Dragging your contractually obligated meat pocket to a secluded beach for 4 minutes of rubber-coated humping is cool and all, but where's the art? A sand enema, a jellyfish tampon; can you start thinking outside of the box please?
The description under the video is about as accurate as attendance numbers at a wrestling ppv. All signs and cellulite point to her being one of Walmart's finest.
Adrien Brody levels of acting here. The story, the camerawork, the multiple cuts to fit in a few doses of Valtrex. If it wasn't for those double milk jugs stealing the spotlight our dude might be up for an Oscar. Someone get the nomination going.
And by caught I mean encouraged to bareback strangers she met at the self-checkout lane in Target while her toadstool'd husband slap boxes his cocktail frank under dim lighting from another room. Sickening. more: [I] [II] [III] [IV]
"Squirting on the UBER driver" usually isn't a service you can add through the app. But anyone that's taken the old Taco Bell detour on the way home from a bar knows it becomes negotiable before the trip has been completed. iykyk
I'm no expert, but we may be reaching critical levels of shamelessness here. Or as the Italians used to call it; "Exterminus Adversus Slutterdominous". #historical
That's pretty good. [this] is better though. Mainly because it really shows us the aftermath of spending half a decade cramming the industries finest right back up the 'ole rusty walnut and how the future rectal intolerance is never guaranteed.
Pants off, penetrated and slimed all in under a minute thirty while not missing a step on those stubborn limescale stains around the grout lines. I don't know if this is a personal best, but he should probably submit the attempt to speedrunslive.
It's pretty unbelievable what kind of deals still exist if you're just willing to put in the work and find seek them out. No need to negotiate on price either. Just lay down that $18.00 [USD] and let the all you can eat vaginitis buffet begin.
Maybe taming the stinky weasel is just more of a norm in other parts of the world? Either way, dude is sitting on a goldmine of a significant other here and the Internet demands more of her content including access to all mud buttons.
Debuting your asshole with this man as your costar is the equivalent of taking your drivers license test at a destruction derby. Against all odds she somehow she not only survived her rectal rearrangement, but thrived for many years to come.
A better title for this one would be "Last nights pasta primevera makes a surprise reappearance but my daughter can't stop violating herself for strangers in Uzfukisthan so I can't use my own shitter". Unfortunately there's a character limit.
It's one thing to beseech the good name of a private education institution. It's another to do it to the tune of $27.00 per month. Now somebody invite her to Knicks locker room. She could be doing a lot more good for the world right now.
After making it to the end of this zero budget shit show I'm inclined to believe it should've stayed forgotten. The full version is over an hour long and makes The Blair Witch Project look like it's part of the Scorsese catalog. I do not recommend.
What are the last 3 words you want to hear after getting naked in front of your /fom? If you answered "is that Helmans?"; you're wrong. But points will be added.
