you that real beauty is skin deep. Right underneath the two #7's at Del Taco and 38 ounces of smooth Dr. Pep.
Prettier the girl, the nicer you have to act to get below the panty line. A pretty standard concept and it's now officially obsolete thanks to this Australian asshole. Guy makes Martin Shkreli look charitable, he's that dickish.
Let's hope dude is better at guarding the food court than he is at laying pipe. Because after 38 seconds of vaginal contact, the show is over. No embarrassment, no questions. Just 1 federali multitasking like the boss.
Every good movie deserves a sequel, and many moons ago we discovered a girl that has less tolerance for raw beef products than a level 5 vegan. Probably all an act, but the hole-to-hole acrobatics is worth the followup.
Becky tries to single-handledly start her own stripper lives matter movement... by assisting her colleague's spontaneous skull fucking and not giving 1 shit about it.
Can't imagine this guy's life. Is it still considered 'gay' if the Alabama corn-holer you're sucking is your own? Here's to hoping the solution to that question is still on Stephen Hawking's bucket list. Time's ticking my friend.
This girl is a total audiophile. Bang her at just the right angle and you'll be rewarded with sounds you'd normally hear in a public bathroom during the Puerto Rican Day parade. Let the greasing of your chorizo grande begin.
She literally can't go 7 consecutive seconds without having to stop and scrunch her face like Michael Cera being bent over by an NFL linebacker. It's a condition. Us folks in the pronographic community call it cuntitis.
Guess he figured once the sound of MFC pocket change was heard, his cock would transform from Twizzler to the sword of Excalibur. TIP: It doesn't. And his hefty honey abandons ship faster than a gym elliptical lvl 1.
Trashy brunette high off a feminist rally channels some standard white-female empowerment fantasy through the power of pussy. But the real trophy here isn't Cletus' snapshot, it's Hobo Jones in the background.
